There are times when Shogo thinks he can feel those arms surrounding him with the warmth he craved as a child. It always takes him a second to realise that Choe Gu Sung is dead, murdered by the system he despised and that has despised him.
Shogo had supposedly given up on love, but somehow, he'd managed to slip past his barriers as easily as he slipped through firewalls. He always kept him close, as a form of security that his secretly lonely person needed. He claimed that he was independent, able to remain detached from everything. Yet, he slipped up with Choe Gu Sung.
Choe Gu Sung, his companion, his aide, and eventually his love. Shogo would never admit the feeling of comfort he had when they were together, talking about the great classics that he loved so much. He'd never break the uncaring façade he held, not even to himself.
There are times when Shogo's hair is swept back by the wind and he thinks that he can feel those hands running through it. At times like those, he stops and feels thankful for bangs that partially hide watery amber eyes.
He remembers so clearly the day that robot threw him that formerly pristine white phone, now stained with blood. He was thankful for his bangs then too, for hiding the momentary slip in his sardonic mask. He hid the devastation until he was alone. Then and only then did he allow a pang of anguish to hit him so badly that he would do anything to avenge his murder.
They call him a psychopath, single-minded and practically unstoppable. Well, they might just be right about that, but they're completely wrong about his motivations. It's not a game to him anymore. It's vengeance, vengeance not only for what the system did to him as a child, but also vengeance for Choe Gu Sung.
There are times when the wind sweeps his hair back and he thinks he can feel those arms around him and hear that voice whispering in his ear.
Those are the times that he abandons the mask and breaks down in tears.
A/N: Okay, I know this is very late and it's not the best time to be posting this in the wake of EP21. I just dug this out of my iPod.
I actually wrote this a while back and forgot about it. Then I saw this gif on Tumblr that pushed me to finish it and add in some stuff that I never thought of before.
I might write a Gino/Masaoka angsty drabble tomorrow if I haven't drowned my sorrows yet.