TJ blinks, sitting in front of his TV, playing video games, when he hears the sounds of Neville stirring down the hall. He sighs, squinting at the clock. It's the middle of the morning and he realizes just how exhausted he is, pausing his game and going to start breakfast. He should've gone to bed hours earlier. He gets some water, starts some pancakes, and slumps against the island in his kitchen, cradling his jaw in his hands, when Neville comes in behind him and kisses his shoulder, sleep mussed and tender, before laying his phone in front of him and stepping aside to check the pancakes. TJ yawns and pulls the device closer to look at what's on the screen. He skims it blearily for a minute before sitting up straight, rereading the email. Once done, he looks over at Neville, wide eyed. "It finally happened?"
Neville's lips twitch into a small smile. "Yes, it did. They've finally released me from my contract."
TJ swallows, hard. His heart sinks as he rereads the email a couple more times, struggling not to show the sudden sadness he's feeling on his face. He then turns and hugs Neville, clumsy and barely able to stand up straight. "I'm happy for you," he says into Neville's shoulder. Neville eases back and cradles his face in his hands, searching his red rimmed eyes before kissing him, TJ's fingers tugging lightly at his shirt. He kisses him back for only a few moments before pulling away, his heart pounding hard in his chest as he works to breathe normally, his exhaustion, the look on Neville's face, and the smell of the pancakes making him feel ill. "Go ahead and eat. I'm gonna take the brats outside for a few minutes. I didn't mean to play video games this long and I... I feel like I've been neglecting them."
"Of course," Neville says, frowning as he watches TJ go into the living room and free Cupcake and Pugsley from their play pens, guiding them out to the fenced in backyard.
TJ blinks tiredly as the pigs play around in the grass, digging and nosing at each other. He sits down and rubs at the back of his head, staring up at the sky, stretching his arms out over his knees. He feels stiff, sick inside. He needs sleep, he needs time to himself to think, he needs a lot of things right now, but after only a few minutes, the backdoor opens and his eyes close in defeat.
He doesn't move, however, just sits there and listens as Neville walks over and sits next to him, waiting for him to say or do something. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice low, weak, after a few quiet minutes. "Did I say or do something...?"
"No," TJ says honestly, never wanting Neville to blame himself for something that's not his fault. He knows Neville deserves an answer, but he's bone weary and he has so many mixed up thoughts running through his mind right now. He licks his lips and tries to make verbal sense of his thoughts and feelings. "I know... I know things have been rough for you the last year. And you deserve to be happy, I want you to be happy. But..." He casts a quick glance back at the house before forcing himself to face Neville. "We made a life here." Speaking grows more complicated the faster he circles the drain both emotionally and physically. "We moved here, got this awesome house, and I feel like we're building something pretty incredible here, the two of us and the piggies, but..." He tugs at some tufts of the grass near his hand, eyes dropping down. "Things are going to change now. Bookings are going to catch fire for you really quickly, Britain, Japan, Mexico, who knows where all are going to want you because so many people have missed seeing you in the ring, and I'm going to be all alone here, wrestling once or twice a month if I'm lucky."
He licks his lips, looking away uncomfortably as he forces himself to face another possibility he's tried not to think about too closely. "And you'll probably find someone who you don't have such a complicated history with, who's probably easier to be with than I am." There's a deep, dark kind of sadness in his eyes as TJ looks over at him. "Don't get me wrong, I am so, so happy for you- you've been so unhappy the last ten months, and I want you to have all of the success and for people to recognize just what WWE threw away, but... I'm really gonna miss our life together. I'm really gonna miss you." He looks away then, focusing on the pigs as they continue frolicking like his life isn't crashing down around him, unable to face Neville's reaction to his admission, feeling weak and pathetic in a way he hasn't in a long time.
The tense silence doesn't last- Neville leans forward and cups his jaw, forcing him to turn to face him once more, TJ unable to look away from the disbelief on his face. "What are you talking about, you bloody ridiculous man? I'm not breaking up with you. It doesn't matter where I end up wrestling at. I will always find my way back here to this truly bizarre life we've built together- to this house, to the bratty pigs, to you." He pauses, searching TJ's face. "And what's this about someone else being easier to be with than you? Yes, our beginning wasn't exactly ideal, but it doesn't mean that what we've built from it isn't exactly what I've been looking for for most of my adult life. Out of everyone I know, no one else took me when I was mere seconds away from giving up on everything, when I was ill and hadn't slept for days, and pulled me back from the brink. I was shattered into a million pieces when I left WWE behind last year, emotionally and physically broken, and you helped put me back together. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you. There is no one else for me. Alright?"
Tears start to fill TJ's eyes and Neville smiles grimly at him, brushing them away with his thumbs. "I'm sorry," he breathes out. "This is supposed to be a really happy time for you- we should be out celebrating or something, but instead I'm sitting here being a sleep deprived, emotional idiot and making it all about me and my doubts..."
Neville rolls his eyes. "My choices from here on are at least partially about you, because you are the most important part of my life, and what I decide to do will affect you too. I don't blame you for having doubts, this did come out of nowhere just when we were finally settled in this life of ours, but I will do my best to convince you that no matter what happens, our relationship will remain in tact." He hesitates. "Besides, you know I'm not much for public celebrations. I do, however, have some ideas for what I'd like to spend the day doing." But TJ looks so exhausted that Neville takes one, long look at him and changes course. "Come with me," he says quietly, ensuring the pigs get back inside safely before leading TJ to the bathroom.
Settling on the lowered toilet seat, TJ watches quietly as Neville runs a bath, checking to make sure it's hot enough. Once he approves of the temperature of the water, he turns and helps TJ out of his clothes, guiding him into the water. TJ hisses out a breath as the warm water licks at his bare flesh. Once he's comfortably in, he reaches out for Neville, who's leaning against the outside of the tub and ghosting his fingers over the surface of the water. "Are you gonna stay out there and just watch?" he asks with a faint smile, his gaze roaming around as Neville obligingly stands up and undresses himself as well, waiting until TJ shifts forward to ease in behind him, tugging him back down so they're laying chest to back. TJ hums as Neville softly kisses his neck, wrapping his arms around him. "This is nice," he murmurs as Neville nods.
"It is," he says, grabbing a washcloth from the side bar and rubbing it slowly over TJ's chest, down his abs. After months of TJ taking care of him, it's time for him to return the favor and he marvels in the opportunity, softly kissing his neck and shoulders as TJ melts back against him. "Feel good?"
"Mm hmm," TJ says sleepily, his eyes fluttering shut. Neville lets him drift for a few minutes before nudging him awake and helping him to wash his hair. Once he's rinsed off, Neville holds him for a few moments longer before using his foot to press the drain to let the water out. TJ groans faintly but gets up when Neville urges him, standing there quietly dripping against the linoleum until Neville comes back and wraps a towel around his waist, leading him out of the bathroom.
"Sit here for a minute, I'll be right back," Neville tells him, guiding him to sit on the edge of the bed and kissing the top of his head before ducking out of the room. TJ stares at his bare feet, wiggling his toes, until Neville returns with a steaming mug of chamomile tea, which he hands over to TJ. "Drink this, it'll help you to sleep," he tells him, though it's clear he doesn't think TJ will need much help there, he already looks so wiped out. As TJ drinks it down slowly and struggles not to make a face at the taste, never a huge fan of tea, Neville rubs another towel through TJ's hair, helping it to dry faster. "Feel alright?" he asks, kissing TJ's bare shoulder.
"Not really," he confesses, still a little dizzy with exhaustion. "Cupcake and Pugsley-"
"They're fine," Neville says. "I made sure they're both in their playpens, and they have plenty of food and water, so I can focus on you for awhile." He cups TJ's jaw and searches his face, reflecting the sadness he sees there. "How long have you been thinking about this, Teddy?"
"Honestly?" he licks his lips and shakes his head, enjoying the protective warmth of Neville's fingers against his skin. "I'm not sure. I never really let myself think too much about it. I mean, it was always kind of there in the back of my mind, but I didn't want to burden you with it when you were already going through so much and I convinced myself that I could consider it another day, and just to enjoy the time we had as it came. I guess by pushing it away like that, it just snowballed and tore everything apart once things became official."
"Usually the way these things go," Neville says, stroking TJ's lips with his thumb. He presses his forehead to TJ's and smiles at him. "I'm going to repeat this promise... you're stuck with me. I love you, and I need you, and I'm never letting this go. Alright? You, our life together, it all means too much to me. But next time, don't just push things aside, even if it's for my sake. I want to know when you're not happy, or when you're feeling poorly about anything to do with us. Or even if it's not to do with us. You've helped me through so much the last year, and I want to do the same for you. It's how relationships work, TJ. Not everything has to fall on your shoulders alone."
TJ nods, his lips trembling as he arches up and kisses Neville. "I'll... I'll remember that," he tells him. "Just be patient with me, please. It's... it's been TJ against the world for so long, struggling just to survive, I'm still getting used to sharing the load sometimes."
Neville nods. "I understand, and I will." He kisses TJ again. "Now come on, let's lay down. You need some serious sleep right now." He takes the cup from him and sets it down on the dresser before guiding TJ back up the bed, tucking him in securely so he looks like he's cocooned in nicely between the towel and sheets, propped up by large, fluffy pillows that leaves him blinking slowly at the ceiling as Neville crawls into bed and wraps his arms around TJ, holding him close.
"This is nice," he mumbles, eyes fluttering closed already.
"Yes, it is," Neville agrees, watching him as he settles more comfortably into his arms. Sighing softly, Neville begins stroking gently against TJ's abs and chest, fingers from his other hand rubbing small circles against TJ's forehead.
TJ yawns and makes soft, sleepy noises, but every time he gets close to actually dozing off, he jerks himself awake once more and stares around with a frown until his heavy eyes lock on Neville's face. Each time, his eyes close a little faster, and it takes a little longer for him to jerk awake, but it shouldn't be happening at all- between the warm bath, the tea, and how comfortable the bed is, TJ should be out like a light, but here they are. TJ still forcing himself to stay awake and Neville swallowing down his frustration, catching TJ the next time he does it.
"Teddy, why do you keep forcing yourself awake? You need sleep," he insists quietly, tapping TJ's nose.
"I just..." He sniffs miserably. "Don't want to waste time sleeping, I guess..." But his body is quickly shutting down, no matter how hard he fights it. Realizing this, TJ groans and presses his face into Neville's neck, twitching a little. "Promise me something?" he asks wearily.
"Anything," Neville whispers, waiting patiently while TJ starts to doze off again, just to jostle awake once more.
Their eyes lock and TJ struggles to smile, ending up with little more than a very sad looking twitch of his lips. "No matter where we end up, you won't forget me?" His voice is wrecked, his eyes are dull, and his words are completely devastating as Neville searches his face.
Pain stabs through Neville's chest, making breathing difficult, and he feels hot tears pricking his eyes as he leans in and kisses him softly. "That's impossible," he says with absolute certainty. "You, Theodore James Perkins, are one of the most unforgettable people I've ever met." Adjusting the sheets around them, and holding TJ even closer, he kisses the side of his face. "Get some sleep, and things will look a lot better when you wake up," he whispers into his ear.
It's a relief when TJ's eyes finally drift closed, sleep completely claiming him, and Neville is perfectly content to lay there and watch him sleep. He smiles and imagines their future, able to see it all so clearly, successes both personal and professional mapped out in his mind. "We're going to be just fine, that I can absolutely promise you."