Author's Note: Originally written for a Holiday Fic Exchange. My prompt was Jack Kerouac's On the Road. Not exactly a light and "fluffy" story if you are familiar with it. Enjoy!
With the coming of Graham Aker began the part of Billy's life that one could call his road to recovery. The younger man would ultimately help him with a problem he himself was not yet ready to admit he had. For Graham, that very road would test and shake up his own emotions.
On the day the two met, Billy's first impression of the pilot was not exactly positive. After discussing with Professor Eifmann on who would test pilot the Flag, Billy was quite surprised in finding that the Professor had his eye on someone so young.
Graham gave off the impression of being an overly confident pilot with blond hair and blue, no, green eyes that always made direct contact with whomever he was speaking to. Billy couldn't help but imagine that Graham was the type of person who flaunted his status of being a Union Pilot to get any willing woman into bed with him. It also didn't help when the younger man rambled off a list of qualifications and achievements while in the military when introducing himself.
"Don't you think he is still a bit wet behind the ears?" The words were soft and Billy had only intended Eifmann to hear them. Graham, however, managed to pick up on it and took no offense.
"I believe experience and skill holds more weight than age. Otherwise I could point out that you also seem very young. . ." It was said with a smile and Graham trailed off hoping to learn the engineer's name.
"Billy." Some offense was taken from Graham's attempt to being 'cute'. First impressions hadn't gone well at all.
–
While Graham lived up to his word and proved himself worthy of piloting the Flag, Billy kept his distance from the young man. Graham had taken to the sky with the Flag without even consulting a manual and this action only acted as proof to Billy that Graham was arrogant and cocky.
On the day of the test flight for the Flag and the Blast, Billy's opinion of Graham began to change as he saw a different side of Graham he never expected to see in the pilot.
The mock battle between the two mobile suits did not go well and emergency crews were rushing out onto the battlefield towards the crash site of the Blast. Most of the crowd only stood and stared at the scene that had unfolded before them. There were murmurs of whether it had been an accident, the fault of the Flag's pilot, or suicide. Billy overheard Professor Eifmann comment that it appeared to be more of a kamikaze attack by the Blast unit.
'Graham!' Billy quickly looked over and spotted the other mobile suit.
While the Flag had its wings practically clipped right off, it had fared better in grounding itself. A medical team had pulled away from the rest and made its way to the Flag. Having worked on the prototype along with Professor Eifmann, Billy had watched the demonstration from the ground and so there was nothing in his way to keep him from stealing a near by ground cart and racing out to the mobile suit.
"Billy!" Someone had called out after him. Billy wasn't exactly sure who. He was too focused on the cockpit of the Flag where there was no sign or signal from the pilot that he was okay.
"Hey! Billy? It's too dangerous!"
"Billy, let us handle this! Are you listening?"
Throwing himself past members of the emergency crew, Billy ignored their pleas and made his way up to the cockpit of the Flag. Two members were already there and about to cut into it when one had their cutting blade ripped out of his hand.
"There's an emergency release switch hidden here." Billy jammed the blade into a panel on the mobile suit, prying it open, and yanking hard on the lever hidden underneath. The cockpit promptly hissed and opened while a medical team began wheeling a stretcher over down below.
"Graham?" Billy was the first to peer inside with the other two men following behind.
"Sletcher. . ." Graham's eyes, normally so strong and sharp, were struggling to find where to focus. They finally met Billy's eyes, "Is he all right?"
–
Over the next three years following the incident with the Blast, Graham's promotion, and the Flag being designated as Union's mainstay mobile suit, both Graham and Billy grew closer. Their friendship first began simple with the two sharing breaks and later becoming the casual lunch. Eventually they began going out of the way to prank each other and finally, during the third year they actually spent time outside of work together.
It was a Friday night and really just like any other night. However, Graham had stayed a bit longer than usual in the hangar. Being too focused on his mobile suit, Graham didn't even hear Billy come walking up behind him.
"Graham?" Billy placed a hand on the pilot's shoulder which caused the other man to jump,
"Ah! Katagiri." Graham using Billy's last name to show respect after having noted that he offended Billy the first day they met. By this time, it was just a habit Graham was in no hurry to correct.
"Is there a problem?" Brown eyes flashed to the mobile suit and back to its pilot.
"No. I was," There was a pause as a smirk grew on Graham's face, "Just saying good night you could say."
"Are you. . .waiting for it to say it in return?"
Graham laughed and turned to face the Flag that was currently folded up into its flight mode. "No. It's just, ah, how do I explain this?" He took a few steps closer, "I don't see it as a machine or a tool, but rather as an extension of myself. I sleep better at night if I come and check on it one last time."
A nervous chuckle slipped free as Billy pushed his glasses up higher. He really had no idea what to say to that and so he settled for changing the subject all together.
"Graham. It is Friday night. An attractive young man should be out at a club, drinking, partying, or something."
"You think I am attractive?" A mischievous smirk creeping onto his face while Billy only rolled his eyes. "Well, then why aren't you out at a club, drinking, partying, or something?"
"I go out once in a while."
"Oh?" The smirk becoming more of a friendly smile. Graham's eyebrows raised up in interest as he turned away from the Flag and faced his friend better, "Are you seeing someone then?"
"Ah, well, no." Billy looked away.
For some reason, that piece of information put Graham at ease. Maybe it was simply knowing that he wasn't the only one who seemed to put work before relationships.
"Then, why don't you and I go out?"
The older man shot a look back, confusion quickly overwhelming him and leaving him speechless. It made Graham shrug and explain himself better, wondering just what the engineer thought he had meant.
"Let's go have a drink together. Talk about things not related to work." Graham shoved his hands into his pockets, "I've known you for three years and yet I don't really know you."
"Ah, sure." Feeling rather embarrassed and taking note that Graham had a unique way with words, "I'll take you to my favorite bar. Just let me finish up one thing."
It wasn't long until they made it to a small and dimly lit bar. Graham considered it to be a dull place where businessmen would go and hit on younger women who hadn't yet figured out the hot spots. He kept his opinion to himself though, just happy to spend some time outside of work with his friend. The two drank and talked the night away with Graham learning about a woman named Leesa Kujo and Billy learning that Graham was more interested in the sky than women.
–
On the day that Graham came to realize that he might be developing an attraction to his engineering friend, another man, or machine rather, entered their lives. Gundam. Originally, the two of them were to go out to Graham's favorite bar, a place a bit more upbeat than Billy's, but with the appearance of Gundam their plans had to be set aside.
That feeling of disappointment sinking in was Graham's biggest clue that he found Billy to be more interesting than the sky. Currently he was sitting in a Union satellite vehicle several miles outside of the orbital elevator.
"Don't you have to return to the military? It's in chaos right now."
Graham knew his friend was right, but he didn't want to leave Billy's side at the moment. He needed some excuse, "I want to find out about that Gundam's abilities. That unit is too special."
Gundam was the perfect excuse. A convenient scapegoat for his unrequited emotions that Graham was just now realizing. Someone in Graham's position would need to know everything about the new unit and so no one would question his deep and sudden interest in the mysterious mobile suit. Graham also knew Billy would be one he could pull information from as time moved on.
Another car was pulling up at that moment and it seemed like Graham wouldn't be able to hide any longer. All men exited their vehicles, Billy continuing their conversation as he shut the side door.
"It's not just the special particles, I believe the unit is hiding other secrets."
A smirk grew on Graham's face. He couldn't help himself, "I'm in love."
Such simple words left Billy speechless, something Graham had done so many times before. He was good at it and Graham found so much enjoyment in it. Billy was struggling to figure out where the declaration came from and who it was directed to.
"I mean that it is an extremely interesting subject."
–
Projecting his feelings for Billy onto Gundam worked well for some time. It made eyebrows raise and people question his sanity, but Graham didn't care. The most important thing as far as Graham was concerned, was making sure Billy never caught on so that they could continue on with their friendship.
A simple phone call one night put Graham's emotions to the test.
"Ah, Graham?"
There was a moment of hesitation from Graham as he struggled to make out the voice coming from the other end, "Billy? Is everything okay?"
"Could you come and get me? I cannot drive myself now."
The younger man laughed softly, "Ah! Had too much fun tonight? Sure, where are you?"
Earlier in the day, Billy had mentioned having a date with Kujo while Graham would be busy off greeting the new Flag Fighters that arrived on base. Having just said goodnight to Stewart and Randy, Graham quickly set off to go collect his friend.
That next morning, Billy woke up with a throbbing headache. The sheets around him smelled differently and the room seemed colder than what he preferred to keep it at. He shifted a little, not wanting to get up just yet while struggling to remember what happened the previous night.
He saw Kujo, Billy remembered that. She seemed unhappy about something and left Billy who stayed and drank more. Everything else was a blur in his memory and his aching head wasn't helping. When he lifted a hand to rub his forehead, he felt the presence of someone else.
Shock and surprise took over and the pain Billy was feeling didn't matter anymore as he quickly sat up on his elbows. He was in Graham's bed with Graham still in it and his own clothes, Billy just now realized, were missing. If that wasn't enough, with the way Graham was sleeping, Billy couldn't tell if Graham was also stark naked and he was too nervous to pull back the covers and check.
Thinking it over, he was lonely last night and had a lot to drink. Could he have come on to Graham when Graham brought him back? Would Graham even allow him to do so?
"You complained about my room being too hot and stripped off your clothes." Graham mumbled from under his blanket, somehow sensing what Billy was struggling to figure out, "I tried to stop you, but you wouldn't listen."
Graham did not sound amused at all. While Billy had no memory of what happened, it was clear in Graham's mind. Billy admitted to Graham about giving Kujo sensitive material that could cost Billy his job if word got out. Just knowing that Billy would go and do something like that for a woman left a bitter taste in Graham's mouth and he wasn't at all happy with his friend.
He also had to listen to Billy explain repeatedly about how everything would be okay so long as he could continue to see this woman and be in her life. This was part of the cause behind Graham's current headache.
Neither of the men moved and it was Billy who first broke the silence that had fallen between them.
"I'm going to take a shower." He searched for a loose sheet to cover himself before making his way to the bathroom.
The shower was long and when Billy finished, he found that Graham had left and his clothes were neatly folded at the end of a made up bed. Picking up his shirt and unfolding it, Billy caught the scent of fabric softener. Graham must have stayed up late washing them while Billy was passed out in his bed.
It was such a simple gesture, but it touched Billy deeply. As he was getting dressed he half wondered if Kujo would have done the same thing for him and decided quickly that no, she wouldn't have. Billy was now realizing for the first time how much Graham cared about him.
A bitter sweet feeling was washing over him as Billy began to wonder if maybe he was chasing after the wrong person.
–
For Graham, he didn't hear much more about Kujo and so it was easy to slip back into old habits. Billy, on the other hand, kept going back and forth between Graham and Kujo in his mind. He was tired of being lonely and being hurt and Graham was someone who obviously would be there for him. Even so, Billy just couldn't let go of Kujo. Not yet.
Plans had been made again to go out for drinks, but at the last moment Billy had broken it off without much explanation. Graham decided to go ahead and go out on his own. Work had been rough after recently losing a comrade in battle and so he just really needed the drink.
His bar of choice was a relaxed and dark lounge that had live music Friday and Saturday nights. This night had a couple of local jazz musicians playing one after the other. A blind jazz pianist was currently moving the audience while Graham sat at a small table in the back drinking a simple martini. Stirred. The way a martini is supposed to be handled.
It was easy to get lost in the passionate performance the current musician was giving, but reality hit hard when a familiar faced walked inside. Billy was being accompanied by a taller and well-endowed younger woman. She had long wavy brown hair, a delicate and shy smile, and a low cut blouse that was giving every man, except for the pianist, a view. With Billy's hand relaxed on the woman's lower back to guide her through the crowd and to the bar, Graham quickly assumed her named was Leesa Kujo. His gaze was slicing through the crowd and locking in on the couple.
The two were casually talking, once in a while pausing to laugh at something. They then would focus on the live music, order another drink, and then repeat. During this routine, a saxophone player took to the stage and played his heart out. Everyone in the audience, except Graham, shivered.
By the time a scat singer took to the state, his drink had fallen empty and a waitress spotted it and made her way over. The grip Graham had on his glass, looking as though he could snap the stem in half, worried the waitress and caused her to hesitate before asking if he wanted another one.
"No. I'm fine." Quick words off the tongue as Graham stood up and began to head out. The woman called out after him, but Graham was too impatient wanting to get out and head to the next bar, wondering how Billy could do this to him. Wondering how fate could be so cruel as to lead the couple to the very jazz club he had gone to.
From martinis to straight whiskey. Graham was choking them down one after the other, focusing on the burning sensation and ignoring the bitter medicinal taste.
'I'm jealous, aren't I?' A thought Graham kept to himself as he lifted his glass and rested it against his forehead. Feeling a bit dizzy and disoriented, the cool feeling from the glass was helping him think somewhat straight.
It was after another and final drink, Graham set off to head home. He half wondered if Billy would be calling him in a couple of hours like before, however this time Graham was in no condition to drive either.
He hailed a cab, but found that he had no card on him for some reason. The fifty-dollar bill he most always carried on him for such emergencies had been used to buy drinks at the second bar and was now a measly twenty. It didn't get him far and so Graham was kicked off to the sidewalk and forced to walk. It was beginning to rain and the thought of how he would actually get home was far from his mind.
Instead he only thought about Billy. It wasn't jealousy he was feeling, but having to see someone he cared so deeply for hurting and not being able to do anything to help. Cursing himself a fool, he struggled to fight back the tears that wanted to come. One broke free
Car lights flashed from behind, but Graham kept watching the sidewalk move beneath his feet. When he heard the car pull over and stop, Graham looked up and felt his heart sank.
As if fate hadn't done enough twisting and playing with Graham's emotions, it was Billy's car that had stopped. The older man exited the car alone and Graham was half tempted to duck into an alley and act like he didn't notice Billy. Instead, he continued on forward with the intention of walking past.
There was a pop of an umbrella and shortly after the rain seemed to stop for Graham. It made him stop and look over to see Billy standing next to him, only smiling and not asking any questions. The car ride back was completely silent along with the walk to Graham's room.
Once at the door and no longer needing Billy's help with walking, Graham searched out his keys and worked on unlocking it, which was taking him a few tries. Billy said nothing and was only glad to have had the chance to return the favor and help out Graham when he needed it.
"You're a good friend." The words were heavy and not at all friendly. Graham slipped inside and quickly closed the door behind him, not waiting for Billy to respond, and not even looking at him. It left Billy feeling quite confused and lost.
The words weren't said to him. Instead, Graham had said the words to remind himself that Billy was only a friend.
–
It would be the very next evening that the two would come to realize each other's feelings.
Graham was just sitting beneath his Flag, the hangar was open, and there was a view of the setting sun over the runway with an endless sky stretching over everything. No matter where you stood in the world, it would be the same. That was a comforting thought and Graham began thinking of Billy, imagining him growing old and what he might be doing years from now. Wondering who it would be that Billy would drag to dull and empty bars.
"Graham?"
His thoughts were broken by the very man he was thinking about.
"I got some data together on the three new Gundams that made an appearance. A report was written." Billy sounded uncomfortable, as Graham wasn't responding, "You probably should take a moment to look it over."
A heavy sigh slipped free from the pilot. Normally this would be a time where Graham would perk up with enthusiasm and say something regarding his so called attraction to Gundam, but this time he only said one thing.
"Okay." He was beat and it was obvious. Graham stood up and without making eye contract with the engineer, turned and began walking past.
Billy turned with him, but didn't follow after, "What? That's it? Graham, why aren't you making a declaration of love, giving me a reason to roll my eyes and shake my head, and. . ."
It was the pain of seeing someone he cared for hurting and not knowing what he could do about it.
"Graham, what is wrong?"
The other man did stop and look back. Billy was standing against the setting sun, outlined by it, and showing a concerned look on his face. Graham knew he couldn't hide it anymore. The past several days he hadn't been himself with being torn, confused, and completely void of his usual energy. He had been lying to himself and lying to his friend.
A tiniest of smirks struggled to break free on Graham's face as it was decided. He would take what he wanted. Just one kiss. Their friendship could survive through one kiss, right?
Billy moved to repeat his question, but only a startled sound came out. Graham had taken him by the wrist and pulled, forcing him to stumble forward where Graham caught him and pressed their lips together.
Short and simple. That was Graham's intention. But instead of pulling away end ending his moment, Graham relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy it more.
Billy kissed back.