AN: The preview for 6.24 grabbed hold of me and would not let go.
Red drops on white rose petals…
Life is in the blood. The most vital fluid in the human body, its rapid and continuous loss will cause a drop in body temperature, rapid heart beat, shock, unconsciousness, and eventually…death.
Scarlet streaks running down a white wedding dress…
"Sir, are you alright?"
I raise my head and realize I'm standing in the middle of the hospital hallway. I try to focus my eyes and see a motherly nurse before me, looking at me with concern.
"Sir, are you hurt?" she asks again.
I look down at my hands which are covered with blood. My white shirt has smears of red on it. "I wish it was mine," I think as I shake my head no.
"Maybe you'd like to cleanup a little? There's a bathroom right down the hall." she tells me, pointing to a door a few feet away.
I nod passively and slowly walk to the bathroom, leaning on the door and pushing it open with my shoulder. I move to the sink and look at the reflection in the mirror. The fear, worry and sadness I see covering the man's face seems incongruous with the excitement, anticipation and happiness that I awoke with this morning. How could such a wonderful day have gone so horribly wrong so fast?
A woman lying on the floor in a crimson pool…
I reach to turn on the water and see that blood has seeped under my ring. A ring that was joyfully placed there less than twelve hours earlier. I pull it off and lay it on the counter.
I squirt the soap and begin to rub my hands while my mind jumps back to another time I had her blood on my hands. My blue shirt was tied around her leg in an attempt to stop the flow that was causing the stain on the carpet to grow. When she spoke of her feelings and leaned in to kiss me, I sensed she was saying her goodbyes and my anxiety increased. I gathered my courage and lifted her, not caring for my own safety, armed only with the thought that I could not let her die. As I opened the library doors and stepped into the hallway, I had never been so scared….until today.
The man drops down beside her…
I scrub my hands harder and faster, using more soap, more water as I try to remove the memories from my mind. I begin to tremble and tears run down my cheeks. I stumble back against the wall and slide down onto floor, my head on my knees. Great sobs shake my body and my breath catches in my chest. I am engulfed in sorrow, with one thought on a constant loop, "I could loose them both today."
A cry of anguish pierces the air…
My wife and my child, both could be gone before I ever had time to know them. Our wedding day, the baby's birthday and their death date could all be one and the same. We knew it was a possibility, that the risks of the pregnancy were severe. But she convinced me to have faith and hope for the best and I hid my fears away, watching in wonder and awe as the baby grew strong sheltered in her body.
I lean my head against the wall, remembering the excitement in her voice when she called to tell me the good news. The way her green eyes sparkled when someone asked about the baby and the loving caresses she gave her expanding stomach. The slight uncertainty in her voice when she wondered if she would be a good mom and the way her face brightened when I told her I knew she'd be the best mom ever.
He clutches her limp body to his chest…
Peyton is the strongest person I've ever known. She's lived thru grief and overcome more obstacles than anyone should ever have to face. When her mind is made up, there's no talking her down. She wants this baby with a fierce hunger that overwhelms me. Even in the face of terrible odds, she rejected any other options. My admiration and love for her increased a hundredfold as she refused to give up. I know she was facing her worst fear, that her child would grow up without a mother like she did. She created a memory box filled with drawings, pictures, music and videos for the baby to know her by as it grew. At first, I resisted and fought her efforts, thinking it was a sign that she was surrendering to doubt. But as I looked at our whole life's history she had gathered together, all I could see was love flowing back to me and our child.
He gently lifts her in his arms…
My tears have stopped and my breathing returns to normal. I stand to my feet and go back to the sink. I pick up my wedding ring and carefully wash it clean, sliding it back to its rightful place on my left hand. I splash some water on my face and wipe it dry.
I look at myself in the mirror. I still see the strain of the day on my face, but Peyton's love is giving me strength. I take a deep breath and square my shoulders as I hear her voice assuring me, "Luke, it's going to be okay."
He carries her thru the house to the door and outside to find the help she needs…
As I open the bathroom door and step into the hallway, I'm still scared. Armed once again with the thought that I will not let them die, I stride forward to reclaim my wife and child.