PLEASE READ- This is a nonlinear chapter and an AU story

The next chapter will be linear and should begin to clear up any confusing timelines, so hang in there! Also this chapter turned out to be shorter than I wanted :/ I don't know this was the most I could do without giving away too much of the story in this format. Anyways enjoy!

Her hair fell gently over her eyes and across her face. It stuck to her lip gloss as two parted lips exhaled in fear. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and reflected in her whiskey colored eyes. Her heart slammed inside of her chest at an alarming rate, reminding her of her inevitable ability to die. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to think, however the plastic mannequins marched directly towards her regardless of her yelling at them to stop. But then he was there, a man in a dirty leather coat with big ears grabbed her hand and whispered one word to her. That was all it took, just one word.

"Run."

It had been a very long time since her pink hoodie and bellbottom jeans ran alongside the Doctor. It had been a very long time since she had brushed up against his leather jacket and brown sweater in an attempt to save her life. It had just been a long time, or maybe it hadn't. She wasn't very sure how time proceeded where she was. She wasn't sure how anything proceeded here, it was one of those strange factors you never account for when contemplating oblivion in it's purest form. She didn't know where she was or how she got there, all she knew was that he was gone. He was gone in a puddle of blood that left her with a note saying she should go too. Her head began to scream in pain at the memory, and she was bathed in a gold light. Suddenly she wasn't very keen on remaining conscious, it was a welcomed feeling as a haze fell over her mind and she slipped away. Slipped into a gentle song that lifted her up with the strands of golden force, if only for an instant or the length of an eternity, before dropping her into one particular strand.

He didn't know what in particular he was drinking, but it helped him push away those awful memories. They flashed behind his eyes as an unending montage of her. Her blonde hair flying across her face in the wind as they walked over the frozen waves on a planet that he had seen a dozen times, but never really looked at until he was with her. That was just how she was he assumed, she took anything that you were bored of or didn't care for and made it special and exciting again. She just made everything better, but she was gone now. Locked behind some stupid wall that he just wanted to rip down, not to say that he didn't put at least one hole in it when it had closed her out of his universe. No, not his universe, their universe. The one that they had travelled together, hand in hand. He indulged himself in the memory of her. Thick lips and kind eyes, a big heart and unending forgiveness. He looked at his hands, which shook back and forth, before making the risky decision to go to her room. He knew that it would just make everything hurt more, but the alcohol fogged his rationality and wiped it away like condensation on a cold window.

"TARDIS! Please just.. I jus.. Ya know? I jus.." He sobbed and dropped to his knees before letting out an agonizing scream. "Please!" He yelled at the console. The telepathic ship sang softly back to him in the corner of his mind. She guided him to his destination and worked on consoling him as he grieved. He walked to the door that lead to his room, which had been provided by the TARDIS, in just a few short steps. Then he walked about two meters further and stared at a white door that had four simple black letters that were about equal to the height of his nose.

"Rose." He whispered her name like it was a curse, something that he wasn't supposed to be saying. "Rose I'm s-so sorry, I can't- I couldn say the, the- uh. Oh no, no no! 'S not fair." He slurred and stammered the words at the four simple little letters that seemed to hold the entirety of a universe of pain in them.

Doctor, My Doctor

He let the intense memories wash over him, ignoring the agony that they left behind. Almost as though an acid had been poured into his hearts and was slowly destroying them, particle by particle. He reached out his arm in an attempt to grab the handle, but missed. Upon trying a second time he received the same result. The Doctor squinted his eyes at the swaying world around him before successfully grasping his around around the target.. He twisted the cold door handle and entered her room. Everything was exactly the same, except for two things; the bed sheets were altered from the many times he had slept in her room, and a glass vase with the second most beautiful rose he could find, preserved for eternity by the TARDIS who loved the girl as well. Every other aspect was the exact same, one sneaker on a fluffy chair in the right corner of the room and it's duplicate hidden under the bed. The pictures she had taken on their many adventures scattered in different locations across the room. He decided that once he could let go of his shrine he would put those pictures to better use than just sitting on dressers. He stretched out on the bed and rolled his head to the left, her favorite hoodie was thrown over a wooden desk. It was the pink one she had been wearing when they'd first met. His mind shot back to the day where he had heard the young woman yelling at the mobile plastic. She was always so brave, so courageous. One tear fell out the corner of his right eye and he didn't have the energy to push it away. It didn't matter if he cried, just because the Doctor wasn't allowed to have feelings in front of people didn't mean that he wasn't allowed to have feelings in general. His eyes slipped shut and he tried to even his labored breathing. The strong substance he had been drinking coursed through his veins and dragged his eyes closed. He fell into a restless sleep.

The color pink fluttered behind his eyelids, it was as if someone had picked up a thousand different colored shades of pink tissue paper and thrown them in his face. The distinct smell of a rose lingered in his whereabouts. The smell of a Rose that someone had left on a beach, once all alone and a second time with some knock off version of a doctor. However, the always trusting and always loving, Rose never really saw him as a knock off, the Time Lord was certain. A dark streak cut through the light pink color and he heard her, at first it was just a whisper.

"Doctor." The name was so faint he could barely hear it, even with his phenomenal hearing. Soon, however, it was a scream. Loud and ringing in his ears to the point where he could no longer doubt it's authenticity even while he was asleep. "Doctor! Doctor Please! Something is wrong! Plea-" something cut off the screaming and all of the sudden he sat directly up from his short rest. He opened his eyes and saw a world distinctly different from the one he had gone to sleep in. It was still Rose's room, but all the light pinks and purples were now harsh grays and blacks. Everything that had been so meticulously left in one place was thrown apart, clothes torn or burned, furniture broken, a window to his right was shattered and covered in blood. Her smell was gone, everything reeked of ash and burning, he didn't want to know what was burning. His ears perked when he heard a small inhale. With a quick turn, he saw her. She was hunched over, the quiet breath he had heard before turned into a sob and a harsh inhale, breathing in the air as if it was running out..

"Rose." He said, voice full of fear and amazement. She turned to him, but something was different about her. "Rose, what's wrong?" Her eyes held a lifetime of fear, pain, and sorrow. But as he searched her eyes for an explanation all he seemed to find was more and more pain. This wasn't just one lifetime. Dear god how long had she been here? Rose turned her face away from him and he saw a huge scar that ran from her chin to underneath her shirt. He looked at her entire body and saw dozens of scars that weren't there before. Where were they? More importantly, what in bloody hell had happened to her? Anger pumped through his hearts.

"Doctor" Her voice was rough, it formed the words harshly as she rushed through them. "I wasn't sure if I would be able to reach you, I've been trying for so long, but- but now you're here and that's all that matters." She shook her head, like she was trying to shake away all of the terrible thoughts, something he had tried many times, but always to no avail. Her hair was grown out completely brown, but it was covered with ash. Her eyes were dulled from whatever awful things she had seen and her skin was so pale, it was as though she had never seen the sun. Upon standing up he saw it, the blood. There was so much blood covering the front of her shirt.

"What the hell happened to you?" He almost yelled and moved towards her. She flinched back and crossed her arms over the deep wound. He instantly regretted the action, but what could've made her afraid of him? He tried to deny it, but the thought kept coming back.

"I'm coming back to you Doctor." Her words were a wrecking ball in his mind. He felt a brush of hope in both of his hearts, but he quickly shoved them down. She had him. The anger shot through his mind at the thought that he let her go with him and he left her in this state. Where was he? How could he have let this happen?

"You can't Rose. The walls in the universe, they're sealed. Either way, you have him now." It pained him to try and convince her to stay. How could he try to make her stay in this awful place? Where was the man who almost ripped down the walls of the universe just to see her again when she wasn't suffering the way she was now. Where was he?

"No Docto-" she tried to explain before a foot slammed into the door.

"I don't have any time! You will meet a girl named Amy very soon. Then you will understand how I can get to you, as for him…" The foot smashed right through the door and an arm reached towards the lock.

"Thought you could get away from me? Didn't you? Didn't you! I'll teach you to run." The voice came through the door and the Time Lord couldn't help but place it somewhere familiar, but it couldn't be.

"I can share the telepathic field with you, but I need more time. Goodbye, my Doctor." Her words rang out as he saw what he could've sworn to be his metacrisis standing bloodied, and with a knife in his hand. Then he collapsed onto the bed and her room was pink again, and she was gone again, and the pain was there again. Something new was there too, something bright, something hot. He was pissed. He was furious. How dare anyone do that to Rose? How dare they? He promised her safety in the new universe. His metacrisis vowed to protect her! What was he doing there with a knife? Why couldn't he help her?

So much rage was flinging through his veins that he almost didn't notice the crippling pain in his head, almost. By the time he did it was too late, he passed out and he didn't wake up. Not for 6 full days.

"Oh, Stuff of legends."

Rose allowed a painful smile to cross her face as tears pooled in her eyes, whenever she was hurting that was the memory she turned to. And she needed it now. He looked at her and said that one sentence that kept her fighting while she was locked away in that false home.

"Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth." His smile was faked, just for her and he tried to make this seem somehow okay. "You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have." She faked a half smile at him before looking up and swallowing the air trying to escape her lungs in a scream.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" She almost choked on the words, on the devastation they held in their nonexistent hands. It didn't matter, Rose wanted to take the words and destroy them, didn't want them to ever have to be said out of her mouth, and certainly not in this context.

"You can't" And with something as simple as two little words, Rose Tyler, the one that we all knew, died.

"What're you going to do?" She asked as she tried to hide the tears that were openly falling down her cheeks, and the ones gathering in his eyes.

"Oh, I've got the Tardis. Same old life, last of the Time Lords." But she knew he was lying, inside she knew that he would struggle and that he would be alone. Somehow in all of this, she put that on herself.

"On your own?" He nodded, and his confirmation just made everything worse. "I-" the words caught in her throat and she took a deep breath before she could continue. "I love you."

"Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler-" and she was gone, he was alone again. Alone with the same life of a Time Lord.

"Ik tounin triken nind dasnoub gouyin" he said in his native tongue, hardly a whisper. But it wasn't fair, she deserved so much more than something she never got to hear in a language she couldn't understand.

"I love you, my bad wolf." And the tears fell down his cheeks, silently.

07/21/09

Dear Doctor,

Now before you go making fun of me for this, because let's be real, If you ever actually found this you'd give me hell, this was your idea. Or the other you, bloody hell I don't know how to explain it. He said that maybe it would give me closure or something, said that I needed to hold on to my connection to you. We've been pretty good, got a house actually. That of course was a welcome home present from Pete, that man has more money than I thought possible. We have fun living the slow life, well sort of slow. Still both working at Torchwood but can you expect us to actually give up running? Seems a bit odd now, writing to another man with my boyfriend's consent. Oh, you're my boyfriend now. Well he's my boyfriend now. Made it official because it raised questions that two grown adults that act the way we do live together and are just friends. It didn't take as long as I thought it would for you to get used to us being officially together. I mean you practically picked up on it by the first day. Either way, we are actually happy. I miss you terribly don't get me wrong, but he's been trying to help. He's helping me rebuild myself while I help him do the same. The nightmares have gotten better I guess. He still doesn't sleep through the night, but neither do I so I guess it doesn't matter. He and I are getting better is what I'm trying to say I guess. We just need more time.

-Rose

09/17/09

Dear Doctor,

Seems a bit more fitting than Dear Diary huh? I know I should be writing to the Doctor that I'm with, but something isn't right with him. It's like he's losing bits of himself. He insisted to continue wearing his same trench coat, suit, converse, the whole look for about three months. Then I come downstairs one day and he's wearing blue jeans. Blue jeans! With rips in the knees! Thank god he switched right back when I pointed it out. I know it seems little but there are other things too, sometimes I swear he looks at me and doesn't even recognize me. He has headaches all the time and he never wants to do anything. I don't know what's wrong, I don't know how to help him. He's all that I have left of the real you. I feel like I'm losing the only connection I have to the life I used to love. Blimey- this is pathetic, I'm writing a diary entry. I, "Rose Tyler defender of the Earth" am writing a diary entry about boy problems. I best burn this thing, I'm never writing in it again.

-Rose

10/23/09

Dear Doctor,

I know the plan was to burn this thing, but I'm afraid. Something isn't right here and I don't know what. The Doctor didn't come home last night, he spends most nights out. When he comes home he always reeks of some strong liquor, I don't want to know how much he's been having. I thought that I could love this Doctor just the same as I love you, but he's not the same. I'm afraid of him. Not that it matters, I need to make him happy. I know that I pulled him away from the stars and I know he must resent me for it, but I can fix this, right? I'm Rose Tyler and you're supposed to be my best friend, the man who loves me. Lately it feels like you can barely stand to even look at me. Well not the you that I'm writing this to, I mean I know you'll never read this. I have to wonder if there's something wrong with him or me. Am I the problem? Does he really hate me that much? Or perhaps something else is going on here, something bigger than the two of us. I can't say what's wrong. I plan on talking to him tonight. Wish me luck.

-Rose

12/29/09

Dear Doctor,

Tonight he was in so much pain he was screaming. He says that the time vortex is rejecting him. Something about how when Time Lords used to travel to different universes in a TARDIS it would protect them from the different time vortex. Doctor I'm scared. He told me that he is dying, he told me he is dying and there is nothing we can do to save him. Sometimes, there are these moments. I think they happen when the pain dies down. It used to be those moments all the time, for those first few months we were always happy. Now occasionally he just does something that isn't absolutely horrifying. Yesterday was a good day, he told me how sorry he was for me to have to watch him like this, he said that he would love me until the end of time. For a moment, I could almost pretend that what was happening to us didn't exist. Today everything shifted. He said that this was my fault and I don't know what to believe anymore. I need you here. I need the real you here to tell me what to do, the real you would know. I can't look at this damn paper anymore, my head is pounding.

-Rose

2/25/10

Dear Doctor,

Did you mean what you said? That this life would be better for me. I can't explain what it's like living here. My head is constantly screaming, I don't know what's wrong with me. The pain that I'm in, I can only imagine what he is feeling further along in the process. To die piece by piece… it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Something I wouldn't wish upon the worst demon in hell. You're no help. Well, not the real you, the real you is the only thing that can keep me fighting at this point. I asked him to try and help, I asked him to keep fighting. Doctor he slapped me, told me to get it though my head. He said we were dying, bit by bit. I think… I think I believe him. He used to be you, the you that I knew and loved. He's changed, I've changed. Not in the normal growing apart way. Something in this universe is killing us and I don't know how much longer he is capable of holding out for. My money says he won't survive the month. I don't know what I'll do without him.

-Rose

She walked into the house on the date of March 15, 2010. Long after burning those five journal entries. She knew by now that no one could save them. The Doctor, the metacrisis Doctor had explained it exactly to her during one of the good days. Jackie and Mickey could stay in that universe because they were simple humans with simple human biology that no time vortex would ever bat an eye at. However the Doctor and Rose had both looked at and been a part of the Time Vortex in the other dimension. It had left them with a type of glow, this energy that the universe they were in could not process. It was actually more like two different things. On one hand there was this energy, it was called artron energy. This was the golden glow that Vortex saw. The second thing was the actual timelines, they were built up of Frasheen particles. The Doctor was covered in them due to being a Time Lord and Rose was covered in them from touching the Vortex. Either way, it damned them both. Rose had been fine the first time because she was just one out of place thing that happened to glow, but no one was going to go searching London for something they didn't know existed. The second time around wasn't so lucky. All the sudden the stars just miraculously stop going out? Likely. Everyone was looking for answers, including the vortex, and the Doctor and Rose were vibrantly glowing. Once the vortex found them she began to eat away at their every particle. She went after the Doctor first and then attacked Rose. It took a few mere months for them to go mad.

Doesn't matter now, the girl was thinking, we're bound to die. But that didn't mean Rose Tyler had been complacent. With every pull that the vortex yanked in her memory Rose fought back. Most days she spent on the floor of her room, in the pitch black, screaming at the Vortex and fighting her tooth and nail. The Doctor… he had already lost so much. With Rose not able to heal him like she had the first time before the Vortex found them, he gave in. So on March 15, 2010 Rose Tyler walked into the house that they had shared and saw a sight that would have made anyone's blood run cold.

The pinstripes on his suit were stained with blood.

So from then on out, Rose fought the Time Vortex alone. She lost the one she loved, although officially it would be to suicide, she lost him to the Vortex, to the universe, to that other Doctor who always thought he knew best when he just didn't. His mistake cost one life already, she just prayed that it wouldn't be any more.

I can fight this she thought. I just need to hold on to what makes me who I am. But, not for the first time since returning to this universe, she had no idea who that was. With her mind slowly being devoured by the Time Vortex she had no idea who she was. All the memories she had left were faded, dull and fuzzy. The rest had been ripped into the Vortex, never to return to her mind unless she went in there and retrieved them. With that being impossible, whoever the blonde haired girl was, she wasn't Rose Tyler. She lost the last thing she had. So she too slipped away, because why fight when you didn't know what you were fighting. Or why you were fighting. All this girl knew was that if she left she would be reunited with someone she once knew. It was strange that she knew this, considering she didn't know much of anything, but she just.. knew.

The song of the TARDIS rang throughout the room, but that wasn't possible, he had sent her away. He had saved her, the only way to get back was if she- no. Rose wasn't capable of that, she was just a human. If she did that it would spell out her certain death. There was no way she could have joined with the Time Vortex, no mortal race could. But when the doors opened, his worst fear was deemed true. The radiant beauty of individual timelines glowed from out the TARDIS door, glowed from out of Rose. The beauty faded away as he realized she just about signed her own death warrant.

"What've you done?" He yelled at her. How stupid could she be? She would die from that, undoubtedly. The girl he was supposed to take care of. The girl he promised to look after! How could he explain to her mother that she had died because of him?

"I looked into the Tardis, and the Tardis looked into me." She said softly, yet the words held a strength and a power he couldn't comprehend. His anger subsided slightly as he noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks. She had done this to save him. She had risked her own life, just to save some daft old man with big ears.

"You looked into the Time Vortex." He knew that she wouldn't have much time. "Rose, no one's meant to see that." The concern raised in his voice. She had not just looked into the Vortex like she thought, she had joined with it. When it 'looked' into her as she stated it had just about dumped her in a bucket of artron energy and Frasheen particles.

The Dalek emperor yelled through the screen. "This is the abomination." It seemed as though he was giving a silent command and one Dalek followed, it yelled out, "Exterminate!" before shooting one of it's lethal weapons directly at Rose. The Doctor was crouched on the floor and barely had time to turn his head to the Dalek. She didn't even flinch when she raised her arm and sent the beam directly back at it. The Doctor could do nothing but stare with a mix of amazement, amusement, and horror. Would she survive this, and if she did, would she recover? The time vortex isn't a stroll down memory lane, it has the capacity to create, to change, to end, and certainly to kill. The only one who could contain would be… a Time Lord. The only race that could even see it without certainly dying was the Time Lords, most likely due to them being the creators of it. To contain it within one's self was completely different. Rose looked at the sign above the screen that showed the Dalek Emperor.

"I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here." Everything that had been so confusing before clicked into place. She sends out the words, a message so she can save her Doctor and the only thing he can do is beg.

"Rose, you've got to stop this. You've got to stop this now. You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're going to burn." His voice was thick with worry. He was on the verge of tears. She was just a young girl, and yet again he was putting her life in danger. She didn't seem to even notice he was speaking until she turned her head abruptly.

"I want you safe." She stared deep into his eyes, now being one of the only times she truly showed her emotions. "My Doctor. Protected from the false god." His hearts skipped a beat. Her doctor? The title seemed rather fitting, but it only confirmed what he was hoping wasn't true. She was doing this for him, and if she died it would destroy him. If she died, the only person who had seen the bad in him and stayed would have died because of him. He just wasn't sure he could survive something like that. Wasn't sure he could survive losing her.

"You cannot hurt me. I am immortal!" The emperor yelled from his screen.

"You are tiny." The words are said with such strength it is shocking, the tears rolling down her cheeks only seem to support her decision. "I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence.." she paused, almost reaffirming whatever decision she was making. When she spoke again her voice was not her at all, but the Vortex speaking under her wish to protect him. "And I divide them." Her eyes glowed, somehow brighter than before. She held up her arm and the certainty in her eyes gleamed with the pain of knowing what could've been and what could never be. She raised her arm and a Dalek disintegrated.

"Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends." The Doctor was powerless as the fleets disintegrated, piece by piece. She had done everything he never could, she had defeated the Daleks. Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf, had single handedly ended the time war. Something he hadn't felt for a long time filled his hearts, he would forever deny the fact that it was love. Love directed at the woman who would do anything for him, but now wasn't the time for pesky feelings. He needed to focus on her right now.

"Rose, you've done it. Now stop." He commands, "Just let go." He says firmly, hoping maybe he can break through to her. If she just let go there was a chance, one chance in hell, that they would both survive this.

"How can I let go of this?" Her face was traced with confusion. "I bring life." Her eyes shone bright golden again and Jack was resurrected from the dead.

"But this is wrong! You can't control life and death." He was hoping he could convince her to just let go of the power, that maybe she would survive it. She needed to see that this was wrong.

"But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night. But why do they hurt?" More tears fell down her face, the Rose he knew was shielded by whatever part of the Vortex she had taken in. He couldn't get her to understand. More guilt came crashing down on his shoulders, he had pushed her into doing this. He had pushed her into feeling this much pain.

"The power's going to kill you and it's my fault." He turned his head away from her.

"I can see everything." The Time Lord looked back at her. He was astounded, had she become one of his people? That was impossible. "All that is, all that was, all that ever could be." The realization dawned on him, the Vortex had given her the knowledge of a Time Lord and she had mere moments before she too would disintegrate. No human mind could contain something even remotely close to that magnitude.

"That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?" He stood up and stared her directly in the face, a small smile at the thought that someone else in the universe actually understood what he was seeing.

"My head." She was begging now.

"Come here." He said gently.

"It's killing me" She cried.

"I think you need a Doctor." And he kissed her, and he took the Vortex from her, and he died for her. Most surprising of all, he regenerated as a perfect match for her. Every aspect of his new body was designed perfectly for the woman he couldn't admit that he loved.

"Jack, meet me at Cardiff, April 30, 2012." The Doctor said into a phone, he powered up the TARDIS and for the first time in a long time had a sense of hope. Although the hope was shrouded by whatever had happened or was happening to Rose. He swore to himself that he would come clean about his feelings if he ever got the chance to see her again, to hold her just one more time. He used his expert...ish TARDIS flying knowledge to fly right over to Cardiff as the ship sang contently at the thought of her favorite coming back home.

Upon landing he saw Jack leaned up against a telephone pole, when Jack noticed him he whistled. "Took ya long enough!" He yelled at the Doctor.

"Why are you complaining, rumor has it you've got all the time in the world." The Doctor joked back at him.

"Ah the things we could do in that time." Jack said with a wink and a cheeky grin, "However my immortal ass is not fine with waiting around for a month and a half. No matter how cute your face is at the time." He said with a slightly accusatory and still flirty tone.

"Blimey- that far off?" The Doctor said apologetically as he looked around awkwardly. He spied a trash can, reached in, grabbed a newspaper, and glanced at the top right corner. It was June 13th.

"You really aren't as good at piloting this thing as you think, maybe because there's only one of you. I might be able to fix that. I mean, who would make a better companion to the guy afraid of losing people than the man who can never die? Anyways we could go out and have our fun for years and years, then I could come right back here to Torchwood. What do you say? You're too lonely, you need a companion." Jack suggested not so subtly. Then the Doctor burst into a grin, the first real smile in months and Jack reciprocated.

"Oh of course you're welcome. Just no sleeping with any other companions." Jack rolled his eyes and the Doctor sent him a look before he inevitably conceded.

"Alright alright, I can look at the menu and flirt aggressively with the menu as long as I don't order from it." Jack said in a defeated voice. Well as defeated of a voice as the man who seemed to almost always be happy could procure. "How long will it take for the TARDIS to kick me off?" He asked in a slightly serious tone, staring at his gray boots. He kicked the laces on his left shoe.

"You can stay forever." Jack's head shot up. The Doctor smiled warmly, "Yeah I modified the TARDIS before coming here, took me damn near a month. Argued day and night with her, but you can stay, for as long as you'd like." Jack's eyes lit up.

"You and me, till the end of time. Fantastic!" Jack yelled with a huge grin and his dark trench coat blowing rapidly behind him. The light clouds covered the sky and wind pulled at the Doctor's light hair.

"Yeah, you and me… and one more." Jack's eyebrows raised curiously at the other man's words. He had a new companion? After what had happened, everyone leaving him all at once, he didn't think the Doctor would have another companion for a very long time.

"Who is it? I didn't know you had a new com-" The Doctor cut him off with a raise of the hand.

"It's Rose, Jack. Rose is back."

Two men with scruffy hair are sitting in small red booths that fit one person. There is a table between the trench coated men and their miniature booths. Jack Harkness has dark blue-gray colored jeans on, a light blue button down shirt with the top two buttons undone revealing his white undershirt and a dark coat with four buttons down the front that nearly skims the floor. His feet fiddle with the laces on the opposite shoe, a bad habit he had picked up from a girl who smelled of honey and was one of his two best friends. Rose Tyler. The Doctor was wearing his ill fitting blue suit and red converse. The suit was about a size too big, he had lost a lot of weight since Rose left. His light brown coat pooled on the floor and creased against his seat, the lapels folded back to reveal his crooked burgundy tie and white button down that was buttoned all the way up to his neck.

"Are you going to keep staring at your cup or are you going to explain what the hell you mean." Jack said, he hadn't intended it to come out harshly but now was not the time to worry about hurting feelings. If Rose was out there he deserved to know.

"She came to me Jack, I don't know how. One minute I was asleep and when I woke up I was in some different place. I don't know how to explain it. It was like Rose's room but something awful had happened, the metacrisis was breaking down her door, he had a knife." He paused and swallowed, "Jack she was- there.. There was so much blood." He looked down and his eyes searched the cuppa in some attempt to find an answer to what was going on. The man across from him blinked emotion out of his eyes, now wasn't the time for weakness and he locked his feelings behind a steel resolve, his blue eyes masked.

"What could have happened?" He asked, knowing that the Doctor would have told him if he had any idea.

"I don't know." The words were agonizing. "But I have a plan to find out, that's why I came to you." He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. The only thought running through his head was how much he didn't want to do this.

"What is it Doctor? I'll do anything you need." Jack said, almost as desperate as him to find Rose and bring her home. The Doctor returned his eyes to Jack.

"I need you to look into the time vortex and find how I meet a girl named Amy, if I looked through that many timelines I would die. Anyone would die from it actually, so I need the immortal man." Jack nodded in understanding of how awful it was for the Doctor to ask him this favor, even though Jack would do that and much more for Rose. "You know I wouldn't ask if there was any other way." He said with shame laced in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah of course. It's not a problem, I mean if it can save her… how could I not? Why do I have to find Amy though? Why shouldn't I just look for Rose?" Jack questioned.

"What is happening to Rose right now is locked in the Time Vortex in the other universe. Doing it would be impossible, we need to find Amy. Rose said when I found Amy I would understand where she was. I don't know why it's important but it is." The Doctor offered his lame explanation, he had no way of knowing what this Amy girl would show him. How could some girl find who he had looked for himself for almost two years. Jack nodded, then he downed the rest of his drink and put a tenner on the table.

"Let's go." He said, and the two men walked out of the restaurant, red converse and gray boots slapping against the cobblestone. It was a 50 meter walk, at most, but every step felt like an eternity. They both wanted to sprint to the TARDIS, but two men going into a small Police Box raised enough questions as is, so they walked as fast as they could without drawing any extra attention to themselves. When they finally reached the box the doctor unlocked the door and held it open while Jack walked in. He took the opportunity to make light off the situation and whistled at the flirty captain.

"Ladies first." The two chuckled and an elderly woman a few meters away gasped. This only caused them to laugh even harder as the Doctor strutted into the box, winked at the woman, closed the door, and locked it behind him. The smiles fell from their faces as they realized the gravity of what they were about to do.

"You sure about this?" The Doctor asked him, making sure he knew that he didn't have to do this if he didn't want to. Jack raised his right hand and put it directly over his heart.

"I'm sure I want to do this, I swear on this damn thing that won't stop beating." They both forced small smiles. The Doctor walked over to the console of the TARDIS and stroked the controls lightly. The ship hummed to him softly, she gave him the answer he needed. Told him that he was correct, this was the only way.

"I can't be here for this. All you have to do is raise this lever and stare directly into her, you'll have about four minutes to find who this Amy is before you die. Rose's timeline is pink, since she has left the universe find where her timeline ends and travel from there to find Amy." He looked the slightly shorter man in the eyes. "Be safe." Jack pulled his hand up from over his heart and used his index finger to draw a small X over the organ instead.

"Cross my heart." He said, hoping the other man got the poke at humor he was using to dull the severity of the situation

"Hope to die." The Doctor said back. He nodded at Jack, then he turned and entered a room that had gallifreyan carved into the door right underneath a name printed in black letters. Rose.

Jack looked at the console and pulled the lever, then he was everything. He was everything and he was nothing all at once. He was exquisite and he was disgusting. Golden particles bathed him in stands of time. Every possible timeline was running through his veins, all at once. The gold shone through him and he forget his task for an instant, but only an instant. He quickly regained himself and fought off the pain in his head before staring deep into the vortex in an attempt to find any discrepancy. He flicked his eyes to his watch, almost ironically as he found himself literally surrounded by the particles of time. He wondered if they had a name. Suddenly it came into his mind, the answer to his question, in the form of a memory that wasn't his. They were called Frasheen he didn't know what language it was, but it almost seemed familiar. Like he'd heard it before. A second timeline came forward, it was the language of the Time Lords, it was Gallifreyan. He wanted to find out so much but he had such little time, so he looked and looked for the pink. Finally, after what could have been an infinite amount of time or 3 nanoseconds, he saw it. The pink line cut off in the middle of it's story and all the potential timelines flowing around it. There was a fixed point however, a strong pink wavelength. He reached towards it, only to be horrified. Rose Tyler would return to this universe, she would return to her home and she would live safely with the Doctor. That wasn't the fixed point though, Rose Tyler wouldn't just live here again, she would die. Rose Tyler would die very soon and no one, not even the Doctor, could save her. He didn't have time to follow what happened to her timeline after she died, he found it odd that it kept going but it must just be the people who carry on her memory or whatever happens to be people after they die. He felt a crisis of conscious, he could stop searching and wait to die in hope that Rose wouldn't make it back to her universe or he could find Amy and be responsible for killing her. The Vortex felt his concern and erased it from him, he began to wonder why he hesitated in the first place. He sprinted towards the break in the line as his head began screaming at an unimaginable rate. He saw one thing, then he fell out of the vortex.

"Doctor!" He screamed, and the Doctor threw open the door and ran into the room. "Scotland. Easter of 1996, Scotland." Then Jack collapsed onto the floor and died. He never remembered those ten minutes leading up to his death, couldn't quite recall seeing her face awash in light but still as a rock. The man came back to life without knowing he and the Vortex had just sent an innocent young girl running towards her death.

The Doctor needed something to clear his head from the horrors he had seen, Rassilon and the Master had just gone head to head. Then there was Wilf, Wilf an innocent victim who had declared that the best thing he could do with what was left of his life was protect the Doctor. He hit the airlock button and the door the Doctor planned on entering slammed closed. He pounded and pounded on the door as tears ran down his face, but Wilf held the button down. When Wilf's body began to fail they had both slid to the floor, the Doctor was screaming how stupid he was, how his life wasn't worth it. He was yelling at a corpse. The Doctor needed something beautiful to help him forget. He was sure seeing her just once couldn't hurt the timelines. He decided he needed her now the most, so he placed the coordinates into the TARDIS and set off.

He knew that she couldn't be allowed to see his face, bloody hell even hearing him was pushing the limit, but he had to try. So, he hid in the shadows next to her apartment. He really hadn't meant to let out that rough cough, it had just been an accident. She turned to him, hair flowing in the wind and a scarf following suit.

"You alright, mate?" She asked in a soft voice. His Rose, always making sure everyone else was okay. Her cheeks were flushed pink.

"Yeah." Was the best response he could manage to the woman that he loved. It was the only thing he could say when he saw no recognition in her eyes, no spark that reminded him of what she felt for him.

"Too much to drink?" Rose was hoping it was nothing more serious as she noted the stranger was very handsome, or at least she thought it was. She had some champagne at Jimbo's party and his face was covered in shadows.

"Something like that." He replied softly.

"Maybe it's time you went home." She always did take care of him, even when she didn't realize.

"Yeah." It was a lame answer and he knew he was losing her.

"Anyway, Happy New Year." Panic set in his hearts when he realize she was leaving, but released at the sight of her grin.

"And you." He needed her to stay, just for a few more seconds. He needed her, even if she didn't recognize him. So as she was walking away, he asked quickly, "What year is this?" Her head whipped around and he relaxed slightly that he wasn't alone quite yet.

"Blimey, how much have you had? 2005, January the first." She said the answer like it was obvious, he couldn't wait until she understood why it meant so much.

"2005. Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year." He was fighting off his tears as he shot her a big smile.

"Yeah?" She shot him an enormous smile, "See ya." And while she ran up the stairs to her flat she couldn't help but hope she did see the stranger around. She couldn't quite place the feeling, but it was almost like the two knew each other. Oh well, she was just being silly.

The Doctor stood alone in the bitter cold and watched her walk away. He turned and walked back to the TARDIS. The ship reached out to him as he yet again was enveloped by pain from the loss. How had he let the metacrisis convince him to send her away with him?

Everyone was celebrating in the control room when the Doctor signaled the other Doctor into a separate room. They walked down a short corridor and into a room that they were sure was sound proofed. The metacrisis doctor took a deep breath and looked the original Doctor in the eyes, apologetically.

"You need to send me and Rose to the other universe before the walls close." A regretful set of eyes met a horrified pair, and yet they were the same eyes. Those eyes held the same pain, the same memories, the same.. Well everything. But somehow this one thing was different. The two were carbon copies and the real Doctor knew exactly what the metacrisis was thinking. He knew every argument the man would have prepared, every point he would make, and every rebuttal he would deliver. Worst of all, he knew that he was right, but he couldn't help himself from fighting anyways. She was his rose and no one else's.

"Absolutely not. She is staying right here, with me. I'm her Doctor, not you. You're just some cheap rip off of the original." He spat at the man who was wrapped up in a blue suit with a dark red shirt underneath.

"You know I can give her something better! Me and her… we could live. We could live a real life, we could be together. Not what this is, she's hurting and you're too afraid to say that you love the girl! After everything she's done for you and you can't spit out three little words. Well I know about you Doctor, and you are not the man she needs." The words hit the Time Lord right in his hearts. He has twisted his name into something that stung. He took one of the two things he loved and spat on it. One of the two things he loved, being her Doctor and to be blunt, her. Rose Tyler, the man across from him just claimed that he couldn't love her. Of course he loved her, just because expressing emotions wasn't exactly his forte didn't mean his feelings didn't count. Brown eyes flamed with anger as he prepared to unleash all hell on the other Doctor.

He grabbed the man's blue lapels and shoved him into the wall. "How dare you. How bloody dare you. You weren't there when she needed someone, you never were! But I was." The fury was thick in his words as he began to continue his speech but was cut off by the other man.

"At least I had an actual excuse! Every time she was in pain and you weren't there, which we both know was a lot, you had the chance to help her. And you didn't, because you're a coward, and you could never give her what she deserves. But I'm not like you! I could help her, I could make a life with her." The man in the blue suit was practically begging the one in the pinstripes.

"You could make a life with her, but it wouldn't be what she deserves. Because in all of time I have never met someone who deserved a life in the stars more than Rose Marion Tyler. And you could love her, with all your heart, you really could. But it would never amount to what I feel in the both of mine, and she would never be as loved with you as she would be with me. You want to tell me you're a better match because you're part human? Race doesn't really matter when I love her, in fact it doesn't mean anything at all when she's the light, and the love, of my life." He was breathing heavily by the end of his speech. The metacrisis looked at the Doctor as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Don't make me say it." He begged the pinstriped man. "Please don't make me say it." Another tear fell down his cheek and the Doctor shook his head as tears gathered in his own eyes, he knew this was coming. Still he shook his head in some type of attempt to pretend the obvious reason didn't exist.

"She will never be enough for you." The Doctor stopped at the words and nodded as a tear fell down his cheek. "No matter what she does, you will never make that move. She'll waste her entire life with you, and you will never marry her. She will give you anything that you ask for, and she will never learn your true name." The men both grimaced at the thought of her alone for her entire life. Then on cue they wiped their eyes and cleared their throats.

"So tomorrow we let her decide."

Neither of them heard the quiet sob that came from a girl hiding behind a door the TARDIS had provided. Or maybe they just didn't want to acknowledge their hearts laid out for her. Rose Tyler pressed her head up against the cool wall and let tears slide down her cheeks. How was she supposed to choose? How could he force her to do that?

Jack was asleep in a room the TARDIS had made just for him when the Doctor found himself where he somehow always ended up, Rose's room. The short corridor that lead to his room, with her's right next to it. He looked at the hexagons that covered the hall and wondered why he didn't go back to the circles that he used to prefer on the walls in his earlier regenerations. Memories of Rose jumped into his head and pushed away the thoughts he had been using in an attempt to forget her. He needed to communicate with her again. She said that it had something to do with the telepathic fields, but how could she know about those? The only ones who knew how to project someone into a different location using only telepathic fields were the highest elders of Gallifrey, and the power tended to drive them mad. How in the name of Rassilon had Rose, an ordinary human mind you, done it. He cringed at the thought, Rose was anything but ordinary. If any human could do it, he knew it would be her. Rose could do anything she put her mind to it seems, the girl could do the impossible if she wanted. No, not could, she had done the impossible. She'd traveled through time and space, hopped through universes like a game of hopscotch, had projected a Time Lord into a different dimension with a telepathic field, and most impossible of all, she had sole possession of his hearts.

He had yet to sleep since he last saw her, so he twisted the doorknob and walked into the room. He walked past the fluffy chair with only one shoe on it, stepped over her light blue hoodie that was in a heap on the floor, was careful not to accidentally brush the pink dress off the corner post of her bed, and then laid down. He put his dull red shoes up on the wooden bar that connected one end post of the bed to the other. It was a twin sized bed, which he think the TARDIS did on purpose considering the fact that everyone else who had ever gone aboard had gotten a king. Whenever she had nightmares he had gone to console her, they would lay together in the small bed rather close. He had never had this experience with a companion either, of course he told himself it was different because their rooms were so close so he could hear her when she was upset. All of those were lies, he knew that the TARDIS had done all these things different and he was about to ask her to move the room when Rose had hit him with a grin and yelled out, "We're bunk mates!" Her smile, he couldn't move her away from him.

So with thoughts of the woman he loved, he drifted off to sleep, hoping she would reach him. He didn't have his usual nightmares. The ones that featured Davros and the Cult of Skaro and weeping angels or some other monster taking Rose. He slept quite nicely actually, dreamed of the blonde girl touching his hair, his shoulders, his face. He dreamed of a happy time, one where he truly was the Doctor. He dreamed of the woman who made him into the best version of himself that he could be.

Even in dreams, he knew it wasn't real, but he couldn't bring himself to deny what he saw before him. Her eyes flashed with energy and her cheeks were bright red from the cold. He could tell it was cold because her breath was so warm it fogged up the air she breathed out. Snow clung to her hair and caught in her eyelashes. A smile was so wide on her face it captivated every single cell of his being. This was how he wished he could always remember her. He wished when he dreamt of her it would be times like these. Times when her eyes glowed and her radiance protruded from that of anyone else's. He wanted to remember her when she was in lavish dresses and all done up, he wanted to remember her in sweatpants with damp hair. He wanted to remember her happy. Still, all too often, he dreamt of her in pain. He saw glowing eyes crying from the agony, he saw her faceless, he saw her hopeless and alone by his own doing. He wanted to remember her, but if she died in that other universe because of the metacrisis it would be his undoing. If he hurt her in any way, how could he forgive himself? How could he ever remember her happy when he had watched the man kick down a door with a knife? He opened up his mind while asleep in an attempt to make any contact with her easier for her to complete and he began to feel a slight prod. Here we go. He thought as he sat up and opened his eyes to a completely different world.

Tell me what you think in the comments! Thanks for reading this far!