Warning: VERY OOC, cursing, and randomness. Flames/flamers will be stomped underfoot. ^^
Misadventures of Matt and Mello
I. Pet
Mello:
Me and Matt were in a pet shop when I saw the love of my life: a cat.
"Matt," I whisper-yelled. "I want that kitty."
"No," Matt answered.
"WHY NOT?" When he didn't answer, I said, "FINE! WHATEVER! GO DIE IN A SEWER!" I broke the glass with my fist(me strong) and stole the cat. Me and Matt ran all the way home(we were sorta hobos and didn't have a car). There, I christened the cat Splinters.
"I love you very much, okay?" I cooed to the cat, scratching it. It bit me.
"Ow!" I cried.
"What's wrong?" Matt suddenly asked.
"IT BIT ME! IT FUCKING BIT ME!" I screeched, kicking the cat. It hissed and scratched the small part of my ankle that was showing. I swear, this cat has anger management issues!
"Don't bite Mello!" Matt shouted, kicking the cat also. We kicked a lot of times and then the cat died. Laughing, I kicked it out of the apartment like a soccer ball. When I got outside, I kicked it into the sewer. It wouldn't fit at first, so I kicked it again until it did. Then I flushed the sewer and watched the demon cat go byebye.
"I want a new pet," I whined.
"Okay, let's go!" We ran to the pet shop again(we're kind-of-hobos, like I told you) where I fell in love again. With a turtle.
"Awwwww!" I squealed. I stole the turtle and me and Matt ran home again. We stayed outside in the driveway where we played with the turtle.
"I'm naming you Molasses," I declared, patting the turtle.
"Good name!" Matt agreed.
"I love you, okay?!" I yelled at Molasses. "I LOVE YOU!"
It didn't answer.
"ANSWER ME!" I screamed. "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS!" No answer. "GODDAMMIT ANSWER ME!"
It didn't answer, so I kicked it into the sewer. I realized it would not drown because it can breathe underwater, so I kicked a pickle in. I watched in pure joy and happiness as the turtle was smashed to smithereens.
"Good job, Melly." Matt nodded in approval. "Molasses deserved that." He flushed the sewer for me, which made me really happy so I hugged him really tight.
"I want a new pet!" I whined.