Title: Paid In Full
Author: daytimedrama
Rating: K+
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Content Warning: Hurt/Comfort, Canon character death
Summary: Danny/Lindsay --Post 5.25 Pay Up season finale.
A/N: I really liked the finale. Thought it could really do with more DL but I understand why there wasn't more. I'm really looking forward to season 6, but it's going to be a long wait. It's been awhile so I might be a bit rusty, but I gotta get back in the saddle so to speak. All mistakes are my own, I don't own anything, blah blah blah.
"Is she still asleep?" He asked finally, after a whole car ride of silence.
"Yeah, she dozed off again somewhere over the bridge. "
"Good... That's good." He was quiet as he pulled into a parking spot.
...
She knew he wasn't ready to talk. Not about today, not about what happens tomorrow. She put the baby to bed. Changed into an old shirt of his, brushed her teeth and washed her face. Routine. The normal nightly routine.
She had to have faith that he would come to her eventually. Not just because he promised, but because she needed him too. He promised her, the first time the night she heard his voice break. That vulnerability that compelled her to walk thirteen blocks in the rain. And he promised her again, the night he came to her apartment and told her that he was in this, he wanted her and he wanted to be a father.
And now she needed him, Jessica was her friend too. Don is her friend too. And whenever anyone gets killed on the job you can't but help to think that you could be next. It could be tomorrow, it could be in ten years. No one thought it could have been today. When she felt his hand pushing her down, and all she could hear was the sound of exploding glass around her, she could only see Lucy. Sweet, perfect Lucy, who probably sleeping happily at her grandmother's house, could wake up without parents. When the glass stopped popping, she opened her eyes and found his. He was close to the ground, eyes wildly searching her face, and then took his first breath.
...
"Danny? Are you awake?" she whispered. She knew he hadn't been asleep. His fingers hadn't stopped moving on her back.
"Yeah."
"Can't sleep?" She couldn't either.
"No, just thinking." He held her closer.
"What are you thinking about?" Everything.
"About how maybe we should take your Dad up on his offer."
"Oh." That was one thing she hadn't thought about tonight.
"I could learn to drive a tractor, it can't be that hard. And you turned out pretty great growing up in Montana. Lucy could get a pony, I mean after she learns to walk. It could be a really nice life. She would be really happy."
"Could you be happy?"
"If it meant us being safe… yes."
...
She didn't need to remind him that moving to Montana wasn't necessarily a guarantee of safety. Four of her friends died while eating pie. And while their blood stained the floors, she cowered in a bathroom, listening to any innocence she might have had disappear. Work would be slower there; time seemed to slow down out there under the big sky. Her two weeks away from her brand new husband felt like a million years. There was only time to think. She thought about what she wanted for their baby, for her marriage.
...
"I'm scared all the time now. I'm scared of something happening to the baby. I'm scared of losing you. Even if you go to the supermarket I'm so afraid of you not coming back… I've never been like this but it's cause… I can't do this without you." She finished breathless.
"It's awful… what happened today. And I feel awful for Flack and for Angell's family, but there is this awful part of me that feels relief. Relief that it wasn't you, that it's not me in Flack's position. I don't even know what I'd do if anything happened to you… I can see him fading away."
"You'd keep living, you'd have to for our daughter."
"Can we not talk about this…"
"Okay." She said hesitantly.
"I love you so much and it's all... it's all just too fucking close. And I can't think about this, not tonight… please."
...
It was that voice again, that 'please' that made her heart break from his vulnerability. She cupped his face, and kissed him deeply. She couldn't see his eyes but his cheeks felt wet from his tears, or maybe they were hers.