AN: The title is my response to last night's show. I'm incredibley unhappy Shonda decided to practically kill my ship so I wrote this ficlet in an attempt to make myself feel better... It didn't work.
"I want a baby."
She'd always wanted to be a mother. When she was young she would force her older brother to play house with her every chance she got. Dolls were carried everywhere she went and placed carefully into their bassinets at the end of the day. She even dressed up her cat and pushed it around the neighborhood in a stroller.
Once she became an intern it was only natural that she felt pulled towards neo-natal. She loved to watch babies grow strong and healthy while under her care. She knew that she became a little too attached at times, but chalked it up to being a newbie and continued on her way. It wasn't until the first baby was lost under her watch that she second-guessed her profession.
When she married Derek both wanted children, but neither wanted them just yet. They were young and on their way up in the medical profession and neither were ready for children. The excuse, however, perpetuated itself and eleven years down the road they still were too busy with work.
And then there was the baby with Mark. If she'd been thinking clearly she probably would have kept it, but she'd always reacted a bit suddenly to things. All she could think of was that the two-timing Sloan genes shouldn't be passed down any more than they already had. Oh, and Mark really would have made a horrible father.
The 'maybe' part came after the deed was done and she'd found that onsie.
Then things had gone to shit even more. She was depressed and desperate and went to Seattle. We all know how that turned out. Derek broke her heart again, Mark and Alex confused her to the point of exhaustion, and then neither of them wanted her in the end. So she headed to LA to find someone who would.
"I'm sorry, honey," Naomi said as she took a seat across from Addison. "But we can't help you."
"What?" Addison sat forward. "I know I can get pregnant."
"That's not the problem." Naomi pushed Addison's chart across the desk to her. "You're already pregnant."
Six hours later she was still staring at the phone, willing herself to pick it up and call. Every once in a while she'd grab it and scroll down to his name but she just couldn't hit send. Instead, she'd throw the phone back onto the night stand and then pace the room a few times before going back to her perch on the bed.
After a few deep breaths she shook out her shoulders and neck, psyched herself up by chanting "I can do this"over and over again, and then grabbed the phone. She scrolled through the numbers and hit send as fast as possible so as not to think about it and waited. It rang twice before he picked up. She thought strongly about hanging up the phone but closed her eyes instead and said softly, "We need to talk, Mark."
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