This is another one of my not so minifics from the prompts on Tumblr...this one was submitted by the lovely ubiquitousmixie :)

The characters are not mine, only the story...oh and reviews are love!

Things with Brenda would always be complicated, even when things would even out as they eventually would, it would always be complicated. Yes they could be really good together, but at the same time they could be destructive. Sharon wasn't sure that she was willing to compromise herself in that way; to let Brenda Leigh in unsuspectingly and then retreat to lick her wounds when things went down hill.

She was brought back to the present by the shrill ring of her cell phone. She glanced at the home screen and smiled at the familiar name.

"Gavin," she greeted warmly turning towards the window.

She could hear the smile in his voice, "How are you beautiful?

Sharon lean back in her office chair slightly, crossing her legs at the knee.

"Fine," she answered after a brief pause.

She could practically see his eyebrow lift to his hairline on the other end of the phone. Gavin and Sharon had been friends for a long time and most times there was no one who knew her like he did. He had always been there when she needed him and Sharon had returned the favor as often as possible.

"Are you really going to make me drag it out of you?"

Sharon huffed indignantly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

He snorted, "Well then, let me refresh you memory on our last conversation."

She rolled her eyes skyward.

"When we last left off," he began, "you were explaining to me how you had fallen for the rule bending blonde commanding officer of the Major Crimes division."

The older woman rubbed her hand across her face, coming to rest on the bridge of her and pinched it slightly. She could feel a headache coming on.

"I have not," Sharon paused, testing the word on her tongue, "fallen for her."

"Sure you haven't," Gavin wheedled, "and I've been using being gay for a cover all these years."

She shook her head ruefully, "Its no that simple."

"Why isn't it?" he questioned, "You like her don't you?"

"Well of course I do!"

She was so busy trying to defend her self that she never noticed the door to her office open or the figure who was now leant against the frame.

He was becoming impatient, "Then what's the problem?"

"There are so many different factors…"

She stopped talking and let her mind wander. The truth was she didn't want to be hurt again; it had taken her so long to recover from Jack and their marriage. Then Brenda…Brenda didn't have the best track record either, she wasn't sure she was willing to make herself so vulnerable once again. No matter how much she wanted to, no matter how much she yearned for it.

"To be honest," Sharon began, "I'm afraid."

"Well obviously," Gavin remarked, "love is terrifying Sweetheart."

She shook her head, "Its not just that, but I don't want to be hurt again…after everything we've been through, how she treated me in the first place and all the things she done, how can I trust her?"

The figure in the doorway stiffened at that and straightened their shoulders, somehow they now knew who the brunette was talking about.

"How can do I know," Sharon continued, "that I'm not just some rebound after her husband left or a midlife crisis?"

Gavin was silent on the other end of the phone, she knew that he now understood and credited her concerns. Sharon wasn't one to play fast and loose with her emotions, if she had reasons for holding back he knew they had to be good ones.

"I just don't…" she began before a soft knock interrupted her.

Sharon turned in her chair slightly and facing the doorway to her office, when she spotted the person standing there she could feel the color drain from her face. She imagined herself looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Sorry to interrupt," Brenda drawled softly.

She wouldn't meet Sharon's eyes directly, she seemed to be looking everywhere but the older woman. The blonde was clutching the files to her chest tightly and her eyes seemed to be growing redder. It was then that the brunette knew she had heard some, if not every, word Sharon had been saying to Gavin.

"I'll call you back," she hung up without hearing his response.

"Brenda," she began…

The blonde interrupted, " I just wanted to drop these files off to you and then I'll be headin' home."

She stepped forward a few feet, just far enough to set the files gently on the corner of Sharon's desk. Then as quickly as she came forward she moved back to her position just inside the door. Sharon stood and made to move toward Brenda, her hands raised in a placating manner.

"Brenda please…"

At the use of the word please, the blonde's eyes snapped to Sharon's and for that split second she could see all the hurt, all the guilt, and all the disappointment the younger woman must be feeling. She could physically see Brenda struggling to hold together her happy and nonchalant façade. The younger woman shook her head vigorously, a clear sign not to come any closer.

"I really have to be goin' " she mumbled quietly.

Then she pivoted on her heels and strode off down the corridor. The staccato of her heels on the laminate flooring was unbelievably loud in the captain's ears. Sharon watched the door silently, hoping she would come back, but knowing that she wouldn't.

Sharon sighed sadly, "Damn it."