I can describe to you in detail the way the sky bends just before it falls -
I can tell you the exact shade of fire a bullet ignites as it passes through bone and flesh -
I can explain the last sound a dying man expels from between his lips -
I know the weakness brought by the first drop of sunlight after being released from the dark -
I can detail the glassy relief that rides on the heel of smothered guns -
I understand the starry taste that invades the senses as my heart stills within me -
I could tell you what it feels like to die.
But I can't tell you what it's like to walk down a street without looking my shoulder -
I don't know how to enter a building without looking for escape -
I don't understand how to switch off and just go to sleep -
Always watching, always wary, always waiting -
Some days I think I can't live like this anymore.
But others I know I'd miss the excitement.
Miss the novelty.
Miss the pride.
Miss being one of a pair.
Miss being with him.
Miss knowing I belong.