Until I get my hard drive back, here's a short fanfic to tie me over. Yes, me. I needed to write SOMETHING. It's so hard having beaten Kingdom Hearts II and not having my fanfic to work on! As for the hard drive, I forgot my external's cord on my vacation in Oregon. It's being mailed back to me and hasn't arrived just yet. So.. here we go! RANDOM FANFICTION.
Not a very good one but here we go anyway.
This Time
He was being contradicting. I couldn't see through his fumbling lies and stammering stories to the point it was confusing, and all his words became jumbled garble reverberating through my skull. What I didn't understand was what was compelling Sora to fabricate and why he couldn't just tell me what he was doing in my closet. After all, it is a strange place to find your best friend when you get home. Stranger even more, Sora apparently came through the front door, too.
"Sora's here," my mother said as I came inside the house. I started taking my shoes off, not having heard her immediately, and by the time I put the grocery bags in my one arm down on the kitchen table, I had realized what she said.
"He is?" I asked after a couple minutes.
"Is what?" She returned, not even sure what we were talking about then. "Oh." She remembered aloud. "Yeah. I sent him to your room till you got back."
He finally fell silent in my recollection, watching me to see if I absorbed and allowed his words to be accepted as truth. The dead air was refreshing.
"What are you doing in my closet!" I snapped at him. "Further more, why are you upside down?" Sora had his lower body neatly resting against the wall, his shoulders partially hunched so he could look up toward me with those round, innocent blue eyes that were the biggest fraudulence in the entire situation. He flipped himself upright and sat beneath me - appropriately.
"Well... I was just explaining ("Lying," I grumbled.) - No! I wasn't... I mean..." He was terrible at it. "I can't tell you but you'll understand soon!" Was he taking me for a fool, I thought. That I'd let him get away with that?
Well, I did. He left without so much as another word of denial, only that I would come to understand really soon. How soon, I had to ask. Within the next day, came my quick answer. Oh. Okay.
More often than not, you'd think when it comes to Sora, I just don't want to know. That I'd somehow begin to believe should I ask, I'm really asking for it. 'It' being something I absolutely, undoubtedly will regret hearing. Words to follow me for the rest of eternity's drawn out days, an unrelinquishable torture chamber set on automatic. Despite this, my greatest flaw would have to be my curiosity. When it comes to Sora, I actually want to know. He's interesting, to say the least, and when he manages to be the only person who's secrets and exploits draw me from the shadows to take a peak, you tend to have a soft spot.
Now was no different from any other time. His finger of venture allured me, shaking itself at my face and under my nose. Come, Riku. Come see what I have for you today. I was risking life and limb inside your closet because -
Well, that answer was still secluded in that head of his. I sat on my bed and looked around my room with a heaving sigh of disappointment that I let him go without telling me. Did he take something? Quite possibly. I mean, what else could he be doing that would throw him in such a panic to hide in my closet? Was that what he was even doing, I wondered. I stood up and trailed toward the still open door and glanced inside. Aside from the disarray he had caused within, nothing appeared to be missing. All my clothes were still there; shoes accounted for; boxes with some papers and toys, nothing of real importance - in place. I migrated to other parts of my room in investigation. I spent the better part of my night just trying to see if my dear friend stole anything out of my room. Trust at its best.
When midnight rolled around and gloated that the next day had arrived and I was still without conciliation, I threw myself like a missile toward my bed. I had shed a few hairs in stress and if it wasn't white already, I'd probably have been loaded with grays. Damn, Sora. You do quite a bit of damage when you don't tell me anything. He seems to have that undying affect on me. Flopping onto my back, I stared at my ceiling with malice. School was in seven hours. I'd have to talk to him.
But revenge seemed suitable this time. I always let Sora off the hook and run free every time he causes me aggravation. This was a night I could've spent doing something far more productive like studying history and subjects I already know or lying in my bed as I was, staring around with a little less hatred. No. I couldn't let myself go easy on him. However, hurting him wasn't as easy to think of as telling myself to do it was. On a scale of 1 to 10, Sora struck a good 10 on making me the mushiest man alive inside, while being the hardest shell to crack otherwise. It's embarrassing to say how light I can be, but I can't deny it all the same. Knowing the weakness makes you stronger, after all.
Ever look around your room after you've torn it apart and somehow feel like the atmosphere was much heavier than normal? As if someone else was standing in your room with you, taking up your air space and making your ears ring. That feeling where you don't have to turn around to know someone or something else had wandered into your personal realm. Infiltrating your bubble, consuming your oxygen, and so on.
No one was in my room. I checked in every hiding spot to only find objects that always pass their time there. That buzz in my ear drums was annoying but had to be my imagination. There wasn't anything there. I laid down to sleep it away, forced to smash my head under a pillow after five long minutes of that internal alarm. Had to be the worst night of sleep I had ever gotten, all thanks to Sora.
The following day, or rather later on for me, I was sloshing like mud through the halls. I was just struggling on exhaustion to make it to my desk in my classes without falling over to kill myself to sleep. Temptation be as it may, I was lucky to survive. As fine as ever, well-rested and pumped to go, Sora was trailing behind me with Kairi, yammering to her as if he had caused me no such thing as pain. Bastard, I thought. You bastard.
"Happy birthday, Riku!" Kairi thrusted a box into my face, a box with shiny paper and pretty ribbons, both of which thoroughly smashed against my forehead. She yelped in surprise to my slow reaction time and dropped in on the desktop before me. "Oh, Riku. You okay? I'm sorry." She leaned down to rest her hand on my forehead, touch gentle as ever, and brushed my hair away to check for a fever. "Don't feel warm." She stood up straight and laughed. "Oh well. Riku, open your gift! I hope you like it." I couldn't help but smile at her and took the box.
"Thanks, Kairi," I said and started to tear at it. I ripped at its insides carefully, the paper such pointless decoration. I grinned at the black leather gloves I pulled out, fingerless and tasteful and completely my style. A silver chain followed it, the charm on it very similar to Sora's, only the crown appeared upside down and sharper. Great. I could swing it at his face when I saw him next and take the blue orbs out of his skull. "These are neat." I pulled the gloves on immediately and Kairi swung around behind me to help put the necklace on. "Thanks."
"I'm just glad you like them!" She leaned down, chest against my head, and looked around to smile at me. She patted my shoulder gently and sat down beside me in her chair. I hadn't noticed Sora was already on my other side. When he got there? I completely failed to notice. Sora leaned forward, as did Kairi, and they shared a long stare at each other, eyes blinking in vivid conversation. I looked between them both, a sharp, stabbing glare at Sora and a simple beam at Kairi.
Before I could inquire, this overwhelming look of disappointment washed over Sora and they both leaned back with the same expression. Wow, I thought. That was apparently the most depressing conversation that ever occurred in the history of man. While I wanted to ask so very desperately, I was mad at Sora ever more and the cold shoulder was what he was going to get.
The day progressed with Sora whining after me to answer him, of which I never did. Not after he lied to me and refused to tell me what he was doing in my house, in my closet. I think any normal, decent human being would feel obligated to give an explanation but Sora was some exception to that rule. The day ended without an exchange of words between us. Kairi walked home with me.
"Riku?" She chimed in sheepishly, my brain already knowing what she was going to say. "Sora went home crying." Well, I thought I knew... While I hadn't wanted that, I didn't say anything of it. "Riku? Did you hear me?"
"Yes," I replied. "I heard you, Kairi." She grabbed my arm to stop me from walking and for a normally weak girl, she had a good grip. "What?" I asked calmly.
"How could you just ignore that? He's your best friend, Riku, so I'll say it one more time: Sora went home crying." The look of determination on her face was overwhelming but I did not let it overturn my resolve. She hadn't stopped squeezing my arm yet, either. But that strong hold didn't last long when I jerked my arm back from her. She looked surprised. "Riku..."
"Look. Sora made me mad and he deserved to be ignored. That's that." I finalized and continued walking. Kairi wasn't coming with me that time.
"You should pay more attention to your surroundings, RIKU!" She screamed after me and stomped off toward her own house. That was a good way to stop me if anything. Curious choice of words for someone to shout at you with. I carried on home.
Getting there felt like some kind of reward, as if I was never going to see my home again after being tired all day and Kairi tearing me down every chance she had. In the end, I was angry with both of them. Sora for playing games in my room and Kairi for apparently defending that cause. I'm sure Sora told her about it. My bed felt particularly wonderful beneath me, the day's fatigue grinding me into a complete burnout. I couldn't remember what I had even learned that day besides never to go to school on my birthday without a helmet. Kairi was good for shoving things hard at your face. In more ways than one.
I took a short nap, about a couple of hours, and woke up to Kairi's cries at the end of my dream. Her odd words strolling on through my ears:
"You should pay more attention to your surroundings, RIKU!"
This caused me to start looking around my room again. Something had to be missing. Kairi obviously knew about it. All logic would point in that direction, combining her words and Sora's actions. ... Nothing had changed. Everything I moved about and tore apart was still the same as I had left it, no items missing... at least, nothing important. I slumped back onto my mattress and clasped my hands together in my lap. What the Hell could have been missing, I wondered. What detail was I overlooking in my room? I was being observant beyond blinding belief and yet Kairi's words had no purpose or meaning, as far as I was concerned. Maybe she had been saying that so I'd notice Sora. It was fine to agree on that idea but I wasn't satisfied with it.
So another few hours of making sure nothing was gone had gone to waste and my bed was my final option yet again. Lying there, staring at my ceiling with continuing despisal. The fruition of my thoughts had never come to be so suffocating myself with my pillow was the only way to soothe my pulsating veins in my temples. Nothing was missing. I really held nothing too precious in my room. Nothing worth stealing. What I didn't understand, as I heard my clock ring from striking midnight (Had the time passed so quickly?), was why Sora would get so upset that I ignored him over a lack of explanation and quite possibly him having stolen something from me? Don't you think I'd have a reason to be upset?
My birthday shot by me rather quickly. I had completely forgotten I was one year older, even as I fiddled with the gift Kairi bought me: my silver necklace. It was really beautiful for a chain and I became fond of it almost immediately when I had it in my hands. Probably the best gift Kairi ever got for me. I sat up to take a better look at it and a thought snuck up behind me and smashed me on the head.
Every year, as I have come to known Sora, he has always forgotten my birthday or ended up a day late on giving me a present. It seemed that this particular birthday had been no different. Could that have been why he was upset? Maybe he thought that's why I had been ignoring him. ... No, that didn't make sense. Sora did it every year and it never bothered me before. He should know better than that. But, then again, it's Sora. As far as clumsy goes, deranged is probably a close second. Could my birthday have something to do with him being in my room, I thought. But why would he steal something for my birthday? That's a bit counter productive and I don't think Sora is that stupid.
I felt a small boil at my feet. Bubbling up very slowly, growing hotter and hotter till it fizzled in my stomach. It swirled upward, clawing and frothing, till he drowned my sight and suffocated my senses all at once. The heat pushed me to my feet and my eyes began to look anew. Sora... wasn't in my room to steal something. No, he was - !
I saw it then. It had been on my desk that whole time: A box and a note. They didn't stand out much, the box plain with a small red ribbon and the note just a piece of loose-leaf you'd do homework on hiding under it. I approached it like a bomb and gingerly made to undo the ribbon as such. As the sash slid off, I turned my fascination away from the box to read the letter instead. It was sloppy, as expected, but Sora looked like he tried hard to be neat.
Dear Riku,
Hey, man! Can ya read this? Sorry. I wanted to be on time this year so I came over while you were gone to leave this here. Of course, I'm hoping you're going to be gone as I write this but I have everything planned so it should work. Anyway, I hope this is a nice surprise. It's nothing fabulous but I put a lot of thought into it and... I'm really embarrassed. What's inside that box has more meaning than I think I've ever let on. You know me... I can't ever say what I wanna. I just don't want to be here when you open it. I don't think I could handle it. I'll see you at school tomorrow, though. Maybe if Kairi's there, I won't be so terrified.
You're getting oooooolllllllldddddddd! Geezer! Riku the old man. Hair and all!
See you!
Sora
I was stunned. How did I not notice that in my room? Was I that busy looking for something to be empty rather than a spot to be full? And I had been calling Sora names along the lines of 'stupid', not realizing the hypocrisy in all of it. I turned back to the box and opened it up. Unlike Kairi, Sora cut to the chase and left the item unhidden. I pulled it out carefully, heeding my own strength, and stared very long and hard at what he had to offer.
A paopu fruit.
"Holy crap," I murmured and put it down on my desk. The piece of fruit was as good as a declaration of marriage for most people, its mysterious power of binding souls and all that junk unforgotten over the years. The stories are ridiculous and I never believed in them but for Sora to give that to me apparently meant a lot to him. By his words in his letter and the stammering disregard he proposed to me with the day before... I was having a difficult time accepting it.
I wasn't able to deny his feelings to myself but being able to return them? Entirely different story. I pulled the chair out from my desk and sat in it, putting the food before me to study. I was getting worked up over a simple star-shaped piece of mush, perhaps looking too far into it. Maybe Sora was joking and... took my reaction at school badly. Or worse, if he was serious, he might've taken it as me being offended. Was I offended? Slightly. He could've did it a better way, for one, and two... Well, I wasn't sure. I felt more offended he couldn't just tell me to my face.
And I began to muse. I felt the same way I had when Sora was lying to my face in the closet. I felt offended he couldn't tell me. In turn, I completely overreacted. But that doesn't mean anything like love! Anyone would be hurt to be lied to, after all. I'm not different from anyone else.
The deeper the turmoil dug, the more I pondered. I wasn't different from anyone else. What was I doing? I was panicking. What? Was I afraid to love a boy? No. Boys are people, too. I'm not afraid to be a fag - I mean, No! I was... terribly confused. I wanted to go to Sora's house and just beat the Hell out of him. I wanted to hit him over and over for giving me that stupid fruit. I wanted to just hit him right in the face, right between the eyes!
Would it fix anything? No, but I'd feel better. So I grabbed the fruit and off I went.
I used to read stories about irrational behavior to situations such as this. I had come to an understanding with those people. This was humiliating to me. Did everyone else at school know? Did everyone think I was gay? Probably! Sora probably told them all and I was the only one left oblivious to what was going on. That idiot! What an idiot. But it was fine. He was going to get what he had coming for doing something like this. His house wasn't too far from mine and accessing it was even easier. Climb of a tree and I was in his window, which was wide open. Convenient.
I started to crawl inside, juicy star in my grip, and I reached over to shake the boy sleeping on his bed. When he spun around in fright to see what was burglarizing his room, I found my heart settling slightly. Maybe it was better to hear him out... For about ten seconds.
I shoved the item in his face and he slinked away from it so as not to get smacked. "The fruit!" He whispered excitedly so no one else heard. It was late; I had forgotten. He frowned slightly and looked up at me. Those glowing eyes of his suddenly seducing my hate caught me off guard. "Uhm... You didn't like it, right?"
"Is it a joke?" I asked. Sora turned his nose down and I snapped. I fell through the window onto his bed and grabbed a chunk of his hair in my hand, tearing at it to get him closer. He cried out briefly but my hand over his mouth fixed that. "Answer me." He shook his head and I let him go free. "Who else knows about this?"
"Kairi, sort of," He hugged his knees to his chest, showing terror in my shadow. I was starting to feel ashamed of myself with him cowering like that. "I wanted to be on time this year but... Maybe I should've waited one more year to give that to you. I knew I wasn't ready for this." In my rage, it was the most selfish words I could hear out of his mouth. I tried to keep as calm as I could regardless. Most. Difficult. Task. Ever.
"Sora," I tried. "Tell me what you feel about me." He looked up, horrified. "If you can't tell me, I won't be able to be your friend anymore. I'll lose respect for you." There. I figured he couldn't argue with that. By his silence, he was trying to but failed. One point, get. "Tell me now."
"Give me a second!" he snorted. "Do you know what it's like to gather the words to say something?"
"I don't care. Just come out with it!"
"Riku, but I - !"
"Out with it, Sora! SAY IT!"
I leaned back. I put my hands behind me to keep myself from caving under the weight. My legs slid their way down around Sora's body but sprung back up with unexplainable reaction. I closed my eyes. I absorbed everything going through me and evaluated it with the utmost care. My actions following this endeavor were going to tie the ends on this relationship once and for all. Where we stood was all up to me. How was I going to respond? How would I respond to the warmth of my best friend's lips coursing over mine, aligning and filling in the blanks for me? Would I choose the most negative road possible and beat him to a bloody stump or accept it with a smile and even give a nice hug in return? What I would do, I wondered. What on Earth could I possibly do now?
My body did a lot of the speaking for me. Sora's figure against mine was small and skinny, enough to just snap in half with a bear hug from Hell. However I enjoyed it. I told my body "no", but it laughed at my foolish mind and said "yes." He took Sora for all he had, pulling him in closer and making my lips move on their own, deepening against his like a hot potato sinking into three feet of snow. My breath, when I drew back, was sharp and unforgiving but it craved more. Ah, such is the life of two teenagers in a dark room on a bed together in the middle of the night.
I lifted the paopu fruit in my hand and bit into it, leaving a blushing Sora absolutely clueless as to what I was trying to say. When I shoved it toward his mouth, I think he was even more lost.
"Stupid," I said. "Bite it." His eyes lit up and, with a sheepish nod, he did as instructed. When he had swallowed what was in his mouth, he laid on me like a pleased rag doll in a warm, lazy afternoon. I laid down on his bed and let him melt on top of me like hot fudge on ice cream. It was actually pretty nice. I went from confused to angry to somehow madly in love. At least I think it was love. I couldn't say for sure just yet but I was going to have to figure it out with the rest of eternity now, wasn't I?
Oh, the mess I made. Carelessly but happy to do so. Fingers tangled in Sora's hair, I closed my eyes and demanded him to give me all he had.
We were young. Foolish. I was foolish. I didn't think I'd let a piece of fruit take things so far. Yet they soared over the mountain, ran across the winds and scattered in a thousand directions before I even knew what was happening to us. It was pleasant, his fingers embedded between my own, my hair stuck to my back and his on his red forehead and puffy cheeks. Beautiful. Unforgettable.
"Sora," I mumbled and pulled him close to me again, even as he writhed in pain, whimpered in pleasure, the small bit of drool dancing with sweat from the corner of his lips as he choked on ecstasy. "Will we remember this tomorrow? Or is this the first and last time?" He started crying. Well, I had to ask but he did answer me.
"Even if you forget it, I'll remember for us," He dug his nails in my back. "This time and the next. Forever." So much reliance on the binding of the star fruit. "I promise."
"That's a bit careless," He screamed into my shoulder as I took interest in his flesh. "But I'll agree to it. I won't forget... I'll pay more attention to my surroundings this time, too. Okay? I promise." I don't think he understood what I was talking about but I didn't mind it very much. Whether I liked it or not, I allowed us to be stuck together. I guess I was gay. I guess this is how it had to be. Some things just can't be helped, after all. I loved Sora. I did. I bit that stupid fruit and made him bite it too so he'd understand what I was trying to say. My body reacted, sure, but my mind agreed. I wanted this and I was content with that. It was fine. Everything, up until I started crying, was fine. Perfectly fine.
"Riku...?"
Fiiiiiin. wtf.
