Title: Babysitting 101

Author: AllVowels

Summary: Based on the prompt by shopgirl909: Jeff and Annie make the mistake of letting Britta watch Disney movies with their daughter.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: I'll say through season 3 just in case, but I don't think there are any.

AN: Part of this story is a throwback to my other fic, Introduction to Plushie Repair. It's not necessary to read that, but you could if you wanted.

"Thank you so much Britta, Jeff and I haven't been out by ourselves in a LONG time."

Britta smiled uneasily at Annie's enthusiasm. She knew the only reason she was asked to babysit was because Shirley was out of town, Pierce was incompetent and Troy and Abed weren't allowed to be unsupervised with Galilee anymore after the incident with Mr. Brigglebee. So here she was about to spend her Saturday evening with Jeff and Annie's 4 year old, because Jeff hadn't been with Annie in weeks because their daughter kept interrupting them at the most inopportune times. When Jeff had complained to her she screamed TMI, but she could empathize.

"No problem, happy to help. Where is the little munchkin?" Britta tried to convey eagerness, but it came off as awkward and nervous, which caused Annie's smile to falter somewhat.

"Britta, if you aren't comfortable watching her, it is alright. Jeff and I can just stay in tonight."

"NO!" The two set of eyes turned to look at Jeff who entered the room with a young girl in his arms. The tiny child took after her mother with large doe eyes, a petite nose and bowed mouth. Her hair was all Jeff's though, which was the only thing stopping her from being a mini-Annie. Everyone had been relieved that her forehead was Annie's, although Pierce warned them to be careful that it might expand, so they'd better keep an eye on that.

Jeff cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I mean Galilee is so excited to spend the evening with Aunt Britta! Isn't that right Lilee?"

The little girl looked at her father, but made no motion to show her excitement.

"See! Super excited!" He kissed her on the forehead and set her down, "You be a good girl for Aunt Britta, and we will be home later tonight."

Annie hustled over and kissed her daughter as well, "Now if you need anything you call me alright. Our numbers are programmed into the telephone, if we don't answer, Shirley's number is in there too. And Britta the number for the police station, fire department, pediatrician and dentist are on the fridge if you need it. And…"

"Annie, they'll be fine. Let's go." He waved goodbye to Britta while dragging his wife out the door, who was still trying to shout more instructions at Britta.

"There is food in the fridge and money on the counter to order a pizza!"

After the door was closed Britta turned to face Galilee.

"Hey sweetie, so what do you want to do?"

The little girl looked at Britta assessingly, "How come you are wearing boots? It's not snowing outside. Mom only let's me wear boots when it snows. Or rains."

Britta laughed uncomfortably, "Well when you are an adult you get to wear whatever you want."

"Is that why Uncle Troy and Abed wear costumes all the time? Even when it's not Halloween?"

Britta smiled, "Yes, although I don't really consider those two adults."

Galilee nodded her head in understanding, not because she understood, but she took after her father and could fake social cues, and a nod here seemed appropriate. For a while it went well, Galilee sat in the middle of the room and colored with those markers that only show up on a certain kind of paper. Britta was impressed, she stayed in the lines 90% of the time. But then again, she couldn't see Annie's child scribbling willy nilly on a coloring book.

Britta sat and watched from a distance unsure what to do. In the past Troy and Abed were always much more hands on with the child and would babysit her regularly. They would run down the halls, play tag, and dress her up for some part of their Inspector Spacetime recreations. Shirley would coo over her and Pierce would even hold her and get weepy when she called him Grandpa. Britta was never great with children, especially girls. They fell into gender stereotypes at such an early age. That's why everything she bought for Annie at the baby shower was blue.

Annie had thanked her warmly, but she never saw Galilee in the clothing. She was always dressed up in pink frills and bows. It was disgusting. That was when Britta decided to follow a couple's lead she read about in the paper. They refused to tell anyone what gender their child was so that stereotypes would not be pressed upon them. That's what she was going to do if she ever had a child. Not like she wanted one though.

During her musings, Galilee had cleaned up her coloring books and put them away in the corner on a bookshelf. She padded over to where Britta was sitting and tugged on her pant leg.

"Can we order pizza now?"

"Sure! What kind do you like?"

"Pepperoni."

Britta frowned, "I'm a vegetarian."

"What's that?"

"I don't eat meat."

"Why?"

"Because of how they treat the animals."

"What animals?"

"The animals that they kill so you can eat meat! Where do you think meat comes from?" Britta cried. A second later, Britta realized she had messed up as tears welled up in the toddler's eyes.

"I thought it came from the grocery store! They kill animals?"

"NO!" Britta back pedaled, knowing that she was not equipped to deal with the waterworks of a toddler. "No, I was just joking. You are right; they get meat from the grocery store. I'm just silly and forgot. How about we get a cheese pizza?"

"That's not a funny joke. Troy said you weren't funny. He was right."

"I am too funny. We will have loads of fun, just you wait!" The little girl stared at her stonily before turning and marching into her bedroom. Britta let her head smack the table and let out a deep sigh. She should never have agreed to do this. Lifting her head she reached for the phone and called in a plain cheese pizza. Hopefully the little demon beast would eat it.

30 minutes later, Britta had paid the delivery driver and placed the pizza in the kitchen. She grabbed a couple of plates and threw a slice onto each one and carried them into the living room.

"Galilee, pizza's here!"

The little girl entered the living room, dragging a mangled teddy bear. It had been patched several times with mismatched fabric, its remaining purple fur was uneven, an eye patch covered one eye and a plastic pirate hook was attached to the bear's right arm.

"Momma doesn't allow us to eat in the living room."

"Oh…"

"But Daddy does it when momma is gone. It's a secret."

Britta smiled, that sounded like Jeff, "Well this will be our secret too."

"Can Mr. Brigglebee join us?"

"Of course! The more the merrier!" She eyed the teddy bear; it was in even worse shape now than before, "What happened to him?"

"Uncle Troy and Abed were playing Peter Pan with me. I was Tinkerbell. Mr. Brigglebee was Captain Hook, and Troy cut off his hand and replaced his hand with a hook to be more auth…ticket." Galilee stumbled over the last word.

"Authentic?" Galilee nodded. "Is that why they aren't allowed to babysit anymore?"

Galilee nodded sadly, "Momma got SUPER mad that day. Yelled at Troy and Abed. But I like Mr. Brigglebee like this. Makes him special." The bear was plopped down in between Britta and Galilee and the two proceeded to eat in silence, with occasionally interruptions as Galilee offered Mr. Brigglebee pizza.

"Aunt Britta? Can we watch a movie?"

"Sure. What do you want to watch and I'll put it in?"

The little girl giggled and ran to the DVD shelf in the corner and scanned the shelves. She pulled out two DVD cases and was weighing the two between her hands, silently debating which one she wanted to watch. "I can put it in. I know how to work the DVD player!"

Galilee plopped the DVD in the player and turned on the TV. She manipulated the remote, causing the TV to turn on, and move to the DVD screen. Britta was impressed.

"What are we watching?"

The little girl clapped her hands eagerly and sat on the floor pulling her teddy bear into her lap, "Sleeping Beauty."

Britta groaned as the Disney castle flashed across the screen. This was going to be a long night.

The goal was to space out while Galilee watched the movie, but it was so ridiculously awful, she was forced to comment.

"So the baby is born and they automatically just sell her to the next kingdom huh? Oh we don't care who you fall in love with, you are going to marry this prince because we say so and you are just a woman and have no rights. How stupid." Galilee glanced at the frowning blonde, confused, but turned back to the movie.

"Beauty and song? Why don't they give her a useful gift such as a business degree? Or teach her how to farm?" Galilee turned towards Britta and ssshed her with a finger to her lips. Britta crossed her arms and slumped down into the couch chastened for a few minutes.

"Are you telling me that she is going to kill her just because she wasn't invited to the party? Just another way the media stereotypes women as being vindictive and petty over silly things."

Galilee turned from the movie once again to look at Britta, "You'd be upset to if you weren't invited."

"Yea, but would I curse someone?"

Rolling her eyes, "It's a movie Aunt Britta."

Britta was quiet for awhile, but interjected once Prince Phillip entered the picture, "Oh yes, just tell a strange man where you live, that's the smart thing to do. Has she never heard of stranger danger?"

"She loves him."

"Loves him? She just met him."

"Please be quiet. I'm trying to enjoy the movie. It's a classic." Galilee stated in a matter of fact tone. Britta stared at the little girl. She had definitely spent too much time with Abed.

When the movie got to the part where Prince Phillip was fighting his way into the castle to save Princess Aurora, Britta became enraged. What a load of chauvinistic bullshit.

She turned to the child and asked, "Are you seriously enjoying this? This is blatantly promoting the stereotype that a woman needs a man to save her. She just lays there and does absolutely nothing while this Prince risks his life fighting for her, which no man would ever do. Why can't she save herself? If her fairies have magic to put the whole kingdom to sleep, why can't they save her? I thought good was supposed to be stronger than evil in these stories! I guess they finally got something right with the fact that the 'evil' fairy is more powerful than the good ones. If this was real life she would be the CEO of an oil company and the other fairies would be wildlife activists trying to protect a lake!"

Britta gasped catching her breathe, when she noticed Galilee's large eyes on her. Galilee grabbed the remote to pause the movie and turned her body to fully face Britta. She had her formidable face on and counted off on her fingers as she addressed Britta's concerns.

"One, I don't know what stereopipe means. Two, I don't know what CEO means, but mama complains about hers all the time. Three, spoiler alert, the good fairies win. Five, you are ruining the movie. Nine, you are crazy and make no sense."

Britta glared at the toddler, "What I'm trying to tell you is that Disney teaches you that you need a prince to save you, and a castle to be happy. It gives you an unrealistic view of life that will lead you to be disappointed and alone in the end. It's all about wearing pretty dresses and being a perfect princess."

Galilee seemed to ignore Britta, and walked toward the DVD shelf again. She pulled out several DVDs and carried them over to the coffee table.

"If it pleases the court I'd like to present tidbit A!"

Britta looked at Galilee, "What are you doing? Are you trying to lawyer me?"

"Yes, I'm presenting my case, like Daddy does."

"Oh, then I think you meant exhibit."

Galilee cleared her throat and held up the movie Aladdin, "Extidbit A: Aladdin. Princess Jasmine doesn't want to be a Princess and runs away. She falls in love with a street rat, and she wears pants. Plus she has a pet tiger and that's just cool cool cool."

She set the movie down and held up the next, "Extidbit B: Little Mermaid. She doesn't want to be a princess either. She wants to explore the land, and runs away from her father and falls in love. Her and the prince beat the evil octopus lady. N: Beauty and the Beast. She stays so her daddy can leave. And the beast is scary looking, but she falls in love with him anyway. AND she didn't even know he was a prince!" Galilee cried while gesturing her arms wildly.

"And my final piece of effidence is Mulan. She runs away to join the army so her Daddy doesn't have to. She cuts off her long pretty hair and dresses up like a man. And she even gets shot. But she saves the day!"

The little girl smiled in triumph, confident that her arguments would convince Aunt Britta how great Disney was. Unfortunately Britta could not be swayed by a four year old.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It also proves that a little girl should do whatever it takes to make her father happy, including risking her life. Well I'm sorry but a girl should live her life for her and not for her father! Besides you are like 4, you have no idea what you are talking about."

Galilee looked on as Britta continued to rant. She picked up on some of what she was saying but a lot was going over her head. One thing was clear though, Aunt Britta had gone crazy because she obviously didn't listen to reason. Darting to the phone she picked up the receiver and pressed number six on the speed dial.

Britta finally noticed Galilee at the phone and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Calling for help!"

Britta's eyes widened and she darted toward Galilee, grabbing the phone from her and slamming it down on the cradle. The two stood silently and held each other's eyes in an angry stare. Suddenly Galilee opened her mouth and let out an ear piercing scream. It reminded Britta of when Annie had freaked out over her stupid pen in the study room, only smaller.

"Quiet! Someone might call the cops!"

"Good! HELP!" Britta went to grab Galilee, but the tiny girl evaded her. "HELP ME! HELP ME!"

A chase ensued around the house. Galilee grabbed her coloring books and threw them on the ground to slow Britta down. Britta's foot slid on a Sesame Street coloring book, but she quickly regained her balance and followed her into the kitchen. Galilee stood on one side of the middle island and Britta stood on the other. Galilee lunged right, causing Britta to lunge to her left, but the girl quickly backtracked and ran down the hallway instead. Britta finally caught her in the master bedroom.

"Aha! I got you!" She cried.

"Britta, what are you doing to Lilee?" The two girls froze.

"Troy?"

"UNCLE TROY! You came to save me!" Troy chuckled, and Britta loosened her arms enough to allow Galilee to escape and run over to Troy.

Britta regained her bearings, "Troy what are you doing here?"

"I got a call from the house, but no one said anything. Jeff and Annie would have used their cell phones, so I assumed it was Lilee. When it abruptly hung up, I got worried and came right over."

Galilee cuddled into Troy's arms and looked up at him adoringly. Britta looked on, unreasonably jealous.

"What, do you think he is your prince?"

Galilee stuck her tongue out at Britta, "You are a stinky poo head."

"Whoa, let's slow your roll down." Troy said, trying to be the voice of reason. "What's going on?"

"She said Disney was stupid!"

"I did NOT say it was stupid!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO DID TOO DID TOO! She did Uncle Troy; she was upset by Sleeping Beauty. Something about stereopipes and a CBO." Troy nodded in understanding, "I tried to convince her, but she wouldn't listen."

"Did you bring up Princess Jasmine?" Nod. "And the fact that she wore pants and had a tiger?" A second nod. "What about Mulan? Belle? Ariel?" Galilee proceeded to nod after each name was listed, "Serious Britta, how much more proof do you need?"

Britta opened her mouth, but Galilee beat her to it, "And then she said I shouldn't try to make daddy happy. Why would I want daddy to be sad?"

"You wouldn't. Britta just is crazy sometimes. Why don't you pick out a new movie, and I'll come out and watch it with you in a minute?"

The little girl nodded and flounced out of the room, Britta glaring at her the entire time. Troy looked at her and frowned.

"What? Go ahead and tell me how I britta'd it. I ruined that little girl."

Troy snorted, "Have you met her? Add up Jeff and Annie's stubbornness, duplicate it and times it by five and you might be close to the level that little girl has. You definitely did not ruin her."

Britta sighed, "Those movies are just so… degrading."

"That's what you see when you watch them, because you've seen how dark the world can be. That girl sees them as wonderful adventures about the beauty of loving someone so much that you don't care whether they are a peasant, or a beast. You'd do anything to make them happy and they'd do anything in return. They have taught her to love who she is, and to love others for who they are and that you can love someone and still disagree with them. What is so wrong with that?"

"It's teaching her to be co-dependent."

Troy laughed, "She's four, of course she's co-dependent."

"Well, I'll admit some of the movies she talked about sounded okay. But Sleeping Beauty was horrible."

"It was made in the 1950s, what do you expect? She probably picked it because she thinks you are Princess Aurora."

Britta looked startled, "What?"

"She likes to watch movies and pick out who each of us are. She doesn't know you that well, but she thinks you are pretty like Aurora, so that's you. Shirley is Princess Tiana, because she likes to cook (not because she's black, well maybe a little bit because she's black), she thinks her mom is Belle, or Jasmine depending on the day. Jeff is Prince Naveen because he is cocky and narcissistic or Aladdin, because he is a liar. Abed is Genie because of his ability to make things happen. Plus he knows some magic tricks. And Pierce is the Sultan because he is rich but has no idea what he is doing half the time."

Britta hadn't been paying attention during Troy's rambling, "Me? A princess? She thinks those things about Princesses, and I'm one of them?"

"That's what you got out of that?"

Britta smiled and nodded, "I guess I can live with that."

"Good, now hopefully she picked a movie that won't send you over the edge again."

"I'll be good."

Troy looked at her disbelievingly, but gestured for her to exit the room.

"Troy? Who does she think you are?"

"Oh, she usually tells me I'm whatever prince that week."

"She has a crush on you."

Troy stuck a pose, "Well who wouldn't, I'm awesome."

"Yeah you are. Thanks for coming over."

The two entered the living room and saw Galilee holding a stack of DVDs.

"How about Dumbo?"

Troy shook his head in the negative. Britta would rant about the mistreatment of circus animals.

"Lady and the Tramp?"

Puppy mills and strays. No.

"101 Dalmatians?"

Repeat rant from above. No.

"Tarzan?"

The destruction of the rainforest and poaching of wild animals. No.

"Cars?"

The oil industry and polluting the environment. No. The little girl looked lost as she eyed her remaining DVDs. She couldn't pick princess movies, movies about animals, or inanimate objects. What were they supposed to watch? One of her parent's movies? They were so boring.

Troy interrupted her, "Hey how about we watch WALL-E?"

Galilee nodded in excitement.

"Britta, promise that you won't rant about anything until the VERY end. You have to see where it is going before you complain."

"Make her pinky promise!"

Troy gave the little girl a high five and held out his pinky to Britta. Sighing she hooked her pinky with his. The three settled on the couch as the film began to play. Half way into the movie Galilee passed out into Troy's side. He gingerly picked the girl up to carry to bed.

The slight movement jostled her awake, "Don't forget Mr. Brigglebee."

Troy's arms were full, so Britta grabbed the stuffed bear and followed them into her room. Troy tucked her in and Britta set the toy next to her.

With wide eyes Galilee looked at Troy, "Next time can we give Mr. Brigglebee a peg leg?"

"Your mom said if I did anything else to the bear, she'd give me a peg leg."

Galilee smiled sleepily, "That's cause the neighbors called the police last time."

"Well you were screaming your head off."

"I was in character."

Yep, Britta thought, way too much time with Abed. Troy got up and gestured towards Britta that they should exit.

"Goodnight Lilee."

"Night Uncle Troy."

Britta was unsure of what to say. She stood awkwardly and opened her mouth to talk, but no words came out.

"Aunt Britta?"

"Yes?"

"We should do this again. I'll prove to you Disney is cool."

"Alright. Goodnight."

The two exited the room and proceeded to fall asleep watching WALL-E. Britta even kept her word and did not rant during the movie. Britta's head ended up tucked into Troy's shoulder as they cuddled together for warmth. That was how Annie and Jeff found them when they arrived home at 12:30 AM. They surveyed their home and saw DVDs strewn about the floor and coffee table, and coloring books and markers littering the floor on the way into the kitchen.

"I told Lilee not to call him. She was supposed to call me."

"She has a crush on him."

Jeff frowned, "Takes after her mother on that one. She has horrible taste at a young age."

Annie smiled winningly at him, "Don't worry, she'll grow out of it, I did. Now you go check on her and I'll find a blanket for these two."

Jeff made sure his daughter was tucked in, while Annie tucked in their two friends, before heading to their own bedroom.

Jeff kissed Annie's neck, "You're going to have to be extra quiet tonight, so we don't wake up our guests."

Annie giggled, "I'll try."

Galilee woke up early in the morning and found her parents still sleeping in bed. Deciding to go watch cartoons until they woke up, she headed into the living room. She frowned at the site before her. HER Uncle Troy was currently cuddled up to Aunt Britta.

Galilee looked at Mr. Brigglebee, "What are we going to do about this?"

She wiggled the bear around to make him look as if he was responding, waving the bear's arm and hook wildly in the process.

"True. He is old and so is she. And she is Princess Aurora. She deserves to find her prince, I still have time, after all I haven't gone to school yet."

With that finally thought she turned on the TV and started WALL-E at the point where she had fallen asleep.

AN: I imagined that Annie's daughter would be a combination of her and Jeff, with quirks from Troy and Abed thrown in, because I feel they are kid friendly and would spend time with her.

Hope you enjoyed.