Title: Something Wicked
Author: A. Windsor
Pairing/Characters: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. My one year of law school could allow me to legalese this a little more, but it also tells me it's pretty useless. So please don't sue; it's not mine, I'm just playing!
Series: Thing!verse
Summary: The Robbins-Torres family does Halloween. [October 2026]
Author's Note: A holiday Thing!verse fic ON TIME. I can't believe it. Beta'd by the wonderful, snarky, weirdy reindeer roughian.
She loves her kids, she really does.
Except for when they insist on changing into their Halloween costumes in her office while listening and dancing to pounding reggaeton.
Okay, maybe it is pretty cute when three-and-half-year-old Teo is shaking his cute little butt while decked out in his Cowardly Lion costume, face paint and all. But still pretty annoying, too.
"Momma, my braids, please," seven-year-old Caroline whines.
"Hold your horses. Or your little stuffed dog, as it were," Arizona laughs at her own joke, bumping spinning Lena out of her chair and pulling Caroline and her gingham dress into her lap.
"Lena-bug, can you get me a brush so I can do Dorothy's braids?"
"Yes'm."
"And make sure Tiny Dancer's tail is still attached, please."
The ten-year-old salutes to acknowledge her further orders.
"Momma, can you check my paint when you're done? Please?" Asa asks from the wall mirror where he is applying liberal amounts of silver face paint to complete his cardboard Tin Man outfit he, Lena, and Callie have been working on all week. For all his complaints of a themed Halloween, he put a diligent effort into preparing his costume. She worries next year they won't be able to overcome his objections, and the grand tradition of a Robbins-Torres Halloween theme may be lost.
Callie says he's too old now at thirteen anyway.
"Sure thing, bubba," Arizona assures him as Lena delivers the hairbrush. "Thanks, baby girl."
"No prob, bob. Um, ma'am."
Arizona starts to run the brush through Cari's silky locks.
"Tell me if they're too tight, okay?"
"Kay," the six-year-old agrees.
"Are you ready, my pretty?"
"Momma," Cari complains. "You're not thatwitch."
"Oh, sorry," Arizona giggles, catching eye of Lena and Teo totally rocking out to some Shakira-sound-alike and her rapping boyfriend. She is raising such dorks, though they're not without their rhythm.
"Hey there, Glinda."
Arizona looks up to see Callie watching their antics from the doorway, leaning, cross-armed, against the doorframe.
"Elphaba, you're late. And not green yet."
"Hey, Mami," Teo greets, tripping over his own tail on his way to hug the Wicked Witch of the West. "¿Dónde esta tu sombrero?" [Where's your hat?]
"I had it for safe keeping," Arizona assures their youngest. "It's over on the couch. Can you help Mami find it?"
As Teo scrambles around, searching for the pointed hat, Callie comes over to kiss her overly pink wife.
"How did we let Lena talk us into all of this?" Arizona asks.
"We never should've taken her to see Wicked."
"I know!" Arizona exclaims. "She's still devastated that Elphie and Glinda didn't ride off into the sunset together."
"I'm surprised she agreed to be the Scarecrow after that."
"Aren't we all? Don't bring it up now, though. No last minute costume changes."
"Mami, you're not green," Lena complains, arriving with an adorable pout, an askew straw hat, and a painted triangle nose.
"I can't put my paint on yet, Lena-nena. I've got a surgery."
"Mami..." "Calliope..."
It's twin reproaches and twin pouts, and the double force is almost unbearable. Even if her daughter has straw sticking out of her hair and her wife is wearing an excessively pink and sparkly ball gown.
"I'll go to the Peds ward paint-less, and then, after my surgery, I'll come home green to trick or treat. Okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," Lena agrees, drifting off to nag Asa about some part of his costume.
"That's cutting it awfully close," Arizona comments.
"I'll be home, okay?" Callie promises with a kiss. "She's really excited about this, isn't she?"
"She just really loves Wicked right now."
Callie arches an eyebrow with a grin.
"Stop it! She is ten years old. She has little to no defined sexuality."
"I'm just saying. The signs are there."
Arizona shakes her head; it's an old disagreement.
"We've never not gone trick or treating as a family," she opts for the newer argument.
"And we'll do it tonight, too, Arizona, don't worry. Now don't we have a party to get to? Patients to wow, pictures to take."
"But if your surgery runs late-"
"It won't, baby, stop."
"Tu sombrero, Mami," Teo interrupts, hitting Callie's legs with a full force hug/tackle.
"Oof. Gracias, m'ijo."
She sets the pointed cap on her head and then wrangles the lion cub onto her hip.
"I like your whiskers," she says, pressing a kiss to one of the few clean spots on his cheek.
"I like your hat," Teo echoes. "My Asa did my whiskers."
"My Momma bought my hat," Callie follows suit. Teo nods the acceptance of that information. "Are you ready for Momma's peds party?"
"Yep! Will Roxie be there?"
"Who's Roxie?"
"Mi new amiga." [My new friend.]
Callie looks to Arizona.
"Age four, early stage lymphoma, they share a love of the color purple and chicken quesadillas," Arizona recites with a thumbs up for Teo. "She's super nice, and sometimes her parents have to work on the same day, so Teo kept her company for a little bit yesterday so she wouldn't be lonely. They watched a bit of Dora, and Nurse Tyra played Go Fish with them."
"Okay..."
"Tomorrow, I'm gonna take the rest of her tumor out and she's probably gonna be all better."
Teo grins and Callie gives him a smile. Dr. Robbins's babies are a fixture of the SGMW peds ward, but they walk a fine line between helping the sick tiny humans and traumatizing their own healthy ones.
"Momma?"
"Tiny Dancer?"
"Let's go to the party. Please."
"You got it."
In Dr. Robbins's peds ward, Halloween works in reverse. The nurses, the doctors, and the Robbins-Torres kids all dress up and go from hospital room door to hospital room door, but instead of asking for candy, the traditional "trick or treat" is an offer of either goofy talents and jokes or a plethora of sweets, according to each patient's ability (although Dr. Robbins and her own babies have been known to munch on those sweets while distributing them). Afterwards, all the mobile patients meet up in the playroom to compare stories and dance to a little "Monster Mash".
Their arrival is, of course, expected, but their yearly themed costumes get a round of applause from Arizona's delighted nurses. Last year they'd been their favorite Mario Kart characters, the year before chickens (over Callie's strong objections), and the year before that, Teo's first Halloween, they'd been Things One through Four, with their moms both dressed as the Cat in the Hat.
A few of the other surgeons, at Arizona's nagging, have gamely put in appearances. The most notable (especially to smitten little Lena) is Teddy, dressed in ruby slippers and striped stockings as the infamous Wicked Witch of the East, or Wicked's Nessa Rose, complete with her own chubby little Munchkinlander Nicholas on her hip. Nicky gives his best roar at the sight of Teo.
"Hey, that's my job," Mateo complains, stopping short at his Aunt Teddy's feet and looking up at his best friend.
"Sowwy," Nicky says quickly.
"S'okay."
Teddy puts Nicky down, and the boys wander to a corner of the playroom to talk about three-year-old things.
"Asa," Arizona calls for their eldest. "Will you-?" She looks to the little boys.
"Yes, ma'am," the seventh-grader sighs, off to do his duty, cardboard costume swishing with his movements.
"You guys look great. But, Callie, you're not-"
"Green, I know," Callie holds up a hand to stave off the nagging. "I am well aware. Miss Lena has already lodged a complaint."
Speaking of, the ten-year-old, seeing her Sloan and Shepherd partners in crime are not in attendance, immediately returns to her parents' side.
"Aunt Teddy, you look great!" she gushes.
"Thanks, Lena-baby. Want to go get some punch with me? What did you do at school today?"
The two wander off, and Callie just grins at her little mini-Arizona.
"Not a word," Arizona warns before Callie can make a comment about their daughter's crush.
The reverse trick-or-treating is a hit, as always, with little Teo especially eating up the limelight with some lively singing and dancing with his oldest sister. Those two are incorrigible hams, and their rendition of "Thriller" is freaking hilarious.
It's a good time had by all, except maybe for the hostess and her wife. Callie's pager keeps going off, and Arizona keeps glaring at her as she sneaks off to a phone to see what's up. When she's making one such stalling call, Arizona's pouting is interrupted by Alex and Caroline.
"Dude, your kid called me lame."
"Uncle Alex, you're not lame; vampires are lame."
"You're six."
Caroline, arms crossed over her gingham chest, shrugs.
"Thing Three, be sweet to your godfather. Karev, vampires are pretty lame, and you are an especially lame vampire. That blood is very fake."
"I didn't wanna scare the kids!"
"Mhmm."
"Whatever, you're a cotton candy fairy princess."
"She's Glinda. The Good Witch," Caroline duhs, unwrapping a Hershey bar.
"How many is that?"
Caroline shrugs again.
"Well, be careful on the candy intake, Sweet Caroline. You don't want to be sick for tonight."
"Yes, ma'am."
"If you're, uh, monitoring candy intake, you might wanna intervene over there," Alex notes dryly.
In the direction he indicates, Teo has found an unguarded candy bowl and is tearing into it.
"Oh crap."
Caroline giggles as her momma runs over to the little Cowardly Lion.
"Oh, Tiny Dancer, don't you think that's enough candy?"
Teo shakes his head, fluffy mane flying. "Nope! Me gusta!"
"I bet you do, but you have to save some for everyone else, okay?"
"No!"
"Yes, Teo."
"No!"
Arizona sighs and physically lifts him out of his array of candy. "Do you need a time out, Mateo?"
On the brink of a sugar-high temper tantrum, Teo slumps against her shoulder. "No..."
"No, what?"
"No, ma'am, Momma," Teo intones, tantrum seemingly avoided for now.
"Okay. You gotta save room for your candy tonight, bubba."
"Tengo room!" [I have room!]
"Mhmm. And let's keep it that way." Arizona checks her watch. "How about you do me a favor?"
"Okay, Momma."
"Go round up your brother and sisters? We have to get home for dinner so we can go trick or treating."
"What about Mami?"
"I'll get her," Arizona says resolutely.
Teo runs off to perform his task. Arizona knows the probability of him actually staying focused enough to do his duty is slim-to-none, but it keeps him distracted for long enough for Arizona to go yell at her wife a little, and hopefully he'll tell Asa first and the older boy will help him gather their sisters.
She turns around to see Callie guiltily approaching her.
"So, I have to go scrub in. Hopefully I'll be back before trick-or-treating."
"'Hopefully', Calliope?" Arizona demands, arms crossing over her chest.
"If there are no complications, and traffic's okay, and..."
"Why do you have to do it today?"
"It's a life threatening injury, Arizona."
"And your fellow can do that surgery in her sleep, and she would love the OR time. So what the heck is really going on?"
"Nothing! I have to go save someone's life."
"Oh, c'mon."
"Hey, I'm sorry if I'm not superpsyched about the prospect of painting my whole body green and traipsing around in the cold and the wet."
"What? You love Halloween!"
"No, you love Halloween. Lena loves Halloween. I love you two."
"Well then get your butt into green face paint and let's go."
Callie rolls her eyes. "I'll be home, as soon as possible, okay?"
"No, it's really not okay."
"Arizona..."
Arizona sighs, scratching at the itchy neckline of her Glinda dress. "Fine. You tell the kids."
"Fine."
Getting the kids ready for another round of trick-or-treating, all by herself again, was so not on her to-do list today. They're running around wild from their peds ward excitement, and Arizona feels one massive headache coming on.
"Momma, I'm scared," Teo exclaims, hitting his mother's knees at breakneck speed and burrowing his face in Arizona's thigh.
"Oh, bubba, you don't have to be scared; it's okay."
"Lena said 'cobardly' means scared," Teo counters, dropping the frightful act.
"Oh, then by all means, carry on. And it's cowardly, baby."
"Spanglish," Asa provides helpfully. "Where's Mami?"
"Yeah, Mami nos prometió," Lena complains. [Mami promised us.]
"I know, baby girl, and she'll be here, I'm sure," Arizona tries to sound convincing. Lena looks skeptical, and just then Arizona notices Caroline scale the back of the couch. "Caroline Grace, don't even think about it."
Caroline huffs and slides her feet down to the ground, braids bouncing.
"Fine."
"All of you, to the table now," Arizona says, probably a little more briskly than she should.
"What's for dinner?" Caroline asks as she trudges over to her usual spot.
"Yeah, Momma, tengo hambre," Teo adds. [I'm hungry.]
"You're not cooking, are you?" Asa asks, immediately ducking her playful swat at his rump.
"No complaining, or no one eats!" Arizona orders, earning giggles from her brood. There, everyone around a dinner table, that should give her some peace and quiet.
While she's brokering a deal to get Teo and Caroline to pleasejust finish their dinner, she does not catch the beginning of an epic, knock-down, drag-out Lena and Asa brawl. She doesn't care who or what started it, she's sure as heck going to finish it.
"Hey, break it up!"
She stomps over to intervene, but before she can yell or threaten or physically separate them, there's a wrenching tear that stops them both cold. They jump apart, and Lena looks down to the torn neckline of her scarecrow costume in dismay.
"You ruined it!" she cries, and this time Arizona does manage to step in between them and catch her flying daughter. "I hate you. You ruined it!"
"You started it, you little brat!"
"Hey!" Arizona shouts, freezing them both. She continues in a more steady Momma voice. "Enough. Both of you. You are way too old for this crap. Asa, she is half your size; you're going to hurt her. Lena, it is not okay to hit anyone, ever, especially if it is your brother, unless they are trying to hurt you or someone else. And we do not hate in this family, you know that."
"Yes ma'am," they intone. Asa looks ashamed, and Lena looks like she might burst into tears at any minute, looking down at her beloved, ruined costume.
"You both need to give me a good reason why I shouldn't leave you here when we take the little ones trick-or-treating."
"Oh, Momma, please," Lena breaks the dam, big crocodile tears sliding down her face, streaking her face paint. "We can't miss Halloween. I'm sorry!"
"I'm sorry, Momma," Asa echoes.
Arizona sighs. They're getting a little too old to use the time out step effectively on them, and she really just wants to have a nice family Halloween, darn it.
"Apologize to each other."
"I'm sorry I tried to kick your butt, Asa."
"It's okay. I'm sorry, Lena. I didn't mean to mess up your costume."
Lena's tears start over with abandon as she remembers her mess of a costume. Arizona's restraining embrace turns into a warm hug and Arizona sighs away her annoyance.
"Okay, here's what we're going to do. Asa, go get the sewing kit from the junk drawer, the face paint, and some paper towels. We're gonna fix this scarecrow up!"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Oh, and tell your brother and sister we're not going anywhere until those peas are eaten."
"Can you really fix it, Momma?"
"I can! What do I do for a living?"
"Fix tiny humans."
"And how do I do that?" Arizona asks, tugging on Lena's smudged nose.
"By sewing 'em up – oh!"
Arizona smiles at her newly brightened almost middle schooler.
"Exactly, now take that scarecrow shirt off and let's get you patched up."
Ten minutes before they're supposed to be headed out, Arizona makes a call to Callie's cell, getting an automated message. The voicemail she leaves is probably not very nice. At all.
"She's not coming," Asa says knowingly, looking up from his gentle wrestling with their little Cowardly Lion cub on the living room floor.
"What?" Lena demands. "Mami has to come."
Caroline stops what she's doing, too, shoving her stuffed Toto back into her basket. "Why can't Mami come?"
"She had a big surgery, guys, and you know sometimes we just have to stay at the hospital and fix people."
Lena has a full blown pout on, and only Teo looks oblivious, growling and throwing his shoulder into his brother's ribs, causing Asa to let out an "oof" and fall back a little.
"I know it's sad, guys, but maybe she'll catch up," Arizona says, bringing all her extra Dr. Robbins brightness. "So let's get this show on the road, hmm? Let's go do our pictures on the front porch, okay?"
"Oka-ay," Lena says, unenthusiastically, bottom lip still trembling a bit. Arizona wants to take a picture of that to guilt trip her wife with later.
Asa dumps Teo (gently) out of his lap and shoos him towards the door while Arizona gathers their candy bags. They make their way, slowly (like herding cats) out to the front porch, stopping to grab their umbrellas. It's Halloween in Seattle: of course it is raining.
Teo is the first out the door after hauling on his fireman rain boots.
"Don't worry about it, Lena-bug. Everything'll be okay. Think about all the candy," she says to their downtrodden little one.
"Okay..." Lena repeats, adjusting her straw hat. "But Mami's not here."
"I know."
"She's always here."
"I know."
"And we don't have an Elphie! We're not the whole set!"
"I know, baby," Arizona says again.
Outside, Teo exclaims: "Mami!" and Lena visibly brightens, tearing out of her momma's consoling embrace to meet her madre on the porch.
"You made it! And you're green!"
Arizona has a brief pang of resentment that Callie made her do everything and still gets to play the hero, but she pushes that aside to confirm her children's exhuberant exclamations.
"I am green! And we better get me under an umbrella, cause you know what happens if I get wet."
Lena giggles, arms around Callie's middle, and then whispers, "I didn't think you were coming."
"Oh, Leni, disculpame, mija. No lo intenté," Callie soothes. [Oh, Leni, forgive me, baby. I didn't mean it.]
"S'okay," Lena accepts.
"Now let me go say hi to Momma and then we'll get going."
"You're in trouble," Caroline tells her, tugging on one of her Dorothy braids.
Arizona smirks.
"And hello to you, too, Cari," Callie greets dryly.
"Mami, ¿dónde estaba?" Teo asks, tugging on her dress. [Where were you?]
Arizona rolls her eyes at the three-year-old's (lack of) attention span.
"Work, Tiny Dancer."
"Oh. Hi."
"Hi." Callie leans down and kisses him. She finally extricates herself from their mess of kids to make her way over to her wife.
Arizona stands leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, studying her.
"Hey. I am really, really sorry. Today was just... I'm sorry. You were right; this is really important for you and I just totally blew it off."
"You did."
"I suck."
"A little."
"But you were kinda a jerk, too."
"I was not!"
Callie just raises an eyebrow.
"Okay, fine, a little. I'm sorry, too."
"Moms, let's go," Asa calls from the porch, holding fast to Teo's hand so he doesn't run off.
"We've got our witches. We gotta go!" Lena says, practically bouncing on her toes.
"I love you," Callie says softly, pressing in to Arizona's hoop-skirted form to plant a kiss on her lips.
"I love you. Maybe you shouldn't check your voicemail," Arizona winces.
"Noted."
"Glad you're here, Elphie."
"Me, too, Glinda. But don't take it personally if I run off with a scarecrow tonight, hmm?"
Said Scarecrow interrupts their moment to grab her beloved madre's hand and offers her umbrella like a little gentleman.
"C'mon, Mami. They'll eat all the good candy," Lena says seriously.
"I really think you've had enough candy," Callie laughs, spinning her around. "But you're right. We probably should."
"Well, I hope somebody is gonna hold my hand," Arizona huffs. She looks expectantly to Asa, who blushes and shakes his head negatively.
"I got you, Momma," Teo announces, slipping his hand into hers. "Now let's go."
el fin