precious_passenger: Hello guys, we couldn't stand to make you wait any longer, after the teaser we posted on "Stolen Hearts... and Condoms". So, here is the first chapter of what we like to call American Shenanigans.

WasteNoTime: It's going to be a short multi-chapter this time because it was getting too long.

precious_passenger: This story has a funny background and that is...

WasteNoTime: I have no idea what you are talking about *glances innocently* Fiiine, so we challenged ourselves a bit with this story. We chose setting - McKinley, and the main idea of the story - an exchange student. That's all. So when Precious starts writing her part... I have no idea what she is going to do with it!

precious_passenger: Yeah, and that was the best and the most annoying part. If you think writing is hard, try doing it with WasteNoTime when she's having one of those adventurous days. I don't think I have any nails left, I bit them all from stress and horror!

WasteNoTime: What? Slander! She is sooo lying, don't ever believe her, guys! Just ask anyone... Um, you probably don't care about this, do you? You know, Precious, I think it's time to start the ribbon-cutting ceremony and announce the beginning of this story. What do you say, little one?

precious_passenger: I think that's a wise idea before we drive everyone away with the monstrous AN... We sound like the Weasley twins here... Anyway, we present you: the first chapter of Blaine Anderson's American Shenanigans!

Both: ENJOY! *evil laughter*

Chapter 1

Blaine smiled widely when he entered his new school. He had never thought he would be excited about going to school, let alone one where he knew nobody, but this time was different. It wasn't just a school that was new for him, it was a whole country, a continent even. He had suffered the summer passing extra slowly but he had finally made it there.

He had arrived to the States a couple of days before the academic year began so he could get used to the different time zones as well as the family that would be hosting him for the whole year. Those few days weren't enough, not really, but he didn't let his tiredness get in a way of enjoying this new experience.

With some difficulty he found the principal's office and sat down by the door waiting for the man to come admit him. He heard some music getting louder and louder and soon some boy with his iPod playing at maximum volume came in and sat down next to him.

Blaine took the opportunity. "Hello," he said with a thick accent.

The boy looked at him and snarled, "Whacha looking at, weirdo?"

"I am looking at you?" Blaine asked in confusion but decided to shake it off, feeling like he might've missed something. The difference in their cultures was huge so he didn't want to assume anything too soon. "My name Blaine Anderson. Who are you?" he asked, feeling proud of himself for making his first friend in the new school before he even started going to classes.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" the boy replied, angry for some reason.

"I am Blaine Anderson," he stated, trying to pronounce the words again more carefully in case he had been misheard. Having an accent might be more of a difficulty than he had originally thought, judging by this boy's behaviour.

"I heard you the first time, fancy," the boy spat, making Blaine flinch. "You a newbie?"

It took Blaine several moments but he still couldn't figure out what the boy meant. "Yes, I am new student but I not understand what a 'new bee' mean? I'm Italiano, my English not too good."

"Well, Mr. Macaroni," the boy smirked at the cute nickname he had given to Blaine. He then stood up, towering Blaine. "You see this letterman jacket?" he asked, pointing at the red jacket he was wearing. Blaine thought it was a hideous article of clothing but kept his opinion for himself.

"Yes, it say letter M. Is it customary for Americanos dressing as superheroes? Should it not say L instead of M? Superman has S," Blaine looked at him, bewildered, still unsure how this would go and why the boy was cosplaying at school. Maybe they had a superhero club in the school, that would be fun.

The bulky boy sighed loudly. "This is worse than detention," he groaned sitting back down. "Just don't talk, alright? You're giving me a headache."

Blaine held off the question when he saw the menacing look the boy was sending his way. He tried making out the lyrics he was forced to listen to with the boy's iPod playing so loudly and also, Blaine noticed, with no use of headphones. He thought it was pretty rude to force others to listen to music when maybe they didn't feel like it. But, maybe society rules in this country were different.

When a somewhat enjoyable song came on the boy's iPod Blaine was a bit disappointed that the principal showed up and he had to go in but moments later the feeling disappeared as the anticipation of starting the classes soon took over.

He had spent good fifteen minutes taking care of the paperwork with the principal, Mr. Figgins, and soon got his exchange student folder filled with his timetable as well as some other papers he didn't care much at that moment.

"Have the nice day," Blaine said to his new friend and left.

He walked to his newly assigned locker and tried to open it. He didn't understand why they couldn't have had a key instead of this weird combination lock.

"Look, fresh meat," he heard someone say and tried to think of why this person was surprised, maybe they didn't get fresh food often. "Let's give him McKinley's welcome."

Oh, silly me, they mean me! Blaine smiled thinking he was about make some more new friends so he turned around, his hand extended to offer a handshake or maybe a friendly pat on the back. But, instead he was hit with a sticky substance straight to his face.

Was the water in America sticky? Blaine thought idly, before remembering that he had drunk plenty of water in the house he lived in now and none of them had stuck to his face, nor was it this cold... or sweet. Blaine began trembling as he felt the sticky drink finding its way down to his underwear. He squirmed in his place uncomfortably as the boys moved past him, each shoving him with their shoulders. Blaine slid over the puddle on the floor from the force of the shoves and fell on his ass.

Blaine liked to think that he was a optimistic person. All his friends in Italy used to say that his bright outlook on life was envious. But, right now, he couldn't help but curl his knees to his chest and long for his old school back at home. He ignored the weird looks the students were giving him and indulged a bit more in his pity party. Maybe the boy he'd met first, the letterman had been right, he should stop showing interest in people.

He didn't let himself sit in the cold puddle for long. Standing up took some effort but soon he was back on his feet, grabbing his wet folder and trying to locate a bathroom so he could clean himself up. He rounded a corner when, he almost did a happy dance, he saw a girl covered in a similar drink, only of a different colour. She must have been new just like him, Blaine thought. Maybe it was their initiation. Now that made sense. Why would anyone attack him with mean intentions when he had done nothing wrong? And one of the boys did say that the drink meant McKinley's welcome.

With newly found happiness and excitement that McKinely now saw him as one of their own Blaine walked over to the girl who was trying to wipe the drink off her face.

"Hi," he said. "Are you exchange student too? Where you are from?"

The girl looked him up and down with amusement. "I'm from Lima Heights. Are you from the Shire, hobbit?"

Blaine always liked hobbits, they were friendly and adventurous just like him. It was also nicer than being called Mr. Macaroni so he nodded.

"I have hairy leg but there is not hair on my foots," he announced proudly, glad to meet someone who knew about Lord of Rings, his favourite saga. It was one of his go to books to read when he was feeling down and even the mention of it cheered him up.

"Eew. Well, good thing that I'm already grossed out by boys. I like my girls smooth and clean shaved," the girl snapped.

It took a few moments, in which Blaine stared, rather dumbly, at the girl to decipher what she meant.

"I shaved today?" he said, almost in a question. Blaine had always been a top student in his English class, but the way they spoke in this school was so different than what he'd read in books.

"I mean, I'm dyke," she said and before Blaine could introduce himself with, 'Hello, Dyke. I'm Blaine', she clarified, "lesbiano, you idiot, so you better stay away from these," she pointed at her breasts.

"Well," Blaine said with equal sass, "I'm a gay so you better stay from this," he pointed at the front of his pants, causing the girl to burst laughing and she patted his shoulder.

"I like you for whatever mysterious reason," the girl said. "Let's go get you cleaned up," she said pushing him towards the girls' bathroom.

"I cannot go in there," Blaine's eyes widened in horror. What if he got expelled for being inappropriate? They would send him back to Italy and disqualify his Visa.

"Stop fidgeting," the girl let out an annoyed sigh as they finally entered the bathroom. "Get your head under the faucet."

"Under... a what?" Blaine looked at her, confused.

The girl pointed at the sink. "I. will. wash. your. hair, hobbit," she said slowly, demonstrating every single word with movements.

"I am Blaine Anderson," the boy introduced himself when he lowered his head into the sink, thinking that the girl was using the nickname only because she didn't know his name.

"Don't care," she said and Blaine felt cold water running over his head.

"What's... your... name?" the boy slurped, water running into his mouth and a little bit into his nose.

"Santana Lopez," the girl responded.

"Nice to meet you," Blaine said and tried to extend his hand to shake hers but only grabbed air. "You did not answer the country you are from."

The girl tugged painfully on his hair. "My family came here many years ago, but originally we're from Mexico."

"Oh, so you are not new student?" Blaine asked and Santana shook her head, before realizing that he couldn't see her so she replied with a 'no'.

"So, why did those boys throw drinks at you?" Blaine asked, confused. "I thought it is initiation of new people."

"Well, you're awfully naive, aren't you?" Santana responded and then sighed, "You chose a messed up school to spill your fairy dust on. The jocks are going to eat you alive."

When she realized Blaine didn't understand what she meant, she dropped the sarcasm, which was as rare as it was for Principal Figgins to drop his pants in the middle of the school.

"Look, Blaine," she said, getting the last bits of ice out of his curls. "This school is a hard place to survive. If you are different, you'll be treated like garbage. And you're like..." Santana ruffled his hair trying to get her point across the thick mop, "really really different."

"What should I do?" Blaine asked, helpless as the droplets of water dripped on his clothes when he stood up.

"Have courage," Santana told him, "and stick with the other freaks."

Blaine wanted to ask what she was talking about but for once decided to pretend he understood what was going on.

He began washing out the sticky drink out of the girl's hair wondering what he should do to become friends with these freaks Santana told him about, and for starters, how to find them.

AN: So, what do you think?

If you have any requests for Blaine's adventures or have a prompt for a one-shot, send them our way!