Chapter 1
6th of September 10:12pm
My chocolate eyes darted around my unusually messy room as I felt the walls slope in again. Trapped. My Black walls seemed darker than ever before and my room seemed like it was shrinking. I couldn't breathe. I moved my head slightly to the left and felt a sharp pain throbbing down the side of my neck and fresh tears formed in my eyes. Who am I trying to kid here? I don't feel at home in my own room. After the pain seemed to simmer away, I tried once again to look around my room and felt a massive blow to my chest. There were too many memories and moments with her that ill treasure forever.
"Santana? Honey? Please come out, it's been a week. I miss you darling."
I sat there cradling my face in the palms of my hand in silence. I had no answer to that. However, I took a deep breath and steadied myself. As if my mother could sense I was better, she slowly pushed open my door and crept through the small gap she made for herself. Bright, beaming light shone through the gap in the door which made me notice how dark my room was. I shut my eyes, scrunching up my forehead and rubbed my eye lids in comfort. When I eventually opened them again, I noticed my mother sat next to me on the bed.
"Mama, I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet." I started weakly.
"Mija, you're so much stronger than you think, please if you just…"
"No mum, you don't understand! She was the reason I was so strong! She gave me so much support, I, I..." I cut off sobbing in my mother's embrace. She rocked us back and forth soothing me softly, humming whilst stroking my hair in comfort.
"Okay sweet heart. Maybe it's too early. You missed her funeral though, it was beautiful. She would have loved it. Do you want to come down stairs? Maybe something to eat?" My mother asked earnestly. I shook my head in her chest and she nodded and kissed the top of my head. Slowly, she crept out of my room and shut my door quietly. Suddenly, as if I was struck by lightning, I quickly found energy I didn't know I had and rushed to my wardrobe. Ripping my bed clothes off, I shoved on some jogging pants, an old top and some pumps. I swiftly crossed my room and stopped at my window. I then pushed open my window and stuck my head out noticing it was warm out than normal. I slipped both legs out onto the ledge and jumped onto the brick arch then onto the floor skill fully. I've had a lot of practise over the years. Before I realized what I was actually doing, I found myself at the graveyard. I shoved both my hands in my pockets and strode the end of the park. There it was. Even her grave piece looked better than the others. I close my eyes furiously and sniffed hard so I didn't cry and opened up again. I looked sadly at the grave ahead.
"Hey B." I spoke softly. "Sorry I'm late."