A/N: Yup, I said this wouldn't be on here until I actually got home from vacation, but I decided to write the first chapter. So here it is :) Oh, and a reference list will be at the end of the chapter, just for those things that might need explanation haha. So with that, here's the story!

Disclaimer: Trey Parker and Matt Stone own South Park, not me. And Sonic Team/ Sega owns Shadow. He just made an apperance because I love him XD

-Chapter 1-

Sickness Can Cause Bad Things (Prologue)

Ah yes, it was Christmas time yet again in the small mountain town of South Park. And I can't believe how much that sounded like a line from the actual show. Anyways, back to the story!

As the townsfolk of South Park where preparing for whatever year it was in the town's Christmas, various things where happening.

Shadow the Hedgehog was, and still is, paranoid of the internet, and had become Santa's assistant. Dragonbreath's fanfics were getting extreme amounts of views (and possibly reviews too), while random teens were at home watching either "The Ultimate Showdown" or "The Ultimate Orgy." They're more likely to watch the second one. As well as that, a mass (yet unknown to the world) protest broke out outside Sega's studios, with Sonic fans requesting -no, demanding- the return of Ryan Drummond and the other original voice actors. And voice actresses. Also, LittleKuriboh's videos were getting numerous views, even though a proper YouTube account of his is yet to be found. Oh well. And, to finish this really random and weird non-Christmas related list, there is probably many teens reading slash/ yaoi/ yuri stories right now. Sadly though, Gravitation and Strawberry Panic! don't count there. Sorry!

Now, to get back to the actual story, we were talking about... err, what was it again? Oh yes, I think it was Christmas. More specifically, Christmas in South Park. So, to return to our story, we shall go to the North Pole. Or wherever Santa's workshop is in the world.

Now, in Santa's so-called workshop, his workers (who are actually normal people who get paid) were ordering (not making) toys and other gifts for those on Santa's "nice" list. Which was pretty much everyone, save for a few people. Like Pervy Sage. And some kid named John. And Kai Minase. Either way, Santa's "naughty" list was small.

Santa himself, on the other hand, was preparing for the big day. Or, at least he was trying to.

Sadly, the world's most favorite man (at Christmas, anyways) had fallen ill with the flu. But Santa was strong, despite his age, and chose to continue his preparations until...

"What are you doing?" his new assistant, Shadow, asked.

"I'm trying..." Santa broke into a coughing fit before he could finish his sentence. After he stopped, he continued, "I'm trying to prepare for Christmas day."

"Riiiight..." Shadow replied, "Letting you go and deliver gifts on Christmas Eve would be like letting the professor continue working after he went insane. And letting him do that would have caused the destruction of the Earth."

"It will be the end of the world if I don't deliver these gifts to children on Christmas!" Santa protested, these words immediately followed by another coughing fit.

Shadow chose to wait until Santa was done coughing, in which Shadow didn't bother asking if his boss was okay, as he already knew the answer. Instead, he said, "Dude, just get a replacement this year. Besides, you've been doing this since the dawn of time."

"Well, I guess there's only one question to ask at a time like this," the elder man stated.

"And what would that be?"

"What would Jesus do!" he said, thinking the question over.

Magically, and out of nowhere, Jesus himself appeared. "I'd tell you to get a replacement and take this year off. Besides, it's like Shadow said. You have been doing this for a while."

"Thank you, Jesus," Shadow said.

"No problem, my blessed child," Jesus replied before returning to South Park. Or maybe Heaven?

Either way, to return to the problem at hand, Santa was sick.

"Fine," he finally said, "but you're in charge of finding my replacement, Shadow."

"I'll get right on it!" Shadow said, saluting Santa before going and getting the workers at the workshop to send out an ad for a replacement Santa. Unfortunately, what Shadow did not know was the potential, err... "danger," if you will, that this could cause everyone on Earth... or at least the residents of South Park. Especially after a certain fat and greedy teen saw this ad...

Okay, now it's time for those "references."

-Shadow is technically a main character in the story, which kinda makes this a South Park/ Sonic crossover. He's the only Sonic character in this though.
-The whole thing of Shadow hating the internet is from one of Dragonbreath's fanfics. Read "Shadow the Hedgehog FX" for the explanation.
-LittleKuriboh is the creator of the Yugioh Abridged Series, which still (kinda) doesn't exist, though that's according to Wikipedia.
-The three names on the "naughty" list are actually all people I know, and have some disliking towards.

Yup, that'd be it... :) Thanks to Blue Streak for posting this idea on his forum (even though it was someone else's, but meh.). And yes, our favorite (?) fatass will be in the next chapter. Maybe a review from you, the darling reader, might help me write the next chapter quickly. :)