Rest In Peace

Rick sat up in bed watching Michonne sleep with his arm closest to her stretched casually across her lower back. She always slept on her stomach with her face in his direction. With the uncertainty of their future constantly before them, there were so many things he wanted to say, needed to say to her. He looked at her and wondered if they had met before the world ended, would they be this close. He knew he would have been attracted to her, but he probably never would have been able to see who she was inside, not completely like he has now. It really does take a crisis to bring out the very best, or worst in people.

Something was about to happen, that he had a hand in, which threatens to destroy them all. He could hear Bob's words telling him that this was the way it was meant to happen. How burdened he had felt and totally hopeless, but for her. He thanked God for her because his life with her was beyond what he deserved. His mother always told him that good and perfect gifts only come from God, and he was looking at his. Just to have this person in his life at this time could only be described as a good and perfect gift.

He suffered from traumatic stress, and was suited now primarily for war. Maybe that's what all the fighting and surviving had been for; preparing him for the war that was coming. Michonne helped him make peace with his stress a long time ago as she had been there herself, and recognized it in him.

"You okay?"

She nearly startled him and he quickly wiped the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

"What are you doing up?" He said rubbing her back in an attempt to draw attention away from the thick emotion in his voice. "Go back to sleep."

"You know I can tell when you have trouble sleeping." She said rubbing her eyes. "What's on your mind?" She said sitting up so she could see his face.

"What I usually think about when I can't sleep and you can."

She knew the only time he had trouble sleeping was when he was worried about her, the children or the safety of the group. She sat facing him with her knees pulled up to her chin.

"What is it?" She asked.

"We're going to war Michonne, and I want to send Judith to the Kingdom to stay with Carol."

Michonne reached over and turned on the light on her side of the bed.

"Okay. Why are you worried about me?"

"Because I don't want to leave anything unsaid between us."

"Like what?"

"I'm worried about getting killed and leaving you alone. I don't want you mourning me."

"How could you ask me not to?"

"I wouldn't want you to be sad without me to comfort you."

She looked at him and frowned.

"That's really sweet, but I would mourn you no matter what you say to me; probably more so because of what you're telling me now. You've helped me to be able to see who I am again. I owe you at least to wear black for the rest of my life." She said jokingly.

He smiled sadly and shook his head.

"Queen Victoria did it for the man she loved." She said.

"Don't you think that's a bit extreme?"

"Not if you love someone with your whole heart, and that person is so much a part of you that when they die, you die a little too."

He nodded thoughtfully and played with her toes.

"Well, I love you with my whole heart, and you're so much a part of me that if you died, I would die a little too."

"I know that." She said looking down at him squeezing one of her feet with his hand.

"I'm not sure how long we'll survive, but I'll always be with you."

"I know that too. She said finally looking up at him. "The uncertainty of things have always been just that, uncertain. The way things are now is out of order, and because of that, bad people are running around doing the worse things imaginable, and we have to do everything we can to protect the people we care about. There has always been good and evil, and this is no different, it's just on a smaller more personal scale. I know you love me, and will do whatever you need to do to protect us. The world may or may not get better Rick, but we have friends who want what we want. We won't be alone."

"Michonne I can't ask you..."

The look on her face made him stop what he was about to say.

"You've never asked me." Michonne got off the bed and stood by it. She was so upset tears started falling from her eyes. "You've never had to, so you can't tell me now that you don't want to ask me to follow you into a war."

"Michonne."

"Don't turn me into someone you feel you need to protect. You know better than I do how dangerous that can be. I was on my own out there before I met you. I have had to watch my own back." She stopped and shook her head. "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten married." She said looking him solidly in the face.

Rick got out of the bed and stormed over to where she stood.

"You can't be serious." He said looking in her eyes.

His look was so piercing that it almost made her regret having said it, but she stood her ground.

She touched his arm and her face and tone softened.

"I'm still the fighter by your side, but now you're doing something I was afraid you would do."

"What's that?" He said clearly confused.

"You're treating me differently because I'm your wife." She said calmly.

"How am I supposed to treat you? I love you, and I want you safe."

"You know no one is safe anymore. Our love life is contained and thrives within the 4 walls of this house, and deep in our hearts. Out there, you and me, we are tools; a gun and a sword. Do you understand me?"

He looked in her eyes and saw her steadfastness and unconditional love for him.

"Yes I understand." He said matching the look she held in her eyes.

"Whatever happens in the future or whatever we have to do, don't ever forget that Rick. We need to survive, and to do that we have to leave how we feel here or we won't make it, but we're going to make it, you'll see to that."

Suddenly, as usual, she had totally disarmed him without firing a shot. All the bravado, and machismo on his part was gone. She had a way of tearing him down, only to build him back up so masterfully.

He hesitantly reached out and took her left hand in his hand, and kissed her ring finger. She leaned in the rest of the way and put her arms around his waist.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear.

"I love you." She said squeezing him tightly.

He kissed her deeply and held her tightly against his chest. He broke the kiss and gazed into her beautiful eyes and said.

"Rest in peace my love. We're going to war."