He was probably late already, but being on time would have been a crime against nature
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Summary: He was already so late, why bother showing up at all?
It's a Wonderful Life I
He was probably late already, but being on time would have been a crime against nature. He was taking the long way, but it didn't really matter. They would probably start fifteen minutes after they said they would anyway. His name was towards the bottom of the list, so really he'd be early.
When he came to the apex of the long, narrow wooden bridge, he turned to look over the wide brook beneath it. It was pretty with clear water running over large smooth stones.
Graduation. Gra. Joo... Aytion. Graduation.
Soon he would be going to college, getting a job, getting married, having kids, maybe even starting an elicit affair with some hot mama. He laughed at the thought.
As some unknown source brought him out of his reverie, Chris rushed to his school, where the ceremony would be held.
It's a Wonderful Life II
College, he decided, was awkward. He had never known a transvestite before, and now he was actually rooming with one. It was awkward, especially since this transvestite seemed very fond of the idea of getting into Chris's pants. Chris was not okay with this.
It's a Wonderful Life III
He was fairly popular (so what if all of his friends were shallow?), an actual starter on the football team (it didn't really matter that he hated his position), with an amazing girlfriend (who cares if she basically slept with every single one of his team mates?)
He figured with enough time, practice, and care, everything would turn out the way he wanted it to.
It's a Wonderful Life IV
He worked as a lawyer in his father's firm and was getting married in three weeks to his high school sweet heart. He was excited and anxious, and he wasn't sure if he was actually ready to go through with the ceremony. But he loved her and knew that they belonged together, so why wait? Just because he had a slight fear of commitment didn't mean he couldn't handle marriage.
It's a Wonderful Life V
Their first week together as husband and wife was amazing. She was amazing.
It's a Wonderful Life VI
Their first month together as husband and wife was a total and complete nightmare. Sure the first week had been great, but when they got back from their honeymoon, they couldn't stop arguing! It was so frustrating.
Her friends were always over, but she wouldn't let him hang out with his old college friends 'cause "they're not exactly a good group of people." He scoffed at the mere suggestion. They were freakin' amazing! He'd known some of those guys since elementary, and he viewed them as brothers. The hell they weren't a "good group."
Like her friends were any better?! They were always talking! Talk! Talk! Talk! He couldn't even think with them always buzzing about. But they didn't just "talk." No, they gossiped and complained. They insulted him to his face! They talked about how she could have done better. How the house was too small if they were going to have kids (KIDS?! What the hell?! They JUST got married! He wasn't ready to think about kids!)
They were just bitches, plain and simple. If he couldn't have his friends, then she couldn't have hers!
It's a Wonderful Life VII
He wasn't sure how it had happened, but eventually all of his old friends were replaced by co-workers and his wife's friends' husbands. And they discussed business and children. Everyone seemed to be in this huge contest to see who could have the most kids, the most talented kids, the smartest kids, the prettiest kids. It was ridiculous, and he wanted no part in it.
It's a Wonderful Life VIII
But soon enough, his wife got pregnant, and they were forced to join in the competition. Luckily for him, his wife was gorgeous, and he was a registered genius.
It's a Wonderful Life IX
His children were amazing. With blonde hair and blue eyes, his twin daughters were a sight to behold. They looked just like their mother. He couldn't be more proud (even if she had given birth to sons).
It's a Wonderful Life X
His daughters had been put in a boarding school that would help attune them to their gifts and talents. His wife was working later hours, and he was getting more cases. He felt alienated from his family, so was it so surprising when he looked for love else where?
Too bad he didn't take into account his neighbor's guilty conscience. She told his wife everything – from the first time she had a thought about him to the last time they had sex.
His wife kicked him out with only divorce papers to comfort him.
It's a Wonderful Life XI
So maybe it was better this way with a bullet in his shoulder and his head cracked on smooth stones. His arm was broken, but that was probably the least of his problems. Passed out from the fall and the pain, Christopher Robin died in a wide brook beneath a long, narrow bridge.