Nii-sama!
It was the last thing she remembered.
As a soldier, as a shinigami, she knew in her head that to turn away from your opponent during battle was the height of foolishness. It was suicidal.
But the moment she'd noticed that slight dark feeling to Senbonzakura's power and the subsequent faltering in her brother's reiatsu, what she knew in her head didn't matter.
She had turned heel immediately, running for him. In a calmer time she might have realized that anyone who could cut her brother down would crush her with less effort, but she had to do something. Anything.
When the Quincy attacked her from behind, and she'd been momentarily pulled out of her panic, she'd suddenly understood.
As she lay crumpled against the rubble of the Seireitei, the pain in her heart mixing terribly with the arm crunched underneath her, her crushed bones and bleeding limbs, she thought 'Oh. This is why. This is why Nii-sama never acts on "the heart".'
"Kuchiki-fukutaichou and Abarai-fukutaichou have reached stable condition, Hirako-taichou."
"Aa, thanks for yer hard work. Guess I'll go get Ichigo in here."
Rukia slowly woke up, vaguely registering a distant beeping, stiffness in her arms and legs, something on her face…and what had that voice said? "Stable"…?
'4th Squad,' she realized, 'That's right…I was attacked. I lost that battle. And Nii-sama…' her heart clenched painfully. Was he alright? He survived, didn't he?
'Of course he did, you fool,' she admonished herself, 'This is Nii-sama. He can't lose. He's stronger than everyone else. Others might get panic or get scared when facing such an opponent, but not Nii-sama…' And yet the ill feeling in her chest didn't disappear.
She opened her eyes. Or she tried to. It didn't take her long to notice that her vision was half-obstructed, a bandage covering her right eye. But she could still see Renji out of the corner of her left, and it eased some of the anxiety, 'Good. At least I can see for sure that Renji's alright.' And that thought spurred another, almost inciting a smile, 'And if Renji is here breathing, then of course Nii-sama is. There's no question. Good.'
Suddenly Rukia heard voices and footsteps coming from the hall, and she strained to hear what they were saying.
"…had to operate directly, so we sutured the reishi in the most critical areas."
'That has to be Hirako-taichou. Oh, that's right. He said he went to get Ichigo. Ichigo's here, I'm glad he came…'
She heard the nurse take her leave, so she turned her eye to the injured man in the doorway. Ichigo wasn't looking in her direction, but she could see a number of bandages and…what the hell? 'You fool, what's with the pathetic expression?'
"Ichigo…"
He whipped around, the stupid expression turning into shock that was really just silly, "Rukia! Is it really alright for you to be talking?"
If she could've, Rukia knew she would have given him her best sarcastic face, "They just said my condition is stabilizing…Like usual, words just go in one ear and out the other with you…"
Ugh, talking was harder than she thought it would be. Suddenly breathing was an arduous task.
Ichigo was obviously irked from her jibe, "Why you…That mouth of yours is as energetic as ever."
She smiled. Ah, well. Fool or not, she couldn't deny she was happy he was here. She knew the captains would never admit it (especially Nii-sama!), but the Soul Society needed him, especially now, "Ichigo, you came back…to protect the Soul Society…thank you…"
"O-of course I did!" He paused, crossing his arms, "Well, I wouldn't call what I did exactly protecting, since I was basically useless, but-,"
Hirako-taichou interrupted then, but Rukia had stopped paying attention, her smile faltering. Ichigo's expression changed ever so slightly. That pitiful face was back again…Given his injuries, something must have happened to him in battle, but that was never enough to make him have that face.
Someone came for Ichigo then, and in a flash, he gave a quick "Later!" and was gone.
Rukia pursed her lips in thought. What could have happened out there…?
The captain was still talking about something, but Rukia stopped him, "Hirako-taichou, why did Ichigo make…such a pitiful face..."
"He's jugglin' a bunch of balls. His zanpaku-to got all busted up and he wasn't able to save a single soul…That's his fatigue showin'. But I wouldn't worry about him," came his response, outwardly apathetic as always.
Rukia frowned, "Really…? Is that really all there was to it…? It felt like…something much more important…like he was hiding something all to himself…" she trailed off in thought, and the captain didn't respond, and the room lapsed into silence.
"Aaah, guess I'd better go see if I can help any of the others," Hirako-taichou announced, moving to leave the room.
"Wait." Rukia could feel pain in her chest growing, no doubt from the amount of talking she'd done with labored lungs, but the seed of worry was also back, "Is Nii-sama…What is Kuchiki-taichou's condition?"
The look he gave her was blank, with something almost like pity in it, and tears immediately started to rim her eyes. 'No, no, no, there's a mistake, something's wrong, something's not right.'
"He managed to survive. He's undergoin' treatment elsewhere right now. But he ain't dead."
"Oh." One tear slipped out, but it took the anxiety she had been feeling with it, "That's good, I'm glad…Thank you, Hirako-taichou."
He went like he was going to add something, but he shook his head and walked out, "Rest easy, Rukia-chan," he said over his shoulder, and was gone.
Rukia closed her good eye, wishing she could move her hand to wipe away the tear stain on her face. She was grateful. Renji was in the bed beside her, wounded but stable. Ichigo was off running around, trying to save everyone like usual. And Nii-sama was alive.
The thought brought back the rapid, painfully vivid memories from the battle, how she'd dropped all reason without a thought and only acted on her heart, 'And look where it got me. You couldn't have saved Nii-sama if he'd needed it after all.'
'That's why he's always so stoic,' she pondered, 'He never loses, and he never acts so boldly with his heart…so that can't be coincidental. But it's not that he doesn't care. He saved me from Ichimaru that one time,' she recalled.
'Although, I doubt he was acting much from the mind that time. He was protecting me for Nee-sama…'
And of course she had noticed the change in her brother since that time. He was no longer the person who was completely apathetic towards her and seemingly everyone. Hell, sometimes she saw similar traits rising between him and the men who wore their hearts on their sleeve, Renji and Ichigo.
'I guess even Nii-sama acts on the heart occasionally…but he's already mastered control over it, as with everything else. That's why he doesn't lose, no matter what or whom he's trying to protect.'
'That's why he doesn't lose.'