Disclaimer: I don't own The Office but I secretly own Jim. So secretly in fact that no one knows except me.
A/n: This is my first official foray into the Office fandom, and I would just like to say Jim and Pam are the cutest ever. This is technically number three in my unofficial How A Heart Breaks series (all are completely unrelated, just similarly themed) and not based on the song This is How a Heart Breaks by Rob Thomas. This little angsty scene takes place in the beautiful episode, Casino Night.
Just Friends
This is how a heart breaks.
He hadn't really meant to say it. After all, Roy was barely out of the parking lot. He had intended to gently break it to her that he was choosing to transfer to Stanford. He wouldn't – couldn't? – disclose his real reasons for going, though. He was running. Running away from the feelings for Pam that he'd had for so long, away from the reality of Pam and Roy's impending wedding, away from having to see her with someone else until death do they part.
There they were, though, standing outside alone, and he wasn't running. She looked stunning in that blue dress, her eyes sparkling, her face glowing, her hair done just so, her smile completely radiant. He gazed at her and it sort of slipped out before he realized he was speaking what he was thinking, before he had the chance to catch himself, to keep his brain attached to his mouth.
The smile dropped from her face.
He knew the damage was done then, and there was absolutely no going back. So he laid it out there. He ignored the part of him that was screaming to stop, to make it a joke, to back out of it and change the subject – to run. He was in love with her, he wanted to be so much more than friends and he had the worst timing in the world. He loved her.
She was completely in shock.
He didn't know what he had been expecting after he let his mouth run wild but the reaction he got was definitely not it. Not from her, not after he had thought so many times that maybe, just maybe, she might felt the same, even just a little bit.
She couldn't reciprocate – she was engaged to Roy, for heaven's sake! How could he expect her to say anything to return his confession? – yet she refused to lose him as a friend, as her best friend. The point, however, was that she did not love him back. They were only, and had to remain, just friends. And yes, he had the worst timing in the world.
He could feel his heart splintering like wood under too much stress. His throat closed, his breath couldn't get through and his chest felt tight, barely containing the cracked and splitting wood. Unwanted tears escaped onto his cheeks before he could stop them – he never wanted to let her, or anyone, see him cry. The tears were evidence of the pain suddenly becoming too much underneath his ribs.
Yeah, good one Jim. He thought bitterly. Way to completely and totally blow absolutely everything.
"I'm sorry…" she whispered.
He walked away.
This is how a heart breaks.
A/n: Thanks for reading! Reviews are like oxygen.