Title: Mal's Color
Word Count: 2,215
Author: thefalloficarus at livejournal
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; I just like to play with them. Joss is Boss though, and don't you forget it! ;)
Rating: PG
Characters: Generic Crew, Mal, River
Pairing: a hint of Mal/River
Spoilers/Warnings: Pre- BDM
Summary: River can see the color of people's Aura and she refuses to tell Mal his color.
---------------------------------------------------

River looked up from her drawing suddenly, as if struck with an idea out of nowhere. "Simon, you're blue." She stated matter-of-factly.

Simon looked up from his book, startled by his sister's intrusion on the silence. "What?" He asked, his tone surprised yet patient.

"You're blue." River stated once more. She squinted now, scrunching and twisting her features in a look of concentration.

"River I'm not sad."

"No, not blue..." She said interrupting him, bringing her finger to her lips tapping slowly, tilting her head to the side, examining. "Blue…green… like… hmmm…" She said trailing off.

Kaylee who had been watching the show from the end of the supper table chimed in now, laughter and mirth in her tone. "Like the ocean?" She asked, not knowing what River was talking about, but liking the game none-the-less.

"No." River said, shaking her head. "Not quiet." She stilled, sitting silent for a moment.

"River, I'm not feeling..."

"Turquoise!" River cried excitedly, finally putting her finger on it. "You're turquoise with speckles of white. Glowing almost." She said smiling.

Kaylee giggled as if this were the funniest thing she'd ever heard, and Simon shot her a look before gaping at his sister. "River, what are you talking about? I'm not turquoise."

"No." River said, rolling her eyes condescendingly. "You're blue green like turquoise. You're not actually a gemstone."

Simon quirked a brow, but shook his head. He gave her a resigned look that said he was willing to go along with whatever game River was playing, and River smiled back at him apologetically, silently repenting her earlier frustrations. However often Simon vexed her with his misunderstandings, he seemed to hold an infinite well of patience for her, and River reminded herself she needed to take a lesson from him. Sometimes Simon didn't understand her, but no matter what he always loved her, and he always tried. With an affirmative nod, River voiced her thoughts by saying. "Turquoise, with speckles of white. My glowing brother."

"Wait a second." Kaylee said, sitting up excitedly. "Do you mean you can see his... spirit... err... essence..." She said snapping her fingers trying to think up the word.

"Aura." River said, finally helping Kaylee find the expression as she looked back down at the drawing in front of her.

"Yeah, that's it!" Kaylee exclaimed. I saw a guy at a fair one time that did that. It was real neat." She leaned forward, elbows propped on the table. "Can you really read people's auras… I mean like the colors all around them?" She asked.

River nodded, picking up her pencil, drawing nonchalantly once more, talking while she worked. "Sometimes, it comes and goes. Right now Simon is beaming."

"Really?" Kaylee asked in an awed voice, turning to the bemused Simon, scrutinizing his appearance as if she too might actually be able to see the colored radiance shining off him. After a moment of nothing but a pink blush creeping up Simon's cheeks, Kaylee turned back to River. "I can't see it." She said with a shrug.

River smiled, her eyes never leaving her art. "Not many can. I do though." She said, moving her pencil steadily. "Just lucky I guess." She ended sarcastically.

Kaylee looked just pickled at that and she leaned in towards River as if she were about to ask something quite conspiratorial. "Can you see everyone's auras?" She asked.

River nodded and finally put down her drawing once more. "Yes. I've seen you all at one point in time or another. Simon is Blue-green, soothing, a healer with great intelligence. He's of the earth, capable of mending and repairing, and making things grow. She smiled at him, and refused to add that she'd seen similar colors on those who were lonely, a little closed off, and guarded. Simon tried, and his colors were lightening now and then, so much so that today she felt the need to mention it. She had hope for him, and she didn't want to stop his progress by pointing out his obvious faults. Besides, she knew the person he most wanted to grow with was sitting in the room, and she knew he'd be mad if she pointed out he was lonely sometimes to the girl he liked.

"You're different then Simon, all shimmering white and orange. You're caring and compassionate. You radiate purity and joy, love and mirth." River said, looking Kaylee in the eye, telling her her aura matter-of-factly. Kaylee's cheeks in turn pinked with blush and she put a cheek to her face feeling the heat.

"I don't know about the purity." Came a voice from the hall, and in stepped Jayne followed by Mal. Kaylee shot Jayne a look and Mal slapped him on the back of the head. "Hey!" Jayne cried, placing a hand on the spot Mal hit, and Kaylee and Mal both gave a chuckle.

"She is pure." River said, holding up her hand to cut off anymore of Jayne's comments. "She is radiant, and simple. With Kaylee you know you're getting sincerity, compassion, and love."

Kaylee smiled at River and stuck her tongue out at Jayne. "You're just jealous 'cause my aura's prettier than yours." She said jokingly.

Mal chuckled at that as he moved to fix himself some tea and Jayne sat down at the opposite end of the table as Kaylee, pulling out his knife, and the kit he used to polish it. "No I ain't. 'Sides what in the ruttin' hell are y'all talking about."

River shook her head, sighing and looked down at her drawing while Kaylee excitedly fielded the question. "River can read auras."

"So she's reading psychic coloring books now?" Jayne grunted with a half laugh, thinking himself funny.

Simon only rolled his eyes and closed his book. "I'm going down to the Infirmary, to see if we need more supplies before landing." He said.

That stopped the conversation dead in its tracks, and both girls stopped to watch him get up and leave. There was a moment of silence as if the conversation had been dropped and then Jayne looked up, turning to River. "So, which is it, mine or hers?"

River laughed and looked up from her drawing, starring at Jayne for a moment before turning back down to the task at hand and speaking briefly, "Kaylee's."

Jayne gaffed, shaking his head. "Women! Figures you'd stick together."

Kaylee smiled at Jayne as if she'd won some prize, and River sighed exasperated. "Her's is. It's shiny and glowy all white with orange. It's vibrant and bright. Quiet honestly Jayne, you're muddy."

"Muddy?" Jayne asked, setting his knife down with force, as if she'd just insulted him.

"Copper for a kiss?" She said, reminding Jayne of Ariel before she went on to explain. "You're overly critical about others or life. You think mainly on yourself and you're always after some sort of attention or personal gain. And yet you have hints of orange peppered lightly in as if you have compassion and care for some that are near and dear to you. Your colors are dark and muddy, and yet somehow you hold onto some small shred of decency. You, the man they call Jayne, are a contradiction."

Jayne looked stunned for a moment, then asked, "So I'm all mixed up... color wise?" To which River merely responded with a nod. With a laugh Jayne turned back to Kaylee, "I'm like a rainbow; I still say I'm prettier."

Both girls laughed and shook their heads and Mal finally joined them at the table, taking Simon's old seat, and placing a cup of tea in front of himself. Kaylee offered him a warm smile and then turned to River. "What color's the Cap'ain?" She asked, liking this game very much.

River looked up, starring at Mal for a moment, very intently, and then picked up her drawing and her pencils, stood up, and walked away from the table. "Can't tell." She said, before quickly leaving the room. For a moment Kaylee, Mal and Jayne looked stunned, and then Kaylee burst into laughter, pointing at Mal and the expression on his face, and River skipped to the laughter all the way back to her bunk.

---------------

It had been a week since River's gift of aura reading had been revealed and the crew had learned that book was light yellow, a spiritual man, a learner and grower, although River never told them that there was grey over his heart, as if it had been broken and was only now beginning to mend. Wash was Orange and pink, compassionate, caring and full of love. Zoe was brown, of the earth, at peace with her demons, at one with herself while Inara was a beautiful dark purple: full of mediation and oneness, and sexually charged energy. River told them all, one by one, what their pretty light display was, but she never told Mal. At first, he laughed it off as one of the girl's games, but then as the week went on, and everyone asked, and everyone was answered he began to grow a mite angry that the little reader was holding out on him.

"Am I all blank inside?" He'd asked jokingly, at which point she shook her head and gave him a sad smile. "Am I dying?!" He'd asked panicked, and she merely gave one curt shake and excused herself from the room. Mal thought on that expression now, almost everyday. He worried what she saw. She was a psychic after all, maybe she'd seen something terrible and that's why she refused to tell him. Maybe he WAS dying and she didn't have the heart to let him in on that little secret.

The answer finally came two weeks later, after the novelty of the game wore off and no one asked anymore, leaving River alone, to continue her Riverly routine. It was late one night when Mal found River sitting in the galley with two glasses in front of her and a small bottle of sake sitting to her right. Mal gave a start when he saw the girl, and cursed in Chinese. "Girl, what have I told you about sneakin' around?"

"Wasn't sneaking." She said, her head cocked to the side as if his reaction had been odd. "Was waiting." She kicked out the chair beside her and set a glass at that place. "For you." She said with a nod.

Mal looked around as if he were waiting for someone to jump him or yell out surprise. When nothing happened he sat down next to River and looked at the sake she'd set before him. "Aren't you a mite young to be drinkin'?"

River quirked a brow then mocked, "Aren't you a mite old to be fooling yourself that 17 is too young for a dink."

He chuckled at that and took the proffered shot. "I suppose I can't be pointin' fingers, but you best keep this 'tween you an' me."

River laughed and sipped her sake. "I won't tell Simon." She promised.

Mal smiled taking the bottle from her and pouring himself another round. "You see that you don't." He said, before settling into a peaceful silence with the young reader. After a few minutes of quiet, River turned to Mal, looking at him expectantly. He noticed her gaze, felt it's weight and finally sighed. "Yes?"

River sipped her sake once more, "You haven't asked me. I thought you would."

Mal instantly thought, 'My color', but what he said was, "And what's that little darlin'?"

River frowned at him and sighed. "You're red and black, like blood and death, but dull and frayed and fading." She said very seriously. "You're bathed in your hatred, your passion, and fire but you're broken and bleeding all over."

This took Mal by surprise and he tried to act casual. "So what yer sayin' is I ain't gonna die, but my aura might?" He tone was sarcastic and glib and that caught a nasty look from River.

"Everyone dies. That question is irrelevant. But you are bleeding to death from the soul out." She said, watching him closely as if waiting for him to perform a trick.

Mal gave a low rumbling chuckle that faded and died away. He took another shot of sake. "So, what am I supposed to say to that?"

River sighed and shook her head. She topped off her glass and pulled it to her lips, finishing the shot before standing to go. Mal watched all this, still unsure of what to think, not entirely happy with his colors now that he'd learned them.

River looked at the Captain one last time, standing above him at his side at the table and she shook her head again and between down, kissing the Captain's forehead causing him to squirm with surprise. She smiled at that and stroked his cheek whispering in his ear. "Live Captain, you're supposed to hear that and decide to live." And she moved then, trailing her hand down his neck and shoulders, and he let her, feeling a new electricity build where her fingers ran and when they parted, it was almost painful but he didn't turn to watch her go.

-----------------

It had been two months since Mal had learned his colors and River stood by the door to the Galley, watching him laugh and talk with Zoe and Kaylee, letting them poke fun at his expense. They shined and spilled their colors bright, and River whisper, watching them intently, "You're looking much better in brown."