Her Perspective
The floodgates have been opened, and tears cascade down my face, and unto my chest, drenching me further in my misery. What is the matter with me that the good things in my life always seem to vanish, while the bad hang around, seemingly feeding and growing stronger from my despair? Life as I know it, is over. At least, that's the way it feels to me, as I bury my head into my pillow, in a vain attempt to stifle my tears.
I hate this unrequited bullshit. Why is it that you're allowed to fall in love with someone who does not love you in return, but carries those feelings for another? "What do I do now?" I ask myself. The unsteady heaving of my chest is the only answer that beckons me, but I find no comfort there.
The man I love has left me. I've become excommunicated, ex-related, and an ex-love in his eyes and nothing can cushion that blow. My heart is breaking and crumbling and shattering all at once, and I mourn its loss through my tears still flowing and ever present. I wish to never feel this loneliness, this sorrow, this grief ever again, and I think to myself, "If my heart stays broken, it'll never have to break again." "Can my tears take the pain away? Can they carry the remnants of my broken heart far, far away?"
I've cried about him for so long now that am beginning to feel ridiculous, and that lovely headache that's married to crying always shows up sooner or later.
"Serves me right though," I think to myself.
I can't hold him accountable for this too. I can't hold him accountable for any of it. In reality, it's my own stupid fault for 'falling'. Maybe though, that's what it's all about. That you can actually fall into a something so huge and unconquerable, that you're left feeling small, insignificant and helpless. In all honesty, when has falling ever been a good thing? I mean doesn't it always result in scrapes and bruises and crying?
"Well there you go."
I fell, and now I'm hurt and crying. This love thing is shit! Absolutely horrible. If he ever feels for you the way you feel for him, it's magical, oh so wonderfully amazing. If he doesn't, well, note current condition.
To make matters worse, I've got to see the bastard everyday now. And he's grown a tail it seems, as She's never far away. And just like that, just when you think, it couldn't suffer further damage, your heart goes and breaks some more, and you feel as if a demetor's kiss has been rendered upon you. As if your soul has left your body.
"How is it possible to feel this way?"
I can't go on like this. Every day is a nightmare, and I just want to close my eyes and open them to find that I've been asleep all this time throughout all this pain. I'd give anything to find that this torture isn't real.
PLEASE REVIEW. IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME:)