Note-Ok, so I was going to publish this on Halloween, but it's three damn days away and I just couldn't wait! This is the story I have been working on for Halloween! I hope you enjoy it: I tried to make it as authentic as possible. Italics are JD's inner monologue, and bold is his daydreams. Enjoy!
Halloween at Sacred Heart is always a strange time. The kids in paediatrics all have their favourite costumes bought in by their parents, and the nurses have to have a special bowl of candy just in case. Things can get a little hectic…
A small vampire suddenly jumped out of a supply closet with a loud shriek of "Boo!" JD screamed and fell over backwards. The vampire giggled, and ran away.
Maybe I could use him as an extra in Dr Acula…
"JD, are you alright?" said Elliot as she helped him up. "I know how you feel; I got jumped by a ghost earlier. Why do they even give them those fricking costumes?"
"Relax, Elliot, its Halloween! Let the kids have their fun!"
"You call this fun? 'Coz last time I checked fun was me and my brother Bradley playing Wonder Twins!"
"Form of an ice menorah! I love that show...anyway, it's only for one day; we've just got to keep our spirits up! Good morning Dr Cox!"
JD switched from walking with Elliot to walking with Dr Cox in one step.
"Happy Halloween, Per-Per!"
"Newbie, no first names and espe-he-cially no nicknames, nawt now, nawt ever!"
"But it's Halloween! Lighten up a little!"
Of course, not everyone was in the Halloween mood.
"Yes, Dora, it's Halloween, that means that Jack has taken to wearing a pumpkin costume for the last week, but what the hell, tonight's the big night when I get millions of tiny fairies; goblins; witches; devils and vampires knocking at my door demanding candy whilst Jordan takes Jacky out to do the exact same thing to random strangers so he can become a fat blob on my couch. Whaddya say to that?"
"…I have to check on my patient"
As I swiftly moved away from the fun-hater, I thought about whoops!
JD slipped over on a wet floor and landed on his back for the second time that day. Unfortunately, there was no Elliot to help him that time.
"Hey, buddy!" said the Janitor. "Sorry about the floor. I was just about to put a sign up…" he propped a yellow "wet floor" sign next to JD. "You ok?" he gave JD what looked like a genuinely friendly smile. But JD wasn't fooled. He stood up slowly.
"I'm ok…" he muttered suspiciously.
"You sure? You can get concussion from nasty whacks on the head"
"I'm perfectly fine…"
"Good, good!
Maybe I was being a little harsh on Janitor. After all, it was Halloween, the funnest day of the year. Maybe he wanted to finally make friends. Was this the start of a beautiful new relationship?
Janitor and JD are sitting on JD's porch.
"Lemonade?" asks Janitor.
"Why thank you" JD says. Janitor takes a cup and pours lemonade into it from a jug, and hands it to him. JD sips it, and sighs.
"We would be like Rachel and Monica…" JD muttered. The Janitor gave him a strange look.
"Yeah… Hey, you wanna see something cool?" he said.
"Sure thing…buddy!" JD grinned, and followed the Janitor out of the hospital.
_______________________
Ten minutes, I found myself locked in an empty psychiatrics room. Unfortunately, it was soundproofed, so nobody could hear me. As I looked around at the white walls, I realised that Janitor had stolen my bag with my keys and money in it. Mental note to self: never trust Janitor again.
Locking Scooter in the empty psychiatric room was a stroke of genius, even if Janitor said so himself! Since Scooter changed the keyhole on his locker he hadn't been able to get in, but now he could again! And he had some other ideas planned…
Janitor turned into the men's locker rooms. Glancing at the clock, he breathed a sigh of relief, as everyone's shift would have started by now, so no one could see what he was about to do.
Whistling a little ditty to himself, he reached into his pocket, and took out Scooter's keys. Grinning, he inserted it into the keyhole of the locker, and turned it. He laughed out loud at the following click, and the door to Scooter's locker swung open.
Janitor reached in to find Scooter's diary. But it wasn't there. He pulled out a few pairs of creased Scrubs tops and trousers, a pot of hair mousse and for some reason a banana, but no unicorn-embellished notebook. Janitor growled. Stupid Scooter.
He looked down at the items in his hand. Then a flash of inspiration flashed across his mind. An idea for the perfect Halloween prank…
Five minutes later, Janitor emerged from the locker room dressed in a pair of Scooter's Scrubs. They were far too small for his hulking frame, and he did look a little ridiculous, but he'd put a huge lab coat over the top, and had used most of the hair mousse to style his hair Scooter-style! He'd even managed to get hold of a spare stethoscope! He looked down at himself, and grinned.
He walked over to the nurse's station, and picked up a chart. He read it over, and nodded to himself. He didn't understand a word, but he hoped he looked professional. He looked up. Scary-nurse wife was staring at him in complete shock.
"Janitor?" she asked.
"Good morning, Carla!" Janitor grinned.
"What the hell…why are you wearing those Scrubs?"
"Why shouldn't I be? It's me, Dr Dorian!"
Carla's face slowly morphed into a grin, and she nodded slowly.
"Oh! Oh right…JD! Say, that's a…ahem…complex chart. Want me to go through it with you?"
Janitor breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you, Scary-nurse wife!
After Scary-nurse wife had finished explaining to him just how to read a chart, he went into a patient's room. The guy had cardiovascular disease, which was a shame, Janitor thought, as he seemed a perfectly nice young man…
"Hey, idiot!" the man yelled in a strong Polish accent, causing Janitor to jump. "I said, when the hell am I getting out of this dump? Seriously, it's a hellhole!"
"Well, I'm sorry if our standards aren't up to yours, Mr. Ytsan!" said Janitor.
"I mean, honestly! The nurse forgot I'm allergic to nuts, so of course I can't eat nut roast! And the hygiene levels are disgusting!" said the man.
Janitor growled mentally, and was about to rip the patient a new one when he heard a piercing whistle from behind him. Angry Doctor strode into the room.
"Newbie, come!" he called, and walked off. Janitor followed him.
"Now, Patricia, I know you've been waiting desperately for that gorgeous bartender with the black hair to pick you up, so you decided to drink Appletini after Appletini in the hope that he'd notice you…" Dr Cox ranted over his shoulder. He didn't look at who he thought was his protégé, so he didn't pick up the obvious difference. "And I know that the resulting hangover was enough to kill a horse, but that's still not excuse to turn up late, nawt on my shift…"
He had turned around to see Janitor in a lab coat instead of JD, and he was shocked to say the least.
"L-Lurch?" he said. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm Dr Dorian today!" Janitor replied happily.
"What? Jumpsuit, I know that the ammonia in your brain gives you slightly less brain cells than the average chimp, but here's the scoop. You're a Janitor. Nawt a doctor. You can't up and put on a lab coat whenever the hell you feel like it! You could endanger a patient's life by giving him a wrong amount of morphine! Hell, you haven't even been to med school…"
"Shut up" Janitor commanded. Dr Cox stopped speaking, stunned.
"Thank you!" Janitor continued. "It's just for one day. Halloween. Anyway, I locked Scooter in a psychiatric room, so he's not around to annoy either of us!"
A broad grin spread across Dr Cox's face.
"You…locked up Carol?" he smiled. "Thank you…thank you so much!"
"And in return, you gotta help me out!" said Janitor. Dr Cox laughed, and threw his arm around Janitor's shoulder.
"Any time, buddy!" he grinned, and carried on walking down the corridor.
_______________________
Janitor strode into a patient's room, doing his best to do the slight side swagger that Scooter always did. He was dying to get home and get blind drunk and forget about this whole day…
"Good morning Miss Ecin!" he grinned.
"Excuse me, but…you don't look like Dr Dorian…" the young woman said.
"I am today!" the woman remained blank. "I'm actually a Janitor, but it's Halloween, so what the hell!"
"Oh, right!" the woman smiled. "Dr Dorian! I get it!" she laughed, and her light brown hair bobbed.
"So, Miss Ecin…"
"Jodie. I don't do formal" the woman smiled.
"Jodie" Janitor corrected. "You've been experiencing vaginal bleeding, yes?"
"Yeah"
"Well, Scooter…I mean Dr Dorian was going to get you to gynecology to get checked out today, so I'll get one of the nurses to take you down, and then we'll see what happens"
"Great! Thanks!" Jodie grinned. Janitor smiled, and left. Maybe being a doctor wasn't so hard…
"Aargh!" yelled a small werewolf as it leapt out of a supply closet. Janitor didn't flinch. Instead, he picked the child up by the collar, took him into the supply closet and hung him on the hook on the door used for lab coats. The child giggled as Janitor left the room, leaving him there to dangle.
_______________________
"I am telling you, Turk; I wish someone would get rid of those kids! They're pests in scary costumes and I've been jumped by three of the little frickers today and I'm seriously pissed off anyway and WHERE THE HELL IS JD?"
"Elliot! Chill!" said Turk, covering his ears. Elliot blew the bangs out of her face angrily. "I don't know where Vanilla-Bear is. I haven't seen him all day!"
"Damn…he's got one of my charts!" Elliot muttered. She was incredibly pissed off. Lisa had gone on at her for giving Keith the best case (he was the best intern and they weren't even dating anymore, dammit); Dr Cox was being…well, himself; and she needed that fricking chart because she was supposed to be meeting her patient in five minutes!
Suddenly, JD came round the corner. For some reason, he looked a little taller. But she knew it was him because of the hair.
"JD…" she called, and ran up to him. JD turned to face her…
"Hey, Blonde Doctor!" smiled the Janitor.
Elliot screamed, and all her charts fell onto the floor. Once she'd regained her composure (and her paperwork), she felt calm enough to speak.
"JANITOR WHAT THE FRICK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Ok, maybe not calm enough to speak…
"It's Halloween, Blonde Doctor" Janitor grinned, in thrall to his crush. "So I'm dressing up as Scooter!"
"So…where's JD…?" Elliot asked.
JD is in the psychiatric room, pounding at the walls and screaming.
Janitor grinned, and snapped out of his daydream.
"He's…indisposed" he grinned.
"Ok…" muttered Elliot. "I'm gonna leave now…" She turned and walked away. Suddenly, a small wizard leapt out of a supply closet with a shriek. Elliot screamed again, and dropped her charts again. The wizard laughed and ran off down the corridor.
"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF FRICK…!" Elliot yelled as she began to chase down the child, leaving the scattered charts behind for the interns and nurses to pick up.
_______________________
"Hey, guys!" Carla said as she sat down with her tray of food. Elliot was looking grumpy, and was playing with her plate of Sloppy Joe. Turk looked shell-shocked.
"What's up?" Carla asked.
Turk and Elliot began to speak at the same time.
"Whoa, slow down! One at a time! Elliot first!"
"The Janitor…"
"Ah!" Carla interrupted, smirking. "You've heard about the Janitor's…dress up game?"
"Yes!" Elliot and Turk yelled together.
"And it's totally freaking me out!" Elliot shrieked.
"And I want my Vanilla-Bear back!" shouted Turk.
"Calm down, it's only for one day! I'm sure Janitor hasn't done anything too drastic to Bambi!"
"I guess…" Elliot muttered, looking down at her congealed food. "It's just…"
"Hey guys!" came a voice. Janitor was standing next to their table with a huge grin on his face.
"Dude…" Turk muttered. Carla shot him a death look. "Hey, Janitor!" she smiled at the Janitor, and moved up to make room. Janitor sat down next to her, and stuck a mouthful of Sloppy Joe in his mouth. He grimaced.
"S'cold…" he muttered to himself. He picked up the plate, and chucked it in the bin behind him.
"So how's it being JD, Janitor?" asked Carla.
"Easy!" said Janitor confidently, and leant back in his chair. "This doctor stuff's so simple!"
"No it's not..." Elliot muttered to herself, staring at her food.
"I mean, all I have to do is tell a few people what's wrong with them, and I'm done!"
"Seriously?" asked Turk. Carla growled at him, and then smiled at Janitor.
"Good for you, Janitor!" she grinned.
Suddenly, a piercing noise filled the room. The Janitor looked startled, and pulled something out of his Scrubs pocket. It was JD's pager.
"What's this?" he asked, confused.
"It's your pager! Hurry up!" screeched Elliot.
"What do I do?"
"Go to the room! Now, someone's in trouble!" said Turk. Janitor nodded.
"Wish me luck…" he mumbled, and ran out of the cafeteria.
"Now let's see easy being a doctor is" said Turk. Carla shook her head sadly, and bit into her sandwich.
_______________________
In all of Laverne's life, she had never expected to see the Janitor in Q-Tip's outfit charging down the corridor. Still, she had seen some seen some odd things at her time at Sacred Heart, so she knew by now not to bat an eyelid. Just to stay calm, and spread the gossip afterwards.
"Doctor coming through!" Janitor yelled, leaping over a cadaver that Doug had left lying outside the lift door. He screeched to a halt next to Laverne, panting heavily.
"What's the emergency?" he asked.
"She's hemorrhaging" Laverne said, pointing to the woman lying on the bed. It was Jodie Ecin. And oddly enough, she didn't look in pain.
"Is it an emergency?" Janitor asked.
"A hemorrhage doesn't have to be painful. Any qualified doctor knows that!" said Laverne, ignoring the Janitor's wince at her harsh words.
"Make it stop…" said Jodie. She was lying back on the bed, and although she didn't look in pain her face was white and she seemed very anxious.
"Don't worry, I'll handle it!" said the Janitor bravely, and he took a step forward.
"Not you!" Jodie screeched. Janitor was taken aback.
"What?" he asked.
"You're not a doctor! You're a Janitor! Get away from me!" Jodie shrieked.
"But…"
"Piss off!" Jodie yelled, her face contorting into a mask of fury and contempt.
Janitor froze to the spot. And he was still frozen when, despite the nurses best attempts, Jodie Ecin died of excessive blood loss. He was only woken from his state of shock when Laverne tapped him on the shoulder.
"We've just got her lab results back. She was pregnant. It was a prepartum hemorrhage. It was a shame she didn't feel anything sooner, otherwise we could've saved her" she said, and walked away, leaving Janitor alone to stare at the creased sheets of the empty bed in front of him.
_______________________
It was the end of Scooter's shift, and the Janitor was sitting in the doctor's lounge, gulping down strong black coffee. The TV was on, but he didn't notice it. All he could think of was Jodie's face as she told him to piss off. He took another sip of coffee, and burnt his tongue.
There was a knock at the door, and he turned. To his surprise, Mr. Ytsan stood in the doorway, staring at him.
"Dr Dorian?" said the man in his strong Polish accent. "My name is Feliks Ytsan. You treated me earlier?"
Janitor nodded.
"I just wanted to say…I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier. I was stressed about the surgery, but it went perfectly, and I'm being discharged. I apologize for being so…how do you say? Mean?"
Janitor stared at him, dumbstruck.
"Thank you for helping me" Feliks said.
"Pleasure…" the Janitor muttered. Feliks smiled, and left.
_______________________
Being stuck in an empty psychiatrics room gave me plenty of time to think, and somehow my brain got onto the topic of first impressions…
There was a click, and the door opened. Janitor came in, back in his janitorial uniform, and grinned at JD.
"How you holding up, Scooter?"
"White walls…" JD muttered; look around at the padded room.
"Come on, buddy. Get out of here" said Janitor. JD stood up, and slid past Janitor into the corridor.
First impressions can be deceiving. When you're a doctor, a patient you think is really nasty can turn out to be a lovely person, and someone you think is nice can turn on you at the last minute…
JD turned, and looked back at the Janitor, who had begun to mop the floor.
And sometimes something you think you really want to do can turn out to be the worst idea you've ever had.
JD turned back to the door, and carried on walking. Suddenly, a small girl in a witch outfit leapt out at him from a supply closet. JD screamed, and fell onto his back. The Janitor walked over, and ran his wet mop over JD's face.
And when that happens, you can only take consolation in knowing how happy you are doing the things you already have to do.