All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective copyright owners. I had nothing to do with their creation, nor profit from their use. But, I did create some characters and they are mine. No copyright infringement is intended, this is just for fun.
Ensign Hoshi Sato gripped her lunch tray as she surveyed the mess hall for a place to sit. She thought about joining Vulcan Sub-Commander T'Pol, but knew that conversation would be awkward and she needed a break.
"When did Enterprise become a high school?" she mused.
The starship had only been out for a few weeks and already many of the crew had formed table cliques. There were the techie "geeks" from engineering; the "jocks" from security; the "nerds" from the sciences.
Then she saw them: the "mean girls" from medical-Lt. Rita Pinto, a nurse, and Crewman Megan Sanchez, a medic. Well, she didn't really know if they were mean-she had only met them briefly when she got her physical-but, she felt intimidated.
Usually Hoshi didn't lack confidence; her career as a linguist required it. Still, she was suffering serious flashbacks to her school days. Due to her advanced intellect, she had been the youngest in all her classes. The older girls always appeared so sophisticated with their well-developed bodies and social skills.
Rita and Megan had been good friends, along with exobiologist Elizabeth Cutler, long before being assigned to Enterprise. Hoshi stared at the two, envying their girl talk. If only Liz was there! Hoshi was friendly with her, but she was nowhere to be seen.
As if on cue, Cutler sidled up on Hoshi's left.
"C'mon, sit with us, we don't bite-much," she coaxed. "Come on….come on," she tipped her head toward the table.
"Hey kids!" Liz said sitting at one of the two empty chairs.
"Lizzie!" They both exclaimed.
"So are we eviscerating or lusting today?" she asked.
The women looked at each other and laughed.
"Lusting," Megan said. "But, pickings are slim, so we're falling back on our favorite."
"Not him again!" Liz groaned.
"Not him who?" Hoshi cannon-balled into the social swimming pool.
Rita and Megan glanced at each other with sly smiles.
"Archie!" they cried in chorus. Liz rolled her eyes.
Hoshi sat down and wrinkled her brow in confusion. Suddenly, her eyes and mouth went wide as she realized.
"You mean-the captain?" she whispered the last two words.
"The one and only," Megan sighed.
"Wouldn't kick him outta bed for eating crackers," Rita said matter-of-factly.
"Don't mind them," Liz scowled. "They spend too much time with lab animals."
"But, you call him 'Archie?'" Hoshi asked, again whispering the name.
"Well, not to his face," Rita said flatly.
"It's a long story," Megan added.
Liz rolled her eyes again. "A few days before the launch, the three of us went to the 602 for some farewell festivities. Ruby sent over some shots of Yukon Jack as a goodbye present…"
Rita interrupted, "So naturally, we started toasting—to ourselves, to Starfleet, to Enterprise..."
Megan interrupted the interruption, "And, of course we had to toast the captain..."
Rita laughed, "Except Megan called him 'Captain Archie' by mistake."
"I was a tad tipsy," Megan piped in.
"Tipsy? Girl, you were fricasseed," Rita exclaimed.
Liz chuckled at the memory, "So I said, 'you mean Archie Andrews?'"
"Then we said, 'what the hell are you talking about?'" Rita added.
"So, I told them about these 20th-century comic books my grandfather had," Liz explained. "They were about this teenage boy, Archie Andrews, who was the big man on campus at Riverdale High. He had a best friend, Jughead," she said the name in a southern accent a la Chief Engineer Trip Tucker.
Hoshi laughed in spite of herself for getting the reference.
Liz went on, "And, he had two girlfriends…"
"Betty, "Megan continued. "The sweet, wholesome girl-next-door he should like..."
"And, Veronica," Rita finished the sentence, "the rich, beautiful bitch who gets most of his attention."
"Well, that's when we began to call HER Veronica," Megan motioned her head toward T'Pol who was sitting nearby, eating a salad, and reading from a PADD.
"So, who's Betty?" Hoshi asked, knowing the minute the words came out of her mouth.
Megan suddenly looked sheepish, "Sorry, Hoshi, but it was you or Mayweather, and you already had the pony tail."
Liz frowned and glared at the other women.
"Oh, honey, we didn't mean anything by it," Rita said, gently touching Hoshi's arm. "We never call you that."
"Not to my face," Hoshi said softly.
"No, No, we really like you Hoshi!" Megan said brightly. "Betty is the good one!"
All three women nodded their heads enthusiastically.
"Yeah," Rita said. "It's just-she is such a Veronica."
"And, somebody has to be the Betty," Megan said in a resigned voice as other two nodded their heads again.
"Well," Hoshi sputtered, "I just don't think of him that way. I mean, he's the captain, I have to work with him. And, I've known him a long time. If anything, I think of him as a big brother."
"A big brother with a sweet, tight…" Rita began.
Liz suddenly stiffened as she looked over the other women's shoulders.
"Ixnay, ixnay," she said from the corner of her mouth.
All four sat straight up as Captain Jonathan Archer approached the table, with a PADD in his hands.
"Relax, relax," he said to the group and turned to Hoshi.
"Ensign Sato, when you get back to the bridge could you please translate these messages from Rigel 4? I recognize some of the words, but they look scrambled," he said showing her the PADD.
Hoshi glanced down and nodded her head, "Oh yes, this is a dialect from the northern region, the words are basically the same, but the syntax is complex. I can get right to it," she said, beginning to stand.
"Oh no," he said, motioning for her to sit, "Finish your lunch. They're not marked urgent, at least, I don't think they are…" he said, turning the PADD around and smiling at his own joke.
Megan sighed slightly. Liz gave her a quick kick under the table.
"Ok, Captain. Just transfer to my console and I'll get to it as soon as I get back," Hoshi said.
"Thanks Hoshi, I can always count on you," he flashed another quick smile to the table and walked away.
All four women followed him with their eyes.
"He called you by your first name…." Megan said in awe.
"Way to go, Betty!" Rita raised her fist for a bump.
A half-hour later, Hoshi returned to the bridge, happy that she had found two new friends.
She brought up the messages and began to work in earnest. She didn't notice Ensign Travis Mayweather leaning over.
"So how was lunch…Betty?" he whispered in her ear.
Hoshi turned Vulcan red and looked up to see the bridge crew-except the Captain and T'Pol-smiling broadly.
"Are you ill, ensign?" T'Pol asked. "You appear flushed."
"Maybe it was something she had for lunch," Trip said with a wink.
Damn! Hoshi thought. He must have joined the engineering table when she wasn't looking.
Trip continued, "But, I think she'll feel Betty, er, better soon." Mayweather and Lt. Malcolm Reed laughed.
"Don't they need you in engineering-Jughead," Hoshi hissed and returned to her work.
"Hey!" Trip said, wounded.
The Captain gave a bewildered look to T'Pol as she raised an eyebrow. For the first time, they both seemed equally confused at the source of the crew's amusement.