I always thought that my life would end this way. In a bed of crimson, slowly spreading underneath me. I look towards the ceiling, gazing up at the heavens, trying to justify the choices I've made. I look over to my hand, which is slowly oozing the red liquid, and try to move it. It barely budges. I look over to my other hand, laying on my chest, oozing at a faster rate. I can lift it but it just makes it bleed faster. I look back up to the ceiling and prepared myself for an eternal slumber.
I take a deep breath, probably the last I'll ever have and close my eyes. Slowly releasing it as I think what I did was the right choice. My eyes jolt open when I hear a scream. Already knowing who it belongs to; I gaze back up towards the ceiling. Was this a sign that it wasn't supposed to end like this? I'm ashamed, I should have sought out help but instead I chose the easy way out. My eyes close, all is dark.
When I awaken, all I see is white. I thought to myself, "I don't deserve heaven. I've been stupid, disgruntled, miserable, and greedy. Heaven is just a gift that should never be within my reach." Then I realize, this isn't heaven. I'm in the hospital. I look over to the chair beside me, only seeing ash brown hair. I bring my hands up and cover my face, to ashamed to show it. I guess the movement alerted her because when I slide my hands down my face, I was met by red-rimmed emerald green eyes. She stares for a moment and then says one word. I knew what it was even before she said it. The one word I've been dreading. "Why?" I cover my face again, trying to disappear like I should have. She says it again, demanding an answer. "Why."
I sigh, knowing she won't give up. "I tired of the suffering. The voices, they taunt me. Even in my dreams, there's no relief."
"I thought you said you couldn't hear the voices anymore?"
"I lied. I didn't want to worry you." I looked away, there was a silence. A brief pause, as if the world froze. I looked back, met by green, her tears threatening to fall. I grabbed her hand and rubbed my thumb over her knuckles, trying to reassure her. "I love you." I don't know what made me say it but if felt good.
"I know." I closed my eyes and hummed a response. "I love you too." I peeked an eye open and smirked. "I know."