Okay, I've had this idea for a really long time but I wasn't sure how I wanted to write it and I wrote this in kind of a hurry. It all just kind of came out. I know I have other stories, but I just updated them so this is okay! I don't think this will be a super long story, maybe a couple of chapters. Give me feedback and let me know what you guys think. If I should continue, if the characters seem OOC or anything else you want to let me know. Thanks and I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own the show or any of the characters, unfortunately.

Barney had been eyeing this brunette at the bar all night. It was wrong on so many levels and for so many reasons. Number one: he wasn't just eyeing her; he was watching her, which Barney Stinson just didn't do. Number two: he hadn't even been trying to take anyone home. Every time he was on the verge of success, his eyes would wander to the brunette and that would be the end of it. Number three: She had been here for almost three hours and he hadn't hit on her yet. Whenever he tried to go talk to her something would distract him (and it definitely wasn't because he was nervous. That would just be ridiculous). Number three (and arguably most important): she was wearing a turtleneck. A turtleneck! Not some slutty low-cut top, no she was wearing a turtleneck. And she looked amazing. Better than any woman should look in something that actively hides flesh.

He watched her leave her friends and make her way to the bar and he made up his mind. He was going to hit on her and he would take her home tonight. He would, because she wasn't different than any other girl. He took a deep breath and moved toward her. He came up behind her, standing close but not too close.

"100 bucks says that when you turn around," he started but didn't get to finish as the brunette whirled around.

"You say 'wow'?" She asked raising an eyebrow. And he stood there with his mouth open, flapping slightly. He was fairly certain he resembled a fish, but he continued to stand there staring at her. This girl had just completed his pick-up line. Women didn't do that, actually most of the women he hit on were too oblivious to notice it was a line, but whatever. The woman laughed at him and shook her head. "Yeah, I've heard you use that line on five other girls tonight."

"I-I-I have not!" He sputtered. Dear God, he was off his game. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Yes," she nodded. "You have. So, what are you still doing here? I think you've hit on every woman in the bar."

"To be honest," he smirked turning on his charm. "All those women were like 6's or 7's, but you're a 10."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." She warned turning toward the bar and getting Carl's attention. "Can I have a Jonnie Walker Blue neat?" Okay, this girl must've come out of Barney's fantasy because she just ordered a Jonnie Walker, not a Cosmo or a Margarita. A Jonnie Walker.

"Nice choice," he commented appreciatively.

"I'm not going home with you." She said taking a sip of her drink.

"I'm sorry, I must have missed the part where I asked you to." At least he wasn't sputtering like an idiot anymore. Although, if he didn't have any chance before, he had definitely lost it now.

"Oh I'm sorry, did you miss the part where you used a pick-up line?" She asked raising an eyebrow. He liked this girl. She could give it back to him. He actually liked talking to her. There were very few women he could say that about and normally there was the promise of sex afterwards. And at this point he was sure this night wouldn't end in sex, at least not with her.

"I like you," Barney nodded thoughtfully. "Barney Stinson." He said and held out his hand for her to shake.

"Robin Scherbatsky," she smiled placing her hand in his. He felt a shock when their hands touched. Stupid static electricity. That had to be what it was, it's not like it was a spark because things like that didn't actually happen. Except for Lily and Marshall but they didn't count.

"Scherbatsky?" He questioned mulling it over. "Russian?" She could be Russian, he figured. Russian women were hot. The biggest problem with Russia was that there was no sundress season. It was a shame, really. All those women going to waste.

"Actually, I'm Canadian." And there it was, the 'oh' moment. Ew, Canada.

"Ugh," he groaned.

"What's wrong with Canada?" She asked her voice getting defensive.

"Only everything," he scoffed rolling her eyes. "I don't even know why we let you guys be a country."

"Uhm, Canada is way more awesome than America."

"You can't use the words Canada and awesome in the same sentence. It's an oxymoron." He explained taking a sip of beer.

"How can you even defend America?" She asked incredulously. "Canada has universal healthcare, we actually agree on important issues, we have hockey, and Tim Horton's. I mean, c'mon." Barney laughed. He couldn't believe she was actually attempting to defend Canada.

"You say the word out as 'oot', your cops are called Mounties, and your national animal is a beaver!"

"Hey! Beavers are cute!"

"Typical Canadian," he muttered shaking his head sadly.

"God, I could really throw a drink in your face right now." She said glaring at him and he laughed.

"No one would throw a drink in the Barnacle's face because I'm awesome." He smiled singing the last part.

"Yeah, that just strengthened the feeling." She took another sip and swung the glass between her fingers. "Lucky for you, this drink is way too good to waste."

"So Scherbatsky," he said liking the way her last name sounded on his lips. God, that was corny. What was going on? "I haven't seen you talk to any men tonight, besides me. You're not a lesbian, are you?" He asked quirking an eyebrow. He knew she wasn't. He could spot a lesbian from a mile away. What he really wanted to know was if she was taken or single or what exactly the deal was.

"No," she glowered at him and he laughed. He expected that reaction. "My friend over there," she gestured pointing to the corner booth, "just got dumped. Men are off-limits." He glanced at Robin's friends and noticed the one in the middle was glaring directly at him.

"You're still talking to me." He pointed out.

"Yeah, well. They're a little depressing."

"You're not going to admit it's because maybe you like me, just a little." She shook her head, a smirk formed, and her lips turned upward.

"You know you've been talking to me for the last 45 minutes and I've already taken sex off the table. What gives, Stinson?" He smiled at her use of his last name. Jesus Christ, he was turning into Ted.

"I can't just enjoy a woman's company?"

"Not when you've hit on, literally, every woman in this bar."

"Okay, I may have an ulterior motive." He admitted. He didn't really, but he didn't want to sound like a Ted. He racked his brain trying to think of a good reason and came up with nothing. He felt himself getting more and more wound up as he looked at her. He could not be falling for her, this was craziness. Barney Stinson did not fall for women. Especially not Canadians. He needed to go play laser tag. Laser tag! That was it. She wouldn't want to play laser tag, this could ruin the illusion. No girl would play laser tag. Actually, no one over twelve really played laser tag, but Barney could because he was awesome. She raised her eyebrow in question.

"I need a laser tag partner."

"What?" She asked the confusion written all over her face.

"There's a laser tag championship this weekend and I need a partner. My friend Ted was supposed to do it, but he bailed." Barney explained easily, it's not like it was a lie. He did need a partner but he hadn't asked Ted yet. Although Ted always said no.

"I didn't know laser tag still existed." She laughed and he gasped.

"How could you not know of the existence of such an awesome sport?" He asked in mock shock. This was it, she was going to say no. Bam! Illusion shattered. He would get over this girl quickly. Not before he could get under her though. What up?

"Alright, I'm in." What? No, no, no. She was supposed to say 'no'.

"What?"

"I'm in. Sounds like fun," she shrugged. Okay, what else could he say to scare her off? This woman was almost too good to be true. When he shook his head clearing his thoughts and he noticed her hand was out.

"Huh?" He asked looking at her hand.

"Your phone," she said impatiently. "If you want me to be your laser tag partner, you need a way to get a hold of me."

"Oh, right." He handed over the phone and couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot. He had been talking to Robin for over an hour and didn't even get her number. He spent less time convincing woman to go home with him. He glanced around the bar and noticed Ted giving him a curious look. He ignored Ted and turned his attention back to Robin. He would not let Ted see this weakness. He would never hear the end of it. When Ted left a half an hour later, Barney was still at the bar talking to Robin. He tried not to notice the knowing look on Ted's face when he left.

He wasn't developing feelings. Ugh, feelings. No, he had just never met a woman who had so much in common with him. A woman who was this, for lack of a better word, awesome. But he definitely didn't have feelings for her. Plus, he had only known her for a couple of hours. He was positive that the more he got to know her, the less appealing she would be. Once she expressed her interest in marriage and children, all thoughts of feelings would go out the window. Yeah, then Robin would just be a friend. A bro, which was an honor really. It's not often that a woman was worthy of the bro title. And that's all she was, just a bro, because Barney Stinson did not catch feelings.