Disclaimer: Don't own, never will!

Authors note: This takes place in the 1st season.

Special thanks: I have got to thank Chance and JamieBlue for helping me get this done. They have helped keep me sane while trying to write this!
Also, Chance was wonderful and let me use references to her story Past Hauntings. It can be found at renenet.net

Lucas woke up with a headache that made a hangover look mild. He had never had a headache this bad. He attempted to sit up, but the sudden movement caused to instantly gag. He laid back down, trying to let the nausea subside. When he felt he could open his mouth without vomiting, he called for Nathan. Nathan came in the room, almost running into the door frame in his haste

"What's wrong?"

"I've got a headache that only compares to being hit by a small Mac truck. I tried to sit up and almost threw up. "

Nathan tried to remember what they'd had last night to eat. It had only been spaghetti, garlic bread, and a salad. There was nothing that would cause these symptoms, plus Nathan would have something wrong with him as well.

"Can you walk?"

"I'll try. "

Lucas sat up slowly, feeling the nausea come back in full strength. Nathan helped hold him steady as Lucas let the immediate need to vomit subside.

"I take that as a no."

"Maybe, just let me get used to sitting first. Could you help me get dressed?"

"Sure." Nathan grabbed a pair of jeans near the bed and helped Lucas put them on. He was very unsteady on his feet, having to lean heavily on Nathan. They had just gotten his shirt on, when Lucas paled greatly "I've got to throw up!" Nathan helped him to the bathroom, getting him there just in time. After he was done, Nathan wiped his mouth with a wash cloth. "I'm taking you to the hospital. Do you think you can make it there ok?"

"Should be able to, but I won't make any promises."

Nathan watched the boy with growing concern. "Do we need to call a air lift?"

"No, just take me, please." They got out to the boat and headed off to the mainland. Nathan called the dock supervisor so his car would be ready when they arrived. They docked and Nathan helped Lucas get into the car.

The boy was getting paler by the minute. Nathan wondered if he should get an ambulance to take them in. By the time they arrived at the ER, Nathan was basically caring Lucas. Nathan sat Lucas in the waiting room, while he went to fill out paperwork. Lucas was seen within 5 minutes. The phlebotomist came in and took blood, and asked if Lucas could give them a urine specimen. Lucas looked up, more than a little embarrassed. "Could you help hold me steady? I'm not too sure about my balance." Nathan just nodded, knowing Lucas hated being helped with most things.

At 10, they took Lucas to get full body x-rays, a CT scan, and an mri. They were back by 10:30. About 11 a doctor came by and told them Lucas would be admitted to the 5th floor. They arrived at the room and got Lucas settled in. The nurse finally came in and started an IV around 1:30. He was still having sever nausea, so they gave him some tygane to try to reduce it. Lucas did not want Nathan to leave his side, so Nathan stayed by him. He made calls to the crew, mainly Kristen who would want to be there. At 5 they brought a tray for Nathan, but not for Lucas. The doctors were keeping him NPO until they figured out if surgery was necessary to correct the problem. Nathan hated to eat in front of Lucas, but the boy insisted it was ok. He'd rather watch Nathan eat than be alone. Nathan tried to make light of the situation by teasing Lucas with the delicious hospital peas. It was edible food, but field rations tasted about the same. Lucas had laughed at Nathan 's face as he tried to eat the 'fresh' strawberries. The expression was one that mirrored that bitter beer face commercial.

"At least I can have solid food!"

"I think I'll pass on that type of solid food. Hospital food can normally kill the visitors of the patient."

"True, I normally live off of vending machines."

"Last time my friend Allan was in the hospital, I lived on snickers and coke."

"That's healthy, don't let Kristen know that."

"She already loves my eating habits. I do eat, just not at the 'normal' times that most people do. Thanks for sitting with me. I know I sound like a baby, but I like having someone here with me."

"It's no problem. Where else do I have to go?"

"My parents always found other places to be. Even when I was little, they never would even visit." Nathan just shook his head. He still remembered what Lucas told him when he'd been shot at the conference. Nathan was just glad Lucas was there with him, at least now the boy knew people did love him.

"Is anyone else coming?"

"Yeah, Kristen will be here by morning and rest of the senior staff about the same time. They were all staying at the same resort."

"Sorry about messing up your shore leave."

"Not a problem. Would you rather be on SeaQuest with Kristen as the doctor?"

"It's a toss up. She's a great doctor, but then again the doctors here don't know to ask if I've eaten in the last 2 hrs and what it was, did I let Ben talk me into this or that....."

"Your saying she knows you too well?"

"Almost. I still have some secrets." Nathan raised an eyebrow. "really? Like what?" Lucas looked at him, seeing the mischief in his eyes. "Oh nothing" They both ended up laughing.

At 7 p.m. the doctor came in. "Hi, I'm Doctor Shotts. I reviewed your CT scan, your ventricles seem to be enlarged. Have you had any recent head injuries?"

"No, I just woke up to day with a terrible headache, and a wonderful bout of nausea. I have had a mild headache for the last few days, but it didn't bother me that much. I thought it was my body adapting to being upworld again."

"Ok. We're looking at getting you into surgery at about 10, barring all emergencies. We'll need to do another CT scan to get the computer alignment right. Do either of you have any questions?"

"Yes, " said Nathan, "What exactly are you going to be doing?"

"We are going to use a computer to put a catheter in-between his ventricles, then the catheter will run to a shunt or pressure valve on the exterior of his skull. Then a drainage tube will be placed in his abdomen and brought up to the shunt and connected there. This should relieve the pressure in his brain."

"Will he have any type of brain damage with this?"

"There is always a chance. He could have some memory loss or bleeding, but it is not expected. That has happened before, but that could happen with anyone where they mess with your brain."

Nathan didn't like the thought of that, but it seemed to be the only option. He felt Lucas squeeze his hand. "It's going to be ok, Captain. I'm to mean to die." Nathan just sighed and tried to smile.

"I hope your right Lucas. I really don't want to lose you." Lucas looked at Nathan with the worlds most beautiful smile.

"Don't worry about it. I've lived through a lot and come out on top, this will be no different."

"Why is your doing the reassuring, when it's supposed to be my job?"

"Basically, if it's happening to you, it's not as scary as watching it happen to another person."

"I guess your right."

At that point, a nurse came in with a razor and supplies for the CT scan.

"I'm going to have to shave your head to put these on and when we operate." Lucas's shock showed on his face.

"Your shaving off all my hair? You never said anything about that."

Nathan, despite his best effort laughed.

"He values his hair."

"We can save it for you, if you like." Dr. Shotts offered. The doctor could see the boy had a problem with his hair being shaved.

"Ok, I just get to grow it out even longer after this!" Nathan just rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to shave it all now or in the OR?"

"I guess now, but I get to keep it."

"Just curious, but why so worried about the hair?"

"I have enough trouble getting girls with being a computer geek, now being a bald geek makes it even tougher."

"Ok, then lets get started."

Nathan watched as they shaved Lucas's head, knowing it wasn't going to be easy for Lucas until his hair grew back out. The doctor then put the donuts on certain places on Lucas's head, then said "ready to go get your CT scan done?" Lucas nodded and climbed into the wheelchair.

"We should be back in about 15 minutes."

"Ok, I'm going to get a snickers."

Nathan got back in the room before Lucas did. Outside he was calm, seeming to understand and be in control. He wasn't the same on the inside, however. Lucas could have brain damage or even die! The rational part of him knew Lucas would be fine, but the irrational part kept insisting otherwise. 'what happens if he doesn't remember you or the crew? What if he dies, do you sign over his organs?' He told his brain to shut up, none of that would happen.

Lucas came back, laid back down, content to look at his hair, that was now in a sterile sealed bag. By 9 P.M. Lucas was starting to wear out.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

"I'll try, but I really don't want to be here. Can we please go home?"

It warmed Nathan's heart some that the boy considered his house home.

"It'll be ok, they'll get your head functioning right, then we can go home."

"I bet Darwin misses us."

"I had Bill tell him what was going on."

"Admiral Noyce?"

"Yeah, he said to tell you he hopes you feel better."

"Did you contact the Wolenczek's?"

"Your parents?"

"Yeah, them. They prefer I call them by first names if I'm with them, but call them mom and dad when there's someone important there." Nathan just shook his head.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since I was 6. They said it was better that I learn to do that early."

"Any particular reason?"

"No, it's just that I'm a reminder that they screwed up their lives by having me."

"I'm sorry Lucas, I didn't know."

"It's ok, I haven't needed them for a long time."

Nathan looked at Lucas and rubbed his hand gently over Lucas's now shaven head. "If I could change the past, I would." Lucas smiled at Nathan.

"You have, in a way at least. I know you and the crew love me. Anyone can birth a child, it takes a person to love the child, to really be a parent." Nathan couldn't have been anymore speechless. Lucas smiled at Nathan, then said "will you stay with me while I sleep?"

"Sure kiddo."

With that Nathan put down the siderail and sat partially on the bed. Lucas rolled on his side, laying his head on Nathan's thigh. Nathan relaxed against the bed, with one hand rubbing Lucas's back. Lucas fell asleep within 10 minutes. Nathan watched him sleep, thinking of the boy's words.

At about 9:50 a nurse came in, with some papers in her hand. "Hi, I just have some things you need to sign. They are sending someone up for him in a few minutes."

"Ok, what all do I have to sign?"

"This is a form stating it's ok for him to receive blood products. It also states he is O+. Is this correct?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then I need you to sign on this line." Nathan looked at the paper, and signed where she said to.

"This next form is what you filled out in the ER stating his allergies and living will, donor status, that general thing. I just need your signature here." Nathan signed the second paper, really wishing they were anywhere but here.

"The last paper mainly states the doctor described the procedure and the risks."

"Ok, but I do have one question."

"Ok, what is it?"

"What are the odds of brain damage or memory loss?"

"I'd say not very likely, of all the patients I have had with this procedure, only one had even slight memory loss. She was also 80 and had slight memory loss before the surgery. I really don't feel the surgery had much to do with it."

"Ok, I still have this nagging thought he's not coming back."

"I can't say he won't have some problems, but it's not very likely."

"Thanks." The nurse handed Nathan his copy of the papers. Nathan looked down to see if Lucas was still asleep . His eye's were met with a pair of clear blue eyes that were unwavering. "I'll be ok, don't worry about me. Worry about all the heck I'm going to give everyone about being bald!" Nathan hugged Lucas close.

"How impossible are you going to be?"

"Take my worst and multiply it by 10^N."

"Great, a bald demanding geek." Lucas laughed inspite of his attempt to keep a straight face.

A OR tech came in, breaking up the conversation. "Lucas Wolenczek?" Lucas nodded. The next thing Nathan saw scared him more than any other thing in his life. Lucas was trembling, his blue eyes showing such fear. He wasn't even aware of his surroundings. Nathan exhaled, not really noticing that he was holding his breath.

"Lucas?" Lucas turned his direction. His trembling had not stopped, instead it had gotten worse.

"Are you cold?" the clueless tech asked. Lucas just nodded. "We've got some warm blankets for you in OR." Nathan was about to tell the tech they couldn't take Lucas, when Lucas looked up at him, trust showing through the panic. Nathan put on his best captain face "Your going to be fine." Lucas nodded, the trembling lessening only somewhat. Nathan got up, allowing the tech to raise the bed, but not letting loose of Lucas's hand. Just before the tech took him, Nathan leaned over the bed, kissed Lucas's forehead and hugged him.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Captain."

With that the tech wheeled him out to take him to surgery. Nathan sat down, feeling helpless. The boy had trembled, never saying he was scared, just trembled. Nathan had seen fear, even panic, but this hit too close to Carol's death. At least she had died in her sleep. She had been afraid when she was dying, her eyes spoke what she refused to say. Nathan had tried to be strong for her, giving her all the strength he didn't think he had. Now with Lucas, he felt the same thing. The longing to take away the fear, but not knowing how.

He decided to try to divert his attention, so he got Lucas's lap top out of the bag they'd packed before they left the island. He logged in as Lucas had shown him, and searched the hard drive for something to read. Lucas read and wrote X-files fan fiction, so there should be some on there. He ended up finding some Zena fan fiction instead, but it would do. He read several, then finally found some X-Files Lucas had written. He was actually writing about stuff that happened on the SeaQuest, but the reader wouldn't know that. The story he was reading was about Mulder and Scully finding some strange glowing substance that the lone gunmen thought was worth something. It ended up only being hospital wastes mixed with some jellyfish remains. 'Kreig would kill Lucas if he ever read that one. ' thought Nathan.

Nathan finally put the computer down, tired of reading. The glow of the screen was bothering his tired eyes. He had been reading for about 2 hrs. He went to the nurses station. "Has there been any call from OR about Lucas Wolenczek yet?"

"Not yet Captain, they should be closing soon, though."

"Thank you."

Nathan was curious why she called him captain, until he remembered Lucas had called him it several times. Nathan walked down the hall, stretching out his tired legs. He heard a voice behind him. "Captain Bridger?" He turned around, to see Dr. Shotts standing by the nurses station.

"How is he?" Nathan could barely contain his anticipation.

"He's fine. The catheter went in without a problem, we did have some problems pulling the drainage tube up, because of some old stare tissue. It was in the shoulder, according to his records, he's had a wound there caused by firearms."

"Yes, he is an active member of the SeaQuest crew."

"That would explain it. Anyway, he's going to be fine. He woke up completely after the surgery. It was like the anesthesia had little post op affects."

"Your lucky he didn't wake up on you during the surgery, he did that to Kristen once."

"What?"

"She was doing a minor scope of his shoulder once, when he just woke up. It scared her nicely. Lucas thought it was funny."

Nathan laughed a tense laugh. He was just getting off the adrenaline high he'd been on for the last 16 hrs. The doctor smiled at Nathan.

"He'll be in post op for about another hour and a half. He's in ICU recovery. They'll bring him back to the room."

"Why ICU recovery?"

"With this type of surgery, we want no possible infection."

"What type of infections?"

"Meningitis, peritonitis, really bad things like that. He'll be receiving 3 doses of antibiotics before he is released."

"Will he need any medications after this?"

"He shouldn't. I'll give him a prescription for Tylenol 3 with codeine for pain. He may need it, he may not. It all depends on him."

"Can he eat after this?"

"Yes, whatever he can tolerate."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem, just have the nurse page me if you have any other questions." With that Dr. Shotts went to finish paperwork and get some rest.

Nathan walked down to the vending machine, getting a snickers and a coke for Lucas, and a Baby Ruth and a coke for himself. He wondered around the ground floor, letting his mind wander and unwind. Finally, he returned to the room, content to let life come as it would. Lucas was wheeled in about 30 minutes later, looking around tiredly. His eyes searched, until they found Nathan. "Captain?" Nathan walked to the bed and gently took Lucas's hand.

"I'm here. How do you feel?"

"Like someone let Kreig pilot the launch again."

Nathan smiled, remembering the last time Kreig rolled the launch.

"Want to see my bandages?" Lucas asked as he pulled down the cover.

"Sure, but don't bother them, Kristen will have your head and mine for that."

Lucas showed Nathan the small incision on his abdomen, the even smaller one on his neck, and finally the large incision covered by several 4X4's and surgical tape.

"Wonder what the scar will look like. I hope my hair will cover it."

"I thought you wanted a scar?"

Lucas just stuck his tongue out at Nathan.

"Could you help me get up and go to the bathroom?"

"Sure. Where can't I hold on to?"

"Mainly just hold onto my side, my belly is really sore." Nathan helped Lucas sit up, noting the boy was a little dizzy.

"Just sit until you can stand up. Can you use the bedside urinal?"

"Right, the last time I tried that, they had to clean the floor, change the bed, and give me a new gown."

"Ok, feeling any better?"

"Yeah, some."

Nathan moved the IV pole so Lucas could get up. Lucas immediately put his arm around Nathan's waist, holding himself steady. Together they walked into the bathroom. Nathan stood behind him, letting him do as much as he could by himself. Lucas finished, sitting the container for the nurse to measure and record his output. They got back the bed, when Lucas asked if Nathan would help him walk around the hall some.

"I guess, do you want some pants?"

"That would be nice. I don't want to give any nurse wanting to do an anal temperature any ideas. "

Nathan laughed as he went to find a nurse. Lucas may have been through a major surgery, but he still had his deranged sense of humor. Nathan came back with some pants and a nurse, while she measured the output, Nathan helped Lucas with the pants. They walked the hall several times before Lucas finally tired out. They returned to the room, with the nurse waiting there with the antibiotic. Lucas laid down, finally content to sleep. Nathan pulled a chair up to the bed and curled up as best he could. The nurse came in to do vitals, then asked Nathan if he'd like to sleep on the other bed in the room. Nathan smiled, but told her he'd rather be in the chair. The nurse came back in several minutes later with a blanket and pillow. She pulled the other chair up to Nathan's feet.

"If you insist of killing your back, at least take this pillow and blanket."

Nathan smiled at the nurse, knowing she didn't have to take time out of her shift for him, but she was still trying to make him feel better.

"Thanks."

"No problem, I know it's not the easiest having a child in the hospital. My daughter just had her appendix removed. It was nerve racking for me. I'm used to being on the other side of it, not being the family watching what was happening, rather the person who knew what was going on."

"I know the feeling. I'm the captain of the SeaQuest. I used to knowing what's going on. Here I'm just lost."

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look.

"Try to get some sleep, he should be discharged tomorrow."

"They will release him that early?"

"Barring any complications, yes. He does have a slight fever, but that is to be expected. The body is healing it's self."

"How high of a fever?"

"He's at 101 right now. I'm going to give him so Tylenol in a little while to try to bring that down. If it gets above 101.5, then we do blood work, but everything seems ok." She left the room to get the Tylenol.

After she was done giving his medications, she left Lucas to sleep. Nathan finally fell asleep at 4 a.m. He woke at 6 to a familiar hand on his shoulder. Kristen and crew stood around the bed.

"Hi. When did you guys get here?"

Kristen answered "We got here at 530. Lucas said you didn't fall asleep until late, so we let you sleep." Nathan looked over at Lucas who was currently showing off his bandages. Lucas turned to Nathan. "Where's my hair?"

Ben was the first to laugh and say "At least now you'll have a military hair cut." Lucas glared at Ben, until he noticed Commander Ford kick Ben, then he laughed. Nathan retrieved the bag from the drawer.

"See how long it is?" asked Lucas, "It gets to grow back even longer!" The commander and Crocker groaned, while Tim and Migs just shook their heads. "Much longer and it'll be longer than mine," complained Katie. Nathan watched his crew laugh and make fun of each other for awhile. They seemed to be relieved to see Lucas ok. He looked up at Kristen, who was looking worriedly at him. "what?"

"How are you holding up?"

"Not bad. It's better now that he's where I can touch him, realize that he's still alive."

Kristen's hand gently squeezed his shoulder, "We were all so worried about you both. "

The chatter quieted down, so that the rest of the hospital could sleep. Finally at 8 Dr. Shotts came in and cleared Lucas to leave. The only limitations were that Lucas could not shower until the stitches were removed. He could take a bath, just no water running over the stitches, getting them wet. The bandages could come off in 48 hrs. Kristen talked to the doctor who said she could remove the stitches. She could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. The doctor said to have a CT scan done in 3 months, to make sure everything was ok. He also stated to come back in if there was any more headache, nausea/vomiting, or high fever. Nathan helped Lucas dress, while the rest of the crew got the cars ready.

The nurse brought a wheelchair around, but Lucas wanted to walk. He insisted he had to work the soreness out his system. The nurse finally gave up, noting that there were plenty of people to catch him if he fell. They got down to Bridger's car when Lucas asked if they could stop for breakfast. Nathan didn't mind, he wanted real food, not the stuff that was good for you that they served at the hospital. Nathan told the crew they were stopping at Mc Donald's. They decided to stop as well. The poor people at Mc Donald's didn't know what to do with all of them. Finally after breakfast and getting everything done, they finally reached the island. The crew had stopped there before coming to the hospital, to drop off their stuff. Nathan found places for everyone to sleep, while everyone found stuff to do. Tim and Lucas were down with Darwin who was inspecting Lucas. The day ended rather uneventful, which to the crew that was ok.

Later that night Nathan walked out on the dock, watching the moon and stars. He heard the dock creak as Lucas walked up in his boxers and t-shirt.

"It's beautiful out here."

"I know, Carol and I used to sit out here for hours. "

"Captain, I wanted to say thank you for being there with me. It means a lot to me."

"I know it does Lucas. I just wish I could help more."

"Captain, your doing great, " said Lucas. He looked at Nathan, trying to figure out what to say next. He knew he should say it, but it was very ackward to say to another man. "Captain....I love you." Nathan could see the boy was struggling with the emotion. "I love you too, Lucas. " Nathan put his arm around Lucas, hugging him gently.

"I'm not used to having someone love me. I've always been a burden to the Wolenczek's."

"You'll never be a burden to me." With that, they sat back to watch the stars, relaxing for the first time in a while.

Nathan noticed Lucas was getting tired, his head leaning more and more into his shoulder.

"Lets get some sleep, Kristen will want to check you over to see if the hospital missed anything."

"Did they miss anything? I think they poked and tested every part of me."

Nathan just laughed as they made their way back to the house.