A/N: Shout-out to specialminds for helping me get through writer's block, and rewrite this chapter more smoothly, so please check out their fanfic Fonttale, and if you're an artist, Fonttale needs more fanart! Thank you! (Also, Pappy is such a numbskull!)
Chapter one: Ad Pulverum
Papyrus strode quickly across the slick stone, eager to leave Waterfall and get home to make spaghetti for Sans, when a piercing shriek caused him to falter for a moment. It resounded throughout the area and turning the corner in frightened curiosity, Papyrus saw what looked like a tiny flower...dusting a lone Woshua.
The skeleton gasped in shocked horror, drawing the murderous plant's attention. It twisted itself around in order to get a good look at its audience, its triumphant smirk fading into a hateful sneer upon seeing him. Gathering his courage, Papyrus composed himself and spoke, "FLOWER! WHY IS THE WOSHUA DUST?"
The Flower didn't respond.
"WAS IT HURT? Y-YOU MUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE IT YES? YES, THAT'S IT! THAT MUST BE IT!"
"..."
"SURELY YOU... WERE NOT THE ONE TO PUT IT IN THAT STATE… RIGHT?"
The Flower still didn't respond, making the trainee even more nervous than he was previously. Not that the Great Papyrus was giving up mind you...
"FLOWER, I AM… CONFUSED. WHAT... WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" he asked, dread filling his non-existent stomach.
The flower rolled its eyes, annoyed with the skeleton's naivety it bit out, "I killed it you moron. Down here it's kill or be killed, got it? And my name is fucking Flowey, NOT Flower!"
This flower, Flowey...is a murderer...?
Why?
What did the Woshua do?
Papyrus looked down at the dust sadly.
Does that creature even care? Perhaps... perhaps Flowey does not understand what he has done.
I should inform him, yes I MUST inform him. He needs to learn the difference between right and wrong and who better than the Great Papyrus to teach him? Nyeh heh heh!
"FLOWEY! IT SEEMS YOU DO NOT QUITE UNDERSTAND THE SEVERITY OF YOUR ACTIONS! THOUGH I AM SURE YOU WERE ONLY PLAYING, YOU MUST BE GENTLE; FOR YOU SEE, WHEN A MONSTER IS DUST, THEY GO ON VACATION FOREVER AND THEY DON'T RETURN ANY OF YOUR PHONE CALLS OR LETTERS!"
Flowey looked at Papyrus suspiciously. Was this skeleton really that stupid, or did he think he was five? Was he messing with him?!
"Wowie, there really IS someone stupider than Smiley Trashbag! Congratulations on being the imbecile of the century!" said Flowey doing a little dance.
Papyrus shook his head in disappointment. "NO NO NO, THAT'S ALL WRONG! *SIGH* SINCE YOU DO NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF BEING FRIENDLY, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL BE YOUR FIRST FRIEND!"
Flowey looked at him, his jaw practically dropping to the floor.
He's GOT to be kidding me. That passive-aggressive piece of-
"I'M NOT STUPID TRASHBAG!" yelled Flowey angrily. "AND I FREAKING HAVE FRIENDS!"
"NO, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY VERY LONELY, BUT FEAR NOT! I, PAPYRUS, MASTER OF ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP, SHALL TEACH YOU HOW TO REFRAIN FROM HARMING OTHERS! NOW COME, I MUST INTRODUCE YOU TO THE WONDERS OF FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI!"
"I DON'T WANT YOUR SPAGHETTI! I WANT YOU TO APOLOGIZE TRASHBAG!"
Papyrus began to walk out of Waterfall.
"HEY! DON'T YOU FREAKING IGNORE ME, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!"
The skeleton barely heard him as he was deep in thought. What would Sans do in this situation?
He would go on about Flowey's KILLER personality and how he DUSTED the competition. He'd say something about how he left his friend in the dust or about how I'm WEEDING too much into the situation...
"GET BACK HERE!"
He'd say I should just LEAF before I wind up in too deep, or that I should try and get to the ROOT of the problem since all the issues are STEMMING from Flowey...
Papyrus winced and shook his head frantically. "OH NO, HE'S RUBBING OFF ON ME! GRRAAH! GOD DAMN IT SANS!"
"I HOPE YOU SAVE ROOM FOR SOME DELICIOUS FRIENDLINESS PELLETS BONEHEAD, CAUSE' LAST I CHECKED, FRIENDS SHARE!"
Wowie!
Flowey's learning already!
Papyrus smiled happily and skipped the rest of the way to Snowdin, stopping ever so often for his new friend Flowey to catch up.