PG-13 Oops, I said 'fuck'. Oh darn.

Slash J/D

Notes: This fic is a mixture of not enough sleep, Frou Frou, Poe, and Secretary. Read at your own will.

Disclaimer: As much as I beg and plead, I have yet to find Jack and Daniel under my Christmas tree. So, for now they belong to somebody else. That is, until they sell their souls to moi.

I don't know what I'm doing here. Standing on Jack's doorstep, I consider turning around, hoping back into my car, and forgetting I was weak enough to actually drive over here. Then I see the way Jack looks at me. The way his eyes bore into me, reaching my soul, moving me in a way I've never felt before. And that's why I stay, standing right in front of his door, probably creeping out his neighbors.

I've probably felt like this since I met the guy. He just has that effect on people. You just look at him and fall head over heels in love. Maybe it's the eyes, or the way he smiles when he cracks a joke, the way he does his hair, and doesn't care about all the grey. The way he looks at you when he's annoyed, when you know you've done something wrong, but you don't care, because you get that look from him and it melts you. It's because of all of that and more that I'm standing at his door, and have been for the past twenty minutes. If I don't do something soon, I worry that one of his neighbors might call the cops. What will I tell them? Sorry officer, I'm just a big baby because I can't knock on a door or ring a doorbell. But don't worry; I don't plan on killing the man inside. Just fucking him senseless. If he'll let me. Yeah. That will go over well. Maybe I should just get this over with. It's almost ten o'clock at night. He might want to get to bed soon. So, after another five minutes of deliberating, I rang the doorbell. He was quick to answer.

"I was beginning to wonder how long you were going to stand there." He knew I was here? That bastard. He has a beer in one hand, a mug in the other. Stepping off to the side, he lets me in, and hands me the mug as I walk past. It's coffee. He made me coffee. I love this man.

I went in and sat on the couch, resting my elbows on my legs, staring down at the cup in my hands. I felt the couch sink in next to me; I could smell him mere inches away. We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then he ruined it.

"So... You gonna tell me why you were standing outside in forty degree weather for half an hour?" Was it really that cold? Huh, didn't realize. I should probably say something to him soon. But what? How do you tell the man you've worked with for years that you're madly in love with him, that you want to drag him into the bedroom and have your way with him, you want to wake up in the morning, wrapped in his arms, and eat waffles together, sit outside at night watching the stars, do crossword puzzles by the fire. Are there really words for all that? I think he's giving me a weird look. I haven't said anything in fifteen minutes. I haven't looked at him since I grabbed the mug. I think I'm scaring him. Maybe I should say something.

"Jack. I-"have no clue what to say. I think I looked troubled, because he put his hand on my arm; I'm the one who moved so it was hand to hand. Why did I do that? Maybe because I was sure he felt the same way about me in that moment. Okay, so I wasn't completely sure. It was a 90/10 feeling. 75/25 at the most. Okay, I was 10 sure. And it was a weak 10. He did this stuff all the time to somebody in the group. He acted like our father, brother, a nice guy to have around. So when I finally looked into his eyes, I was shocked at what I saw. I saw that look before. From a person who was madly in love with me, who would have given their life to save mine. So maybe I can tell him. It's not like I haven't felt this way before, it should be easy, right? Well, I've never felt like this, and it was the farthest thing from easy. I would rather fight a system lord than tell Jack this. What if I was way off, what if he didn't love me back, and I just ruined one of the best things that ever happened to me. What if he was freaked out by the thought of us, together, because I have to admit, I'm beginning to question my sanity. Jack is the first man to make me feel this...alive. So why the hell couldn't I tell him? Just look him in the eye, open your mouth, and say

"Jack, I..."come on, say it! "I..."spit it out, already! "I need more coffee." Dumbass. And what does Jack do. He looks...disappointed? No, that can't be right. He nods though, and starts to get up. But I swore I saw that look, like he just got some of the worst news of his life, so I grasp harder onto his hand, and pull him down.

"That's not what I was going to say."

"Really?" God, he's giving me that look. He's annoyed with me, probably for dragging this out for longer than it should have been, but I think he's also relieved. Because I'm about to change his life forever, no doubt. So, here goes.

"Jack. I love you." There, I said it! And Jack...Jack freaking laughs! The man's over there grinning, chuckling, and still holding onto my hand. That's good, right? Don't let go, don't let go, don't let go. He doesn't let go, instead, he pulls my hand tighter, up to his mouth. He kisses my knuckles, all the while staring at me, his eyes getting darker. With lust. Yey. He loves me back. 100 now. My tongue goes out to lick my lips, and he looks at that. With his free hand, he grabs the coffee mug from my hand and places it on the table next to us.

I've dreamt of this moment a million times. How he takes both my hands in his, looks me in the eyes, leans in, and kisses me like it's our last kiss. So of course Jack shocks me by doing just that. Then, with his arms, he pushes me back, puts his legs on each side of my hips, and he's still kissing me. One can only imagine what happens next.

Jack looks up at me from his place between my arm and chest. He was lazily drawing patterns on the bare skin of my stomach. It felt good, so why'd he stop?

"I love you, too." Oh, okay. I forgive him. I ran my hand through his hair, pondering something, nothing, everything. We eventually moved to his bed, which was better than the couch, and that spot in the hallway when we just got impatient. It feels so good here, I don't ever want to leave. We will have to go to work eventually. But we still have...five hours. We have an early mission, so we really should get some rest. Then we can have those waffles in the morning. With whipped cream. And after breakfast, we'll have to take a shower. We wouldn't want the people of PX4-539 to think we were a smelly race, would we? With thoughts of our upcoming morning in my mind, I slowly drift off to sleep, still playing with Jack's hair. I can hear his breath evening out as well, and soon both of us are out for the count. I hope he remembered to set the alarm.

I'm slowly pulled awake by the smell of coffee. I open my eyes and see Jack standing at the end of the bed, a tray in his hands. I grin, seeing a can of whipped cream. All of my dreams are slowly coming true, and it's like Jack can read my mind. He places the tray on the night table, and slowly crawls up the bed, meeting me with the most wonderful kiss a person could wake up to. As our tongues collide, I don't even notice that he grabbed the can of whipped cream, so it shocks me when all of a sudden my chest feels cold. He's drawing a line from the base of my neck down to my hips. When he's done, he gives me an evil grin and leans down to start licking. Oh god, does this guy ever have a tongue. I want to grip the sheets, but he's got my hands pinned up above my head. I swear he's going to slowly kill me if he keeps this up.

We did eventually move to the shower. Did things, said things that one usually only does if they're looking to get paid for it. I never knew Jack had all of this in him. We were in the shower long enough that the water ended up running cold. We took our time getting dressed, held hands in the car ride to the base. We both knew that once we got there, none of this would ever have happened. We'd forget about the feel of flesh on flesh, the taste of each other, the feeling of contentment. I think that's what made me want him more. The fact that this was one big secret. I couldn't just take a break during my work to go kiss him senseless in the supply closet. I had to hurry through my translations so we could leave earlier. Try to find a way to sneak off during a mission. Up there, the Stargate was a secret. Down here, it was love. I could proclaim to the world that I loved this man, but down below, underground, it was all hush hush. Love? What? No, Jack wouldn't ruin his career like that, sorry. We're breaking rules, and that helps fuel our passion. Not that we really need any help. But I've never felt like this with anybody else, so I think that this might be the real thing. My one true love, soul mate, my raison d'être. I hope Jack feels the same way.

I told him all of that the other day. I was nervous about doing it, as we had really only been together for two weeks. But I did it, and I held my breath as I waited for his response. He gave me that lust filled look again, and he showed me he felt the same way. He told me later, but that didn't matter. This was the real thing, for both of us. We could have a happily ever after, ride off into the sunset on a white horse, have sappy orchestral music backing us as we did it. We were almost a regular Disney flick. Almost. We were still a giant secret. Neither of us minded, really. We liked what we had, we didn't need to tell everybody. So we kept our secret. For a long time.

I really thought that if it was a secret for long enough, we'd lose something, and it would all unravel and we'd be over. We'd each walk our separate ways, never tell anybody of our six month "weakness". Continue together on the team, but it'd only be just that. Two members of SG-1. That's all we'd ever be. Which is why our one year anniversary surprised me. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. So when Jack got home that night, half an hour after I did, he found me in the kitchen, opening a bottle of wine. I pulled him outside, and there was an old fashioned tub, claw feet and all, sitting on his back porch. It was filled with water, and there was a table next to it. We watched the stars that night, drinking wine, and celebrating an entire year of love. As it was nearing the midnight hour, Jack reached over for his pants. I thought he wanted to get out, but no, he had a surprise for me. He handed me a small velvet box, and in it was a simple silver band, no design on it, but it meant everything to me.

"I don't ever want to leave this. So promise me that you'll be with me forever, and I'll promise you that I'll be yours. Forever." God can this guy ever make me cry. I looked at the inside of the ring, and sure enough, it was inscribed with 'Forever'. Damn. I put it on, my left ring finger. We made love, right there in the tub. It wasn't until we were in bed, his arm resting on my stomach, that I realized he had a ring on too. The guy knew I'd say yes. Bastard. It just made me love him more.

We had one of those togetherness ceremonies in the park the following summer. The rest of SG-1 was there, as well as Janet, George, and Cassie. Heck, even Sara, Jack's ex-wife was there. Since we couldn't actually get married, it was just sort of a pact that we'd be together until the end of time. That was fine by us. We didn't need a piece of paper telling us that we loved each other. That's why we have hearts. Hearts that beat wildly whenever we look at each other, when he breathes in my ear, whenever we think of each other. Yeah, that's what love is. Love is us.

I always fear that I'll wake up some day in my own bed, in my apartment, with no Jack. All of it was just a dream, and in reality it's not me Jack loves. Maybe that's why I hold him tight when we fall asleep. I don't want to wake up and realize that none of this is real. I don't want to wake up and find the ring gone, the smell of him, the taste, the touch, him. I need him, and he needs me. This thing between us, it's the forever deal, so I should get past my fears. He's not leaving me, this is real. We're living the life. Until the day we die. It's Jack and Daniel. Daniel and Jack. Forever.