He waited for the plane to finish docking. It was surreal almost—coming home again. It felt like an eternity since he'd been home; it was good to be back. The tall man unfastened his seatbelt and stood to grab his carry-on from the above storage space. He grabbed the suitcase of a woman next to him and handed it to her, nodding his head when she thanked him. A child watched him with awe as he walked past; he smiled a little. The flight attendant manning the door smiled at him and thanked him for his bravery. He fought back the bitter laugh, his bravery? No more like his cowardice.
The man walked out of the boarding station and into the airport, anxiety following him like a storm cloud. Heads turned as he walked by. Women's eyes followed him as if he were the epitome of their fantasies. A few people stopped him to thank him; some asked to take pictures with him. He took them, even though he didn't want to. The smile he plastered on for the camera felt like melted plastic on his face; he didn't feel like smiling and playing nice with the civilians, he just wanted to go home. A young girl, no older than five, tugged on his pant leg and handed him her teddy bear while her mother smiled sweetly at him. He bent down and thanked the girl, giving his first real smile in what had felt like years.
He stood up and his eyes immediately met hers. She was dressed in a white turtle neck, pink jeans, and white boots. Pink gloves graced her hands, and she held her pink ear warmer headwrap. His eyes scanned her, making sure she was ok, then settled on the metal perched around her neck; his dog tags. He fought the urge to run to her, to push people out of his way and run to her like a cheesy romantic comedy; she felt no such control. At a full sprint she rushed him. He dropped his bag just in time to catch her as she leapt into his arms, squeezing him tightly as if to make sure he was really in front of her after all this time. The crowd around them cheered and clapped and 'awed' at the couple, happy to see them reunited.
Tears cascaded down her face as she kissed him frantically; her diamond ring glinted off the ceiling lights. He put her back on the ground but held her close, scared that if he let go for even a moment, she would disappear. The crowd began to disperse, some wishing they could have a romance like that of the two in the middle of the walkway, some thinking of their own loves.
They said nothing as he picked up his bag and grabbed her hand; nothing as the waited for the rest of his bags. Nothing as they took the shuttle to the parking lot. It was not until they were settled into their Nissan Pathfinder, and she pulled onto the snowy freeway that she spoke.
"You ok?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, too afraid to shatter their fragile peace.
"Honestly? No." He glanced out the window and watched downtown Baltimore pass them by. She watched the road, unsure of what to say to him. He grabbed her right hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. "But I will be." He comforted her.
"A few people are at the house to welcome you back, I can tell them to leave if you want me to." She glanced at him when the traffic allowed her to take her eyes off the road. She felt like she was walking on egg shells with him, after so long, it would take a great deal of readjusting to each other. The situation he had to come home to didn't make it any better for them.
"No it's ok; I should get it over with anyway before…" the funeral. He couldn't finish the sentence, so their minds finished it for him. The woman sighed and continued driving. They pulled up to their beautiful house in the Woodcrest suburb of Baltimore, Maryland. The twinkling Christmas lights were a deceiving beacon for him. Fear and anxiety gripped his heart as he grabbed his bags. He dreaded the words he knew were coming, would have run away if he wasn't so tired of running.
She opened the door and silence had overtaken those inside. A welcome home banner dangled from the ramparts of the stairs. People carrying mugs of hot chocolate and eggnog nodded and welcomed him home. The man was slightly taken aback by the fog of love that permeated his house. All the people there he had terrorized as a child. His wife grabbed his bags and put them in the linen closet instead of carrying them up the stairs; she didn't want to leave him alone until she knew for sure he was ok.
Feeling a little overwhelmed, the man graciously accepted the 'welcome homes', waiting expectantly for the condolences that had yet to come. It seemed everyone was waiting for the funeral until they reminded him why he was home in the first place.
"It's good to have you home boy." The man looked up to the top of the stairs and blinked back the tears in his eyes.
"It's good to be back, Granddad." The man walked up the stairs to embrace his grandfather. Helping the old man down the stairs, he looked for his wife, who he had seen disappear into one of the back rooms. She appeared a few moments later with a toddler in her arms. Everyone had walked into the kitchen and living room and was conversing over the light snacks placed on the counter.
Granddad walked himself to his chair and talked to Tom Dubois about God knew what. He looked at the little girl in his wife's arms and couldn't help but smile; she looked so much like his wife. Sections of her wild curly hair had escaped the four braids her mother had styled. The little girl fought the sleep that clouded her vision, as she looked up at him. His wife attempted to hand her over but he shrank back in uncertainty.
"Maybe we should wait until she's more alert." He didn't want to scare her by having her wake up in unfamiliar arms.
"She knows who you are Riley." He looked at her skeptically. His wife shook her head and bent down to their daughter's ear level. "Cam cam, who's that?" The toddler eyed the tall man in front of her and instantly her hazel eyes lit up.
"Da!" The toddler screeched and clapped her hands, amused that she could easily identify him. Riley felt as if the world had been lifted off his shoulders; it would have discouraged him if his daughter had not known who he was. Though she had heard his voice and had seen him on video chat, he wasn't too sure if she would recognize him. This was the first time he and Camille had met; he was away on duty when Jazmine had told him she was pregnant and all throughout Cami's 18 months of life. Up until this instant, Riley hadn't truly felt like a father. The little girl reached for him and he gladly took her from her mother's arms.
"Hey there Cami, did you miss Daddy?"
"Da!" She screamed again, and Riley couldn't help but laugh with her. Jazmine's heart swelled, finally seeing her husband hold their daughter. While she was confident Camille would recognize her father, she knew Riley did not share her certainty. As many times as he could, Riley called to tell them good night, and she had always held the phone to their daughter's ear so she could memorize his voice. Riley had a voice you couldn't forget; his deep baritone invaded your senses and made you feel warm and protected.
"Come one, we've got a party to not avoid." Jazmine smiled and walked into the living room, Riley trailing behind her with their little girl resting against his broad shoulder.
Tom and Robert shared a smile at the little family. They were a beautiful fit. Riley approached his father-in-law and promptly shook his hand. A little surprised at the firmness of the grip, Tom noted the man Riley had become.
"I'm glad you were able to make it back. I know how bureaucratic the military can be." Tom tried to make light conversation.
"Sometimes they can be, I was honorably discharged remarkably fast though." Riley really didn't want to talk about the military, or his reason for being discharged.
"Let's leave the business talk for later and simply enjoy the fact that he's home shall we?" Tom's wife, Sarah, gracefully intervened. Riley didn't miss the grateful look Jazmine shot her mother. Camille sat up and rubbed her eyes, probably unable to sleep with the lights and the noise.
"Well hey there cutie pie." Granddad addressed his great granddaughter. The toddler smiled to the old man then looked back at her father.
"Eat!" The guest chuckled at the adorable little girl. Riley noted her preference for single worded sentences.
"Ok baby we'll get you fed." Jazmine went into the kitchen and grabbed one of the toddler approved meals and stuck it in the microwave. She pulled out a jar of baby peaches and a juicy for her as well. Riley sat the little girl in her high chair and popped the top off the peaches and began to feed her the squishy fruit.
"Who would have thought you'd make such a good family man? Certainly not everyone here after seeing you terrorize the streets." Riley smirked at the voice and looked over his shoulder at the blond.
"I didn't think I'd be a family man that's for sure. How you been C-Murph?" The young woman smiled at the old nickname.
"Good Reeze, just keeping your chick in order when she gets crazy."
"Please, chick you drive me crazy." Jazmine retorted with a laugh. Cindy was always the first one to help out with Camille when she was needed. The two women, despite their obvious personality clash when they were younger were best friends. Riley couldn't help the smile that over took his face, for now, it was good to be back.
"Rpg sighted! He's out of our range!"
"Roger that, dust-01 you have an insurgent on your 6 evasive maneuvers, repeat get out of there now!" While his scout shouted over the order to the Humvee carrying the package, Riley doped his scope to the right clicks and fired. The shot was still about 200 meters short, and anything that could shoot farther than his .50 was back at base. Riley kept tracking the insurgent's movements, relaying coordinates back to his scout. They could hear the dust-01 commander shouting orders and gunfire raining from the Humvees. Riley felt useless; the insurgent was out of his high powered rifle's range.
"There's a split off up ahead, should we take it?" The commander questioned.
"Negative! That path isn't showing up on the gps, do not take it!" Riley's scout scanned over the gps for other routes while he watched the insurgent. Something was wrong. The insurgent had the clear drop on the Humvee caravan, so what was he waiting for?
"Gray, they're heading into a trap!" He called to his scout while re-doping his scope, ready for anyone who had followed the splash back to their location. Captain Gray relayed Riley's deduction to the Humvees but there was nothing they could do.
"We can't go back into Fallujah, there'll likely be insurgents waiting for us there. Lieutenant Colonel Freeman do see anything in front of us?" Riley scanned the layout through his scope.
"Negative Commander Rogers, but something could be buried, without a drone sweep we won't know. The insurgent is still in pursuit, dust-01 you are out of range; dust-02 and 03 are still in range of the rpg."
"Roger that! We'll—"A blast went off. Riley and Captain Gray saw smoke from the i.e.d. and heard the terrifying screams of the officers in dust-01. Before Gray had a chance to check the conditions or call base to prep for medical the insurgent fired the rpg. The rocket sailed into dust-03 and decimated the armored vehicle. Scanning through the scope, Riley saw dust-02 swerve around the fiery ball of metal. Gray was about to call the final Humvee to halt but another i.e.d went off, engulfing the last of the caravan in flames.
Riley jerked awake, sweat drenching his body and his side of the bed. He ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach, barely making it to the toilet in time. The haunting screams of the men and women burning quickly invaded his senses. Jazmine, startled by her husband's thrashing and screaming, followed quickly after him.
"Riley!" She paused for a split second, taking in the sight of her husband. He lie on the floor, shakes and shivers consuming his entire body. He looked at his hands and watch them shake worse that an earthquake. Snapping out of her stupor, Jazmine rinsed a towel in cold water and pressed it to his head.
"Riley, baby it's ok. It's over; you're home, you're safe." She held him and rocked him, whispering the most comforting words she could. Her oversized night shirt became drenched with his sweat. Jazmine sat on the bathroom floor, holding him as he cried and gripped onto her as if she were his life line.
"Jazmine." Her heart broke at his whimper.
"I'm here baby; it's alright. Let it out. I'm here." They stayed there on the bathroom floor all night—she running her fingers through his shorn hair and rubbing soft circles into his back, and he trying to forget the screams.
Through half lidded eyes, Jazmine watched the sunrise through their bathroom window. She didn't know how to help him, but she knew she had to. Grabbing a few towels she wrapped them around herself and her slightly quivering husband, and fell asleep.