Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.

Now …

Those lying bastards had told her that there would be stages of grief – what where they? Katara couldn't remember and, what's more, she couldn't be bothered. They had told her that, over time, the pain would heal and she could start afresh. But they had been wrong, because every night, even now, months later, she still woke up screaming at Aang to get out of the way; woke up sobbing her heart out because he hadn't been fast enough.

This night had been no different – Katara had woken up with heart hammering so hard she thought it might burst through her chest, woken up with tears pouring down her face, hands clutching at her sheets, when in reality they were searching for a way to bring him back into her arms.

She was soaked in sweat, her bed sheets glued to her legs and arms. Feeling claustrophobic, she kicked the blankets away and staggered, half-awake, across the room, until she reached the window. Staring out into the night sky, inky-blue and shining with a million silver stars, Katara lifted her gaze, seeking out the brightest one of all.

'The brightest star shines the shortest,' she murmured over and over again, untying her mother's necklace and pressing her lips against its metal, still warm from the heat of her body 'The brightest star shines the shortest.'

*

For the first month after Aang had gone, Katara hadn't been able to taste food properly – everything felt like ash on her tongue. Everything had been flavorless and dull, and not even the spiciest, the most exotic foods couldn't liven her taste buds.

Breakfast was some sort of cold rice, with chunks of meat on top of it. Aang hadn't eaten meat, and Katara wouldn't have either if she had cared. But she hadn't cared since that day …

Katara groaned, closing her eyes, trying to hold the memories back …

Then …

Something had gone wrong – and not even her healing water would fix it. Zuko's face was wrought with silent agony, the body in his arms still and lifeless.

'NO!'

Now …

Without realizing, Katara had started crying. She had made herself promise not to break down in public, but this was different. This wasn't a ceremony for the Avatar's fiancée with a plaza crowded with strangers; this was the dining room with Zuko. He had been carrying Aang … he understood …

Then …

Katara had never before felt this burning desire, deep within her heart. She wanted to kill, but the agony of seeing him in Zuko's arms, limp and silent, quenched this desire, or at least held it back, robbing her of her ability to move, rendering her body as cold and still as Aang, with her fire burning deep within.

Now …

Katara woke up in her bedroom, her body curled inwards, in the fetal position. Her face wet with tears. A part of her wondered who had carried her into her room – the last thing she remembered was sitting at the table, silently crying – but then all of her being was consumed with grief and there was nothing left to do but wait.

Aang was gone for good, and now amount of tears could bring him back – Katara knew that.

But it didn't mean that a tiny part of her wasn't going to stop trying.

***

Come on Katara, you can do this. Yesterday was simply a bad day. You're a big girl now; you can stand up on your own two feet without having to lean on someone else.

Her hair was a mess. Using her fingers as a makeshift comb, Katara pulled her hair back into a bun, fastening it.

You can do this.

Katara stopped, dropping her hands, letting her hair tumble lose around her shoulders.

No, I can't.

***

'Would you like it if you went back home?'

Katara's head jerked up.

'What?'

Zuko repeated his question.

'I don't get it. What do you mean?'

The Fire Lord sighed. 'Katara, you're miserable and you hate it here –'

'I don't hate it –'

'– Don't lie to me. Anyway, I was asking you if you wanted to go back to the South Pole.'

Katara paused, thinking. Going to the South Pole would mean seeing more of Dad, Gran Gran, Sokka, and Suki. She would be able to get out of the Fire Nation – and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing – and see her family again. She could go penguin sledding and fishing and wear her thick blue coat again because it was always cold at the South Pole and pretend that none of this had ever, ever happened.

Katara realized that Zuko was expecting an answer. 'I …' Katara looked down at the table, not wanting to meet his gaze, 'I don't know.'

Zuko groaned. Her head shot up.

'What?' she asked, anger instantly flaring through her veins. That's what she was like these days, all highs and lows – never in the middle.

'I ask you a simple question: do you want to go home or not? But you don't answer me properly; you keep avoiding everything I say!' Zuko's voice was low and angry, his eyes narrowed.

Katara stood up quickly, so quickly her chair was knocked to the ground, attracting stares from several of the guards on duty. The Fire Lord arguing with the avatar's supposedly suicidal fiancée would be an interesting spectacle.

'Here's the truth,' she said, bending the soup out of her bowl and smacking it down on the table, cutting right through the wood, 'I don't care. You can't make me care!' She turned her back on Zuko and left the room, ignoring his shouts.

'No amount of not caring is going to bring him back!'

Katara slammed the door to her bedroom shut. A tiny voice in her head, the voice of reason, told her that she had just done something extremely childish and silly, but the rest of her was too angry to care. Katara told herself that she wouldn't start to cry until she had reached her bed, but even as she was locking the door the tears were starting to fall.

Notes: Yes, this story does start out with a Kataang pairing - even if Aang is dead. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll have to keep you in suspense ...

*cackle*