A/N: No, I'm not dead! My computer died; it needs a new battery and I'm using Dad's.

I really just wanted to try something new to keep my creative juices flowing...some deviation from my norm, which is usually Hoperai, and one of my other favs is Snow/Lightning. For all the people out there yelling, "Blasphemy!" REALLY LOUDLY at the screen, I don't believe in the matchup, I just like it.

Summary: She never wanted sympathy. She never wanted pity. But now, she didn't want to be alone.

Disclaimer: I wish.

…

Lightning sat on a conveniently-placed rock by the waterfall, watching the chocobos' feathers shine silver in the moonlight. She couldn't sleep even if she wanted to; thus, here she was, on the second watch of the night, with nothing but her thoughts to focus on.

And how torturing those thoughts were.

She knew, in the back of her mind, that it was wrong to be thinking of the blond-haired, blue-eyed brute. She knew.

So why couldn't she stop? Worse, why didn't she want to?

He is promised to her sister, who loves him. She herself is supposed to hate him, those punches, first in the Vestige, then in the crystallised Lake Bresha, proof of it. She didn't regret them then. So why should she now?

She groaned, putting her head in her hands until a little silvery-feathered ball of down bumped into her temple. It was hard to tell in the moonlight, but it was definitely Sazh's chocobo chick, fluttering happily with a gang of fluffy silver balls with wings.

He's certainly made some new friends, Lightning thought to herself wryly. It was a short but genuinely sweet distraction from her own whirring thoughts, but it didn't last long. Soon enough she was thinking of him again. Snow Villiers. Said brute rolled over in his sleep, snoring contentedly. She catalogued every detail, with one part of her mind screaming at her that she had no right, that he was her sister's and not hers. But she did it anyway.

His lips, slightly parted. His hands tightly clutching Serah's tear. His hair, currently falling over his eyes, both silvery in the light of the moon.

Open.

Her own eyes widened, her hands balled into fists, both physical attempts to stop her blush from reaching her cheeks. She was caught and both of them knew it. He didn't stop staring at her, nor she at him. Their eyes were locked together, and she didn't want to stop. What was she supposed to be doing again?

She stood abruptly, suddenly needing a place to go, to hide from those almost hypnotising baby blues still trained on her. She ran, gunblade holster gently tapping against her thighs as she did so, its weight soothing. The only thing registering in her mind was to flee, flee from the confusing feelings raging inside of her.

She could hear heavy footfalls behind her, feel his heat like it were an extension of her body, and she knew he was trying to follow her. He was closer now. She could hear his heavy breathing. She ran faster, but she knew it would be inevitable he catch her. She may have more stamina, but he's sure faster than he looks.

Finally she felt a hot hand on her shoulder, spinning her around to face him for the second time in ten minutes. They both were breathing hard, chests heaving as they tried to catch their breath.

"W-what..." she panted, trying to catch her breath before speaking again. "Why did you follow me?"

He remained silent. His hand was still on her shoulder, but as it slid down her arm, raising goosebumps over the skin, his eyes smouldered, and she knew. Reason flew back to her in a heartbeat as she yanked her arm from his hand, stepping back and out of arm's reach. She shook her head. "You belong to my sister, Snow. And she belongs to you."

"She's stopped speaking to me. What if she doesn't wake up?"

"And if she does?" That seemed to stump him long enough for Lightning to gather her remaining stamina and bolt again.

"Hey – wait! Lightning!" She could hear him follow again. This time Lightning took as many twists and turns as she possibly could before finally coming to a halt in front of the two Dire Flan blocking her path. She cursed under what breath she had left before drawing whatever weapon she had on her at the time, which happened to be her Edged Carbine. She flipped it smoothly into sword mode and immediately started attacking, knowing Snow wasn't too far behind her. As if thinking of him summoned him, he emerged from the opening behind her, panting heavily before catching sight of the flan and running to put himself between them and her.

"You want her? Get through me first!" He put his fists up defensively.

"Surely you know me better by now?" Lightning flipped gracefully over Snow's 6-foot form, landing softly inches in front of him. He immediately started throwing various fire spells at them while Lightning threw Ruin with occasional dodges and cures along the way. It was a long and painful fight with only the two of them but with Snow on her side, she might as well have had Fang as well. He might not have been an excellent healer, but he sure-as-hell was a good sentinel.

Eventually their efforts payed off. The flan seemed to lose all will to hold themselves up and they dissolved into putrid-smelling puddles. Lightning snagged some mysterious fluid in a little phial, then put it into the red pack strapped to her thigh and the top of her skirt before leaning against the craggy wall, staring at the group of four Gorgonopsids a ways ahead of them, none the wiser to their presence, or what had gone down. Snow was very tired, from waking up in the middle of the night, chasing after Lightning twice, and the fight with the flan. He mirrored his female companion's movements, leaning against the wall next to her, sinking down with her to the ground, pretending not to notice her sleeveless overcoat riding up her back as she did so. He had no idea what had gotten into him before, when he'd traced his hand over the soft-but-hard muscles of her arm, savouring the satin-soft feel of her skin. He was supposed to feel like that only for his damsel, his beloved Serah. But why did Lightning let him? Did she feel anything? This pulled him back to when he had stopped to admire Serah's tear in the light of the sunset earlier. He knew, when Lightning had placed her fist in the middle of his back, when she told him to keep his promise to Serah, to make sure he kept to his word when he said that one crystallised tear would be the last, that she was hiding at least one severe emotion locked inside of her, desperate to show itself to the world; to show Claire, opposed to the normally-solitary Lightning everyone knew.

She was wracked with guilt; guilt for not believing Serah about the whole l'Cie thing, for not getting there sooner before she turned to crystal, for taking her grief and anger out on the only one she knew was strong enough to withstand her explosive temper – Snow Villiers – and for not being there for Serah in general all the years since their parents' brutal death. She still felt grief; every day they trekked through Gran Pulse's wilderness, finding nothing but King and Kaiser Behemoths picking fights with Gorgonopsids and Megistotherians, her belief in the theory that Serah will one day awaken would weaken. Even after Fang had told her story, how she eventually woke up after 500 years, and then at the Estheim residence Snow had told her basically the same thing, she didn't entirely believe, but it was pretty close to it. Now more doubt flooded her mind than belief, and she didn't know what was true. The only one who would even remotely understand what had been happening since they'd taken on Barthandelus – the one Lightning had first despised when he'd been introduced to her by her fragile sister – is Snow. She didn't know if anyone else saw his rapidly deteriorating state of mind or if it was just her that noticed, but she sensed he was in almost as much pain as she was. His ever-present optimism was only ever there if one of their group was there to witness it, but only Lightning could see through his otherwise-convincing facade.

His gentle question cut through her train of thought. "Lightning, is Serah coming back?"

When she realised she didn't know, tears welled up in her eyes; tears she'd been holding back since her parents' death. She refused to let Snow see her infuriating weakness or let a tear fall. She was strong for Serah when she was 15; she would be strong now. Somehow in the back of her mind, she knew Serah would want her to let it out, the pain and grief that was gnawing away inside her, ripping a hole through her heart, instead of bottling it up inside, but she was far too stubborn for that. She only rarely showed that side of her with Serah bearing witness; how could she bare her soul to the ape sitting beside her now?

A thought that was not hers wiggled its way in through her brain and etched itself into her memory, a thought with Serah's voice and essence written all over it: Remember, I am with you always.

That sent her over the precarious edge she had been teetering over in her mind into the abyss of her black emotions. She was cracking, fraying away at the seams, and in front of Snow, no less.

Snow, feeling the change in his usually-feisty companion, knelt in front of her and put his arms around her, not caring if she punched him later for it. She, as expected, struggled in his arms at the unfamiliar touch. She never wanted sympathy. She never wanted pity. But now, she didn't want to be alone with her torturous thoughts about Serah or the negative emotions bottled up in her chest. She drew in a breath and opened her mouth to command Snow to get the hell off of her, but instead started bawling. She cried for her mother, her father, all her other estranged family and of course Serah. Snow rocked her back and forth, like you would with a distraught child, and murmured soothing nonsense into her ear, not caring if her salty tears stained his coat or shirt.

Lightning didn't care who or what heard her misery, her grief. For the first time in a long time, she let go of the negative emotions she'd been holding in for so long. She cried until there were no more tears to spill, until she was bone-dry. Snow simply held her, refusing to let himself take advantage of her distraught state, both for his sake and for Serah's. He may be flesh and blood, but he would never relinquish his choke-hold on the villain in him. Not unless she acted first.

Not until now did Lightning fully comprehend what position she was in with her sister's fiancée. He was sitting cross-legged with his arms around her; she was straddling his hips with her hands on his back and her face buried in the crook of his neck. He made no objection and neither did she; she didn't want to let go of the only warmth she'd held since this whole adventure began, and little did she know he felt the same. As the misery and sadness slowly faded, another totally unfamiliar feeling started to well up inside her: desire. Covered or not, her hands on his back, her face in his neck, the skin touching him started to rise in temperature. Suddenly she wanted the man sitting before her, the man who cared enough to put his arms around her while she cried herself dry.

What was she thinking? How could she want her sister's fiancée? This is madness! What is wrong with her?

Snow chose just that moment to pull away enough to be able to look into her eyes. Lightning immediately felt nervous: she didn't know what he saw there. She had never felt so vulnerable, but she felt safe, too. Safety was something she never indulged in; her job made it impossible. But right now, whether or not he knew, she felt safer than she had ever felt with another person. He was unravelling her, showing her true self, and she could feel the hardness encased around her heart chip and crack. So when Snow shifted his weight, Lightning clung to him tighter, burying her face in his chest, inhaling his scent, mixed with the earthy and wild scent of Gran Pulse wildlife.

"You all right now?" Snow murmured, gently wiping away a stray tear.

Lightning nodded slightly. What shocked her was that after all the things she'd done to him, he still had the heart to care about her well-being. It was that shock, his gentleness, that finally sent her over the edge. All coherent thought flew from her mind as she grabbed his shoulders and leaned into him, seeking his lips. His arms moved from her shoulders to her waist, snaking around her hips as he kissed back. The taste of her lips was addicting. He couldn't get enough. He ran his tongue swiftly across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth obligingly, eager to deepen the kiss. Her taste was intoxicatingly sweet, different from Serah.

Serah. Forgive me. The thought was mutual, but they couldn't find it in themselves to stop. Both wanted the other, badly.

Lightning knew that if they went any further, they really wouldn't be able to stop. Guilt was something she did not need more of. So she put her hands on his chest and pushed.

Her lips now free, she said breathlessly, but with enough authority to make him listen, "We need to stop."

Snow raised an eyebrow. He leaned forward, enough that his breath brushed her lips. "Are you sure you want to stop?"

Lightning leaned away from him, disentangled herself and stood. She said, not entirely convincingly, "Yes."

Snow quickly stood as well, knowing she was lying. He knew her reason, too. She did not want him to betray Serah, especially not with her. She did not want the weight of blame to crush her shoulders.

Snow caught her hand and spun her around once again, and Lightning couldn't bring herself to pull away this time. This is the moment, she realised suddenly, where we become something more or forget all of this.

It was a now-or-never moment. She mentally cursed but stepped closer to him, giving in. She looked up at him, slightly peeved about the height difference. Snow looked down and smiled, daring to run his thumb down her cheek. She grabbed his hand and closed the remaining distance between them, meeting his lips in a hot kiss. What wasn't completely relevant faded away until it was just them in the world.

Which was probably a good thing.

…

Serah's soul looked down at the relatively happy couple. She knew in her heart that this would happen eventually, whether she woke up or not. It was one of the reasons why she tried to break it off with Snow, but he had chased her desperately, intent on comforting her. A hot tear slid down her cheek, but strangely it wasn't a tear of sadness.

It was a tear of joy, of happiness, of hope of a better future for her family.

…

Was the ending crappy? Was there not enough fluff? Let me know!

Until my computer gets a new battery, all of my stories (Except this one, New Beginnings and TLTD) are now on HIATUS. Sorry for the inconvenience guys, but blame Mum for stealing the only charger for this type of computer in the house because she effed up the other one and we couldn't afford to replace it. I am so glad she hasn't ever been on this site in her life.

So until next time, Ciao kupos!