Here it is everyone, the full Battle of Mewni Ride Along fic. This series will be the replacement of the FandomSins series since this is a more creative option.
So anyway remember this is rated T for more mature humor, you've been warned. I own nothing except my OC Paladin, Plothoric belongs to Platyman. Everything else to Daron Nefcy, Disney and their affiliates please support the official release.
Star sits in her carriage, sighing sadly as she watches the person she's romantically interested in his own home without his knowledge or consent, in the way of all true romantics.
"Oh Marco, if only you weren't such a cute idiot" she says miserably.
"They were behind the dog food…"carefully intoned a voice from the shadows.
With a burst of light and a whoosh and the sound effect from an Atari game (because that is what magic sounds like, don't cha know) Star springs to her feet, pointing her want in the direction of the voice.
"Okay, who said that, and what do you want with Marco's cereal?!"
"A thousand apologies your most Royal Highness! I pray you Highness will grace me with your forgiveness for startling you." Stated the voice, cultivated is some at reedy and nasal, with a tone tined with obsequiousness.
As royalty, Star was used to subservience and not mollified by it.
"Just answer the question".
Stepping into the light, the speaker revealed themselves as a man of about 60 bent, with a slight slump, so that he was only a little taller than Star himself. He had a mid-length wispy grey beards band is slightly upturned and wore a high brimless hat, not unlike a fez but rounded at the top. He wore dark pink robes with a blue border fastened with a blue felt belt, with curly shoes and a little of his hose visible below the hem. His hat was similarly dark pink with a light blue crest near the rim, portraying a butterfly balancing a scroll on the tips of its wings.
"Your Highness, you most humble service, Royal Scribe and real-time Historian, Plotholric the Scribe".
"You said scribe twice. Mom, who is this weirdo?"
Without taking her eyes off the road, Moon turned around and answered her daughter
"Ah, I see you've found Plotholric. I'm afraid it's true Star. He was one of my mother's last appointments and while I'm not completely convince of the utility of his post, I wanted to show respect to her memory by retaining it."
"And his post is…"
"Real time Historian, your Highness. As her Most Royal Majesty has just now explained, her dearly lamented Royal Predecessor, Sky the Benevolent, was pleased to grant me the honour of taking up the post of Royal Historian. After compiling some the accounts of the counts relating to past monarchs, and being deeply concerned about the existence of conflicting accounts, I requested of her Late Majesty the opportunity to chronicle the illustrious deeds of the Royal Family as it actually happened before my eyes. "
Star tilted her hade a little puzzled…
"So you're like a… minute taking guy, but for my life?"
"Principally her Majesty your Royal Mother, your highness, but yes yours as well. However, unlike most minute takers I am forbidden to take any part in the "meeting". Her Majesty's predecessor has bound me at my own request with a magical contact, to chronicle the actions of the Royal Family and record them for posterity, while as far as possible refraining from intervening, so that should the day go ill, the memory of the Queen and her fore-mothers great deeds should not perish…"
"This is taking too long, Mom, what's this guy's deal?"
"He's magically bound to note down everything we do that he feels is significant, but he's not allowed to interfere with what we're doing in anyway. Just try to ignore him Star, it actually better allows him to do his job."
"So, like, we have to lug this guy around all of the time that we are trying to save our Kingdom, and he's not even allowed to give use any help?! Even though he's technically our servant?!"
"While I am barred from actively offering any active practical assistance to her Majesty and you Highness in this task, if I can provide you with counsel that I believe would be useful, then I shall not hesitate to do so. Also, if necessary when recording your conversation and actions I may ask for a clarification or explanation, but only with the aim or better recording the illustrious deeds of the Butterfly line. Only published at with the permission of the reigning Queen of course. I'm not some gossiping minstrel" he said sniffily.
"Well I'm glad of that at least, but I don't need more unsolicited advice" said Star throwing a glance towards her mother. "I get enough of that already."
"Honestly, I feel that part of the reason mother gave him this appointment was to give him something else to do there than provide unsolicited advice" said Moon, primly ignoring her daughter's veiled criticism. "Though I suspect she also wanted to keep him out of trouble. A bit too benevolent for her own good sometimes Mum."
"I don't believe that will be the judgement of history, your Majesty."
"Because you'll be writing it?"
"Of course you majesty."