Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Thank you Lanie for your guidance. Without it, this would still be a jumbled mess.
"Lee, go home and get some sleep, man. Did you get any sleep at all while you were in Germany or were you too busy with that Fräulein, what was her name again, Christina?" Billy laughed at seeing the look of pain cross Lee's face.
Lee unconsciously rubbed his neck but shook his head to clear the memory. "That was hardly worth the two weeks in the neck brace. Anyway, she's married now and I don't chase skirts around Europe anymore. I've...matured."
"You mean you've settled down." Billy replied. Seeing Lee's mouth open to deny the rumors once again, Billy held up his hand and continued. "Speaking of which, have you spoken to Amanda yet? She was very concerned with you making all of your check ins."
"I was on zero contact Billy, you know that. I haven't had any communication with Amanda or anyone else in three weeks. When we wrapped it up, I hightailed it back here. I wanted to give you my report and head to bed." Yeah, he thought, bed with my wife, it's been too long. "You know Amanda, she hates being chained to a desk almost as much as I do." Chains, hhhmmm Lee leaned back in the chair and scanned the bullpen. Though it was almost 11:00 p.m., he had hoped to find Amanda scurrying around offering her help to the agents with the overnight shift. He hated not seeing his wife for three weeks.
"Well, she wasn't stuck behind the desk at all." Watching Lee's face darken with worry, Billy smiled. "Don't worry Lee, I had her helping Francine coordinate security for the shindig the Vice President is throwing tomorrow night. She'll be happy you're back to escort her. I'm assuming you won't mind even though you have the next three days off."
"Three days, Billy?" Lee questioned "I'll be in on Monday."
"Well, if you want, but I told Amanda to take Monday off after all the overtime she has put in lately. You might as well take the day too since your partner won't be here."
Lee smiled, "Thanks Billy, I'll take Monday to help catch up on my sleep and run some errands. I'm sure there is nothing to eat in my apartment and I need to do laundry. You know what it's like." I wonder if Amanda told Dotty she was off on Monday. We could spend the day together, alone, catching up, hhhmmm chains.
"You know if you were married, your wife would do all of that for you." Billy laughed as Lee got up from the chair, shot him a look and left the office.
I really should go home and catch Amanda in the morning. Lee thought as he got into his car parked in the garage. She'll be so happy to have me escort her to the gala tomorrow night. Now that our family knows me, I can actually pick her up and take her out. Maybe I should rent a limo so I can keep both hands on Amanda. Maybe Joe will take the boys for the night. He and Carrie should be back from their honeymoon by now. Maybe it's time to tell everyone about our marriage. I hate that I can't drive to our home and crawl into our bed after being away for three weeks. Hell, if the agency knew, I probably wouldn't have been sent away for three weeks. So here I go back to my lonely apartment and my cold bed while my wife is across the bridge all tucked into bed, so warm, so soft, so inviting.
Lee pulled into a parking spot on the street and turned off the engine. Taking the keys from the ignition, he opened the door and achingly dragged his tall body from the driver's seat. After the long flight across the Atlantic, the hot shower he took at the Agency did little to relax the muscles in his back. It wasn't until he started up the walkway did he realize that he had driven to Amanda's.
Smiling he thought, Why not? It won't be the first time I've snuck into her bedroom for a midnight rendezvous. He snuck to the back of the house and looked through the windows to make sure the boys weren't raiding the refrigerator. Confident that the occupants were all tucked safely in their beds Lee opened the back door with the key Amanda had given him last year. After removing his shoes, he maneuvered through the maze of furniture and up the stairs managing to miss the two squeaky steps. He walked by Amanda's partially opened door and Dotty's closed one before peeking into the boys' room. Both Phillip and Jamie were fast asleep and knowing those two, it would take an explosion to wake them up. He crept back past Dotty's room and slipped inside Amanda's room, closing the door behind him. Lee quietly shed his clothes, dropping them to the floor as he approached the bed.
She's sleeping on my side of the bed. She must have missed me. Lee thought as he gently drew back the covers and lowered himself onto the mattress as close to Amanda as he could get. Wow, she's wearing a flannel nightie, she must have missed me keeping her warm. Lee partially covered her body with his and whispered against her neck as his hand explored her breast. "Oh God, wife, I have missed you."
"WIFE!" Dotty screamed at the same time bringing her knee up swiftly.
"Aaagggghhhh." Lee's painful cry echoed through the house as he tumbled to the floor.
Amanda hearing her mother's scream came running in from the bathroom carrying her hairdryer as a weapon. She flicked on the light just as Joe and Carrie burst through the bedroom door followed closely behind by Phillip and Jamie. All eyes were on Lee lying naked on the floor clutching his groin hoping to relieve some of the pain Dotty had inflicted on him.
"Lee," Amanda exclaimed shocked at seeing her husband writhing in pain. She grabbed her bathrobe from the foot of her bed and covered him. "What are you doing here?"
"He came to grope his wife." Dotty angrily stated. "Did the two of you elope or is this some kind of game you play regularly, the housewife and the second story man?"
"Mother!"
"Joe, I think we should get the boys back to bed and leave these three alone to work this out." Carrie whispered as she tried to push her laughing husband out of the room. When he wouldn't move she asked. "Why is this so amusing to you?"
Amanda looked up from the floor where she knelt next to Lee to see Joe leaning heavily against the door frame doubled over, laughing. Catching his eye, she found herself joining him.
Once he gained some composure, Joe looked at Amanda and asked "What is it about your mother that your husbands keep crawling naked into bed with her." Dotty joined Joe and Amanda in their merriment as the boys pushed past their father in the doorway to stand over Lee. "Did you marry mom?" Phillip asked. "Are you our stepfather?" Jamie quarried.
Carrie turned to Joe, "Did you crawl into bed with Dotty?"
With the pain subsiding, Lee decided he need to take control over the situation. He slipped on Amanda's robe and stood up. "Boys, yes to both of your questions. Your mother and I will answer all of your questions in the morning, but for now, go to bed. Joe, please take your wife into Dotty's room and explain to her how you ended up in bed with Dotty. He continued to stare down all four of them until they all went back to their rooms and presumably to bed. Closing the door, he then reached for his wife and helped her from the floor.
"Will you please explain why Dotty is in our bed, why Joe and Carrie are sleeping here and exactly what Joe meant by your husbands crawling naked into bed with your mother?" Lee demanded.
Taking a quick breath, Amanda rambled quickly hoping to defuse the situation.. "Joe and Carrie are here because Carrie set their kitchen on fire tonight while making dinner. The boys were staying with them so they could head to Carrie's parents' house tomorrow morning for a family reunion. After the fire, they brought the boys home and were going to stay at a hotel nearby and pick the boys up first thing in the morning but mother suggested they stay in her room and she could sleep in here with me. As for Joe crawling into bed with Mother, it happened when Joe was first traveling. Mother had her house fumigated and stayed here for a couple of days. We didn't have a spare room back then since the boys each had their own bedrooms so mother slept with me. Joe came home unexpectedly and the same thing that happened tonight pretty much happened then."
Dotty looked from Lee to Amanda as she got out of bed hurt evident in her eyes. "Now that you have explained everything to Lee, I think you both owe me an explanation." Looking at Lee, Dotty continued, "What did you mean by wife and telling the boys that you and Amanda are married and you are their stepfather. That can't be true. Amanda would have told me."
"Mother, I'm sorry.' Amanda looked at the floor afraid to see the disappointment in her mother's eyes. "Yes, Lee and I are married and have been since February. There is a very good reason why I never told you and I promise that I will tell you everything but please let me talk to Lee privately for a few minutes." Amanda pleaded with Dotty.
"Everything? From the exact time that you met Lee, to where you disappear to at all hours of the night and what exactly you do for a living." Watching both Amanda and Lee's eyes widen with surprise, Dotty knew she was correct so she continued "I've known for a long time that you've been lying to me. I've also known that there was a man that kept sneaking around our house trying to steal a few moments alone with you. As for your job, I figured you are working for one of those secret agencies that make you lie to your family for national security reasons. Why else would you lie to me.". Dotty stated matter-of-factly.
Picking up her robe from the bottom of the bed, Dotty started towards the door. "Now, I will grant you five minutes alone with Lee and then let the poor man crawl into the bed and get some sleep but give him aspirin first, I suspect that he'll be in some pain tomorrow. I'll be waiting downstairs with some tea. I think we are in for a long night. Tomorrow morning, you can both explain to the boys at breakfast." She stopped as she was closing the door behind her and turned back to her daughter with a broad smile and a quick wink. "Oh Amanda, congratulations, I'm very happy for you, Darling and having now been groped by both of your husbands, I think you've traded up."