A Christmas Greeting
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling
N.B. I am in no way trying to alter characters, this merely tickled me. Enjoy!
Albus Dumbledore: Tom! TOM!
Voldemort: You know Albus, this is without a doubt the worse idea you've ever had!
Albus Dumbledore chuckles: I know! Well, it would do you some good to experience torture for once!
Voldemort: I'm not doing it!
Albus Dumbledore: Oh yes you are!
Voldemort: NO I am not!
Albus Dumbledore: Tom, it's literally two seconds of your time!
Voldemort: I don't care! It's wrong and completely against everything I believe in!
Albus Dumbledore: It's no good trying to disparate, I've fool-proofed the room.
Voldemort: You do know that's basically torture?
Albus Dumbledore: Well, for you!'
Voldemort: Look, I don't see why I should!'
Albus Dumbledore: Well, I don't see why you shouldn't! Come on! You used to love this time of year!'
Voldemort: What do you mean? I was completely indifferent.
Albus Dumbledore: Tom come on! Please! It's two words! Two words and then you can go, I promise!'
Voldemort slowly appears dressed in his black suit and glowering.
Voldemort: I hate you, you know that?
Albus Dumbledore chuckles : Yes, I know, look come on! You've got lots of fans!
Voldemort: Seriously?
Albus Dumbledore: Yeah! God knows why! I think they sympathise with your backstory.
Voldemort: I told you to keep quiet about that!
Albus Dumbledore: Why are you so ashamed? It's not your fault!
Voldemort: Whatever!
Albus Dumbledore: Look, come on! Voldemort moves reluctantly towards him and looks in front Well? Smile then! Voldemort forces himself to smile. Oh come on Tom! You can do better than that!
Voldemort: It's the best you're going to get!
Albus Dumbledore sighs: Fine!
They both look in front and Albus Dumbledore beams
Albus Dumbledore: On behalf of Tom and myself – I would just like to wish all you wonderful people, young and old, witches, wizards and muggles alike a very merry Christmas and a happy new year! Tom?
Voldemort: Yes, whatever – Merry Christmas.
Lighting fades
Dumbledore: See? Didn't hurt did it?
Voldemort: Yeah!..Wait a minute, what did you mean Wizards and muggles alike! You tricked me!
Dumbledore: My dear Tom, I do not have a clue to what you are referring! Oh, Merry Christmas by the way.
Voldemort: Yeah, yeah whatever!
The end.