The Inner Workings of Hiei: Master of the Third Eye

A Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Okay, this is basically just an idea I came up with, and I wrote the first three chapters in one day. This isn't supposed to be great literature or hilariously funny, just something I felt like writing. I don't even know why I'm writing this story; I don't even like Kurama and Hiei as a couple. I'm much more for the Elusive Couple (private joke) Yusuke and Hiei. But, I'm kinda writing this for my sister, even though she hates this story. She's all, "Hiei's so pathetic!" and I'm like, "Yeah, that's the point." Mwahaha, I am evil and write numerous stories. Go me.

Disclaimer: No.

Summary: A series of ridiculously short episodes in which Hiei examines his pathetic obsession with Kurama.

Episode One:

Spilled Milk

My name is Hiei.

I am a fire demon. I have the Jagan, or Third Eye, in the middle of my forehead. I am a master of swordsmanship.

And also, I do not love Kurama.

Just because I'm sitting in his seat at his kitchen table, using his favorite bowl and his favorite spoon and eating his favorite cereal does NOT mean I'm in love with him. Just because I think about him every minute of my waking hours and dream about him every night does NOT mean I'm in love with him. Just because I stole one of his jackets just so I could smell it does NOT mean I'm in love with him. Just because every time I'm with him I feel like doing something stupid, like singing or kissing trees does NOT mean I'm in love with him.

Shut up!

Okay, okay, I admit it. So I have the tiniest crush on him. But that's all it is, a crush. A mere notion, that if I were to spend the rest of my demonic life just holding his hand, I would die happy. So, yeah, just a crush. Nothing more.

… Okay, that is all just a blatant lie.

I mean, have you seen him? He's all pretty! And the way his hair does that thing, and the way his clothes smell like that stuff, and the way his…eyes… twinkle like those twinkling things…in the sky… and the way his hands are, like, there, and the way his legs… do… that… thing… And don't get me started on his hips. The way they move, like that thing… that moves…

Oh god.

I need a fresh bowl of cereal. Mine's all soggy.

I think Yusuke knows I like Kurama. He leaves little, subtle hints, the way he's always like, "Guess what, Kurama? Hiei's in love with you!", and, "Hey, Hiei! Why don't you just marry him already?!" You know, little things like that.

Pssh. What does he know? Well, obviously a lot…

Anyway, enough of that, I must get some more yummy Cocoa Puffs goodness.

As soon as I stood up, Kurama's front door opened and… well… Kurama entered. He hung his coat up on the hook in the hall, and then spotted me. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Hiei, what are you doing here?"

I stood there, frozen, trying to come up with an excuse. And then, one came to me. I threw my cereal up into the air and started screaming like a banshee. I darted past him, knocking into the bookshelf and causing its contents to collapse on top of me. Kurama just stood there, blinking, and I started screaming again and scrambled up, scurrying out the door and slamming it behind me. I leaned up against the frame, breathing heavily.

"Woo, that was a close one."

End

This isn't a spectators sport, people. Review or die trying. Peace.

-SC