Vivien sat at the marble bench of the kitchen that smelt of bleach and detergent. With the imminent impossibility of suffering any consequences of using harsh chemicals, her old organic ways were out of the window. She drummed her fingernails against the polished surface and watched birds sweep their way across the framed never-ending movie that played through her double glazed windows. As often as she stood in the golden sun that streamed through, Vivien couldn't seem to heat up the constant cold that clung to her skin.
Ben moved though the doorframe and placed his callused hands on her shoulders. "Good morning, beautiful." She moved her head to face him, forcing the corners of her mouth into a smile.
"Have you seen Violet lately, Ben?" Her gaze fell onto the grey cardigan that hung from a hook on the wall. "I called for her last night, I think she is avoiding me."
"I wish I could say I had. You understand her better than I ever will, Viv." He rubbed her arms, noticing the goose bumps that prickled along her limbs. "Maybe we should just give her some time."
Vivien let a sigh escape her lips. "I'm so sick of waiting." She closed her eyes to think. "I've been waiting for years, but nothing has changed. It's just the same old life repeating itself time after time and I find myself questioning my sanity." She lay her hands on Ben's. "I dream of life in this house. Lighting the fire and curling up watching a movie on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Violet stroking Hallie on the couch, her little brother learning to tie his shoe laces." Her tone changed. "But that can never happen, Ben. Jeffrey is going to remain a day old, Violet will bare her scars forever, and us? We will have restless nights and no sleep for all eternity."
"You know I used to want to live forever?" Ben pulled out a stool next to his wife and sat down. "As a boy, I dreamed of hover boards and laser guns. We won't ever truly die, sure we are buried in the ground, but we definitely are not resting in peace. What happens when this place gets demolished? Will we just never show ourselves, trapped on the block of land that was the biggest mistake of our lives?" He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together.
Vivien exhaled slowly, feeling the burning sensation of threatening tears pull at the backs of her eyes. "Violet will never get married. She will never have children. You will never get to coach Jeffrey's soccer team, or drop him off at his first day of school." Their eyes locked. "We have to move on from all of that, as much as it eats away at you. Dreaming about 'what could have been' isn't healthy." Her eyes drifted to the sunlight dancing bench top. "I should know, you know? Being trapped in here with Hayden was something out of a horror story, but it happened and I can't change that."
"I'm so sorry," Vivien interrupted his daily attempt of an apology.
"Let's not talk about that, I just wanted to put it out there." She smiled. "Maybe there's something nice we can do, bring some energy into this dark place."
He reached for her hands. "Maybe light some candles? Play some Frank Sinatra, have a glass of wine."
"Sounds perfect."
Moira entered the room rubbing a red washer against the wooden cabinets. The couple stopped speaking, content with the result of their conversation. "I'm sorry, if you would prefer for me to work on a different room just say." She turned and moved the towel between her fingers.
"Oh, no Moira. Feel free to do as you please." Vivien stood. "Are you completely sure that you are alright? Lately you seem to be rushing and working an awful lot." She walked over to the deep red haired woman.
"Thank you for your concern, Vivien. I however am not stressed or worried in the slightest. If anything I feel that something great is about to happen. I get this way sometimes, and I apologise for any strain I have caused you. If you wan't me to stop I will." She brushed the dust from her skirt. "There is just something comforting in doing what I do. I have a purpose, something to live for."
She nodded, "Yes, Jeffrey brings some meaning into our lives. Please, take a break and have some tea with Ben and I." She walked over to the kettle and switched it on.
"If you insist." She folded the washer and placed it on the bench top. Moira proceeded in pulling three mugs from the cabinet and lining them up next to Vivien. "If you don't mind me asking, have you received any word on Michael? I spotted Constance walking with him up the road, but of course felt no desire to stop them."
She poured some steaming water into the mugs and placed tea bags inside. "Well, I know that he is now home schooled by Constance. God knows how long that will last. The school started commenting on his rapid growth and she didn't feel that sending him back there was in his best interest." She shook her head. "I just don't know how to feel about that child. Looking into his eyes is looking into an old soul, I know that he is far beyond his years and capable of plenty."
"The missing nanny, I don't know about both of you but I know that something happened to her in that house. People don't just disappear." Ben took his tea from Vivien.
"Take it from me, Constance is keeping secrets. I am one of them after all. She will do no good for that child, I just pray that the pair of them leave this state and don't return." Moira sipped at the steaming golden liquid.
The room felt so empty to Violet. The shutters were closed, the murky green blue walls daunted in on the dark furniture that once provided such comfort to her. She sat on her rug by the foot of her bed, reading magazines that had been delivered wrongly to her instead of the girl next door.
Trending nail colours, new textures for winter, celebrity gossip - it was all bullshit to her. Just a waste of time and effort that just changed every season and repeated every year. Yet when there was nothing better to do she found herself flicking through the glossy pages. She admired the clean edge of each page, fingering the corner until it formed a slit in her skin. The red shine that bubbled out of the cut calmed her. There was something beautiful in the simplicity of blood. It doesn't change as you age, not that Violet ever would, it just continues to sustain your life until the point that it stops pumping. She wished everything could be that way, sturdy and never changing.
For the past few days whenever someone tried to speak to her she flicked the switch and hid herself. What's better than pretending you disappeared when you wish you could but can't? No one could penetrate the iron exterior she put up after the crap her family put her through. Not her mother, not her father, not the boy she gave her heart and soul to. Her feelings were under lock and key, and will remain that way until god knows when.
She licked the blood off of her already healed cut and moved to her bed, staring at the painted ceiling. She drifted off into sleep, finding her cheeks damp against her pillow.
"Violet?" Vivien spoke softly as she pushed on the door to her daughter's room. Her heart slowed as she saw a girl wrapped in a blanket lying on her bed. She walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. Vivien brushed the hair that fell over Violet's face behind her ear. "Oh my girl, I have missed you so much. Don't you ever leave me again." She stroked the pale cheek that was lit up by the morning sun. Violet's eyes began to open and she started to stir.
"Mom?" She pushed herself away. "Shit, you weren't supposed to see me!"
"Hey, hey." Vivien patted the space beside her, Violet declining the invitation to move next to her. "I won't tell anyone, don't worry. As long as I know you're alright."
"Whatever," She got up and moved over to her desk. "Oh, and for your information, I'm not alright. You know I saw leah the other day? Yeah, she was just standing at the gate, looking up into the house." Her mother drew her lips into a sympathetic line. "I go through crap too." Then she faded away until the space that she filled was as clear as glass.
Vivien stood. "Well, I know you can still hear me. I'm sorry about your friend. And I understand that this, uh, lifestyle is not ideal. But your father and I have to live with it too, hun. We go through the same struggles as you and it hurts to see you this way." She walked over to the door and turned around, noticing that leave was printed on the black board. "I love you." She stated, paused then closed the door.