A/N: One-shot. This is my (delayed) birthday present to my lovely Sandy on Fan Forum! Happy birthday sweetie! :) I'm sort of eehhh about this one. It's kind of mushy towards the end, sorry about that :P Review to let me know what you think!
Description: Post season 6 finale. Super-post, as in, a year and a half after the finale. Set to the song, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script, which is one of my most favorite songs right now.
Going back to the cornerwhere I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,I'm not gonna move.
Got some words on cardboard,got your picture in my hand,
saying, "If you see this girl,can you tell her where I am?"
He'd gotten the phone call from Meredith a few days before. He still kept in touch with her, probably more than he'd kept in touch with anyone else. Everyone had tried to sympathize with him after the accident. 'You're young, you'll bounce back quickly'. But Meredith knew better. And that's all he really needed; someone who knew him better.
He can definitely say that he tried. After he recovered, he spent weeks trying to pretend everything was normal. And it almost was; the hospital had replaced the floors of the supply closet, the elevator, the nurses' station, and the bridge connecting the two surgical wings. They said it was 'to avoid any unnecessary trauma'. And after he'd gotten used to it, he could almost walk through the hospital without cringing. But this feeling, it never kicked in for long. Eight months later, he was filling out applications for other hospitals to finish his residency in. The first acceptance letter was from a hospital a few hours from Seattle, which ultimately cut his social life down to the parking garage attendant. It sure was no Seattle Grace. People were cold and determined, and stepped on each other to get to the top, even if there was nothing waiting for them up there.
After a few months, he had vacillated whether or not he should move home. When he compared the people of Long View General Hospital to the people in Seattle Grace, there was no comparison. Ghosts walked the halls of that hospital, not surgeons. Patients were more annoying than usual, and doctors had no interest in anything besides themselves. And the worst part was that every time he drove down there, he usually slowed down as he passed large exit sign that read the words, "Chehalis – Exit 76".
He had contemplated driving down the exit every now and then, but where would he possibly go after he got off the highway? Better yet, what would he say to her? They hadn't spoke since the divorce had become finalized, and he wasn't even sure if mailing photocopies of documents with 'sign here' sticker tabs counted as speaking. Sometimes, he would kill to hear the sound of her voice, even if he would never let her know that. He missed waking up next to her. Even when they were living in that tiny, messy trailer, it was home; their home and he would give anything to have it back.
When Meredith called, she had an extra ounce of excitement in her voice. She invited him to Joe's after her shift that weekend, with Derek and Cristina. She told him that they all had missed him, and that she wanted to catch up. He listened to her talk about residency and patients and interns; a phone conversation which should have been fifteen minutes turned into forty-five. He reluctantly agreed to drinks and sleeping in her guest room for the night. The line she spoke right before she hung up, however, was the one that caught his attention. He was sure that she had saved it for last, in order to prevent him from backing-out of any plans. He ran the conversation in his head over and over, almost to convince himself that Meredith actually had spoken the words he had heard.
"Oh, and Alex? Izzie's coming home."
Some try to hand me money, they don't understand.
I'm not broke; I'm just a broken hearted man.
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do?
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?
He always drove fast when he was angry or nervous. He couldn't tell which one it was, but he assumed it was both. Angry, because she left him. And he was driving two hours to go and see her, which disgusted him. Where was his pride? She hurt him, and he was crawling back to her, like nothing had ever happened, and like what she did was okay with him. That wasn't the guy that Alex wanted to be. It made him seem pathetic, and if Meredith hadn't asked him, he wouldn't go.
Nervous, because it was Izzie. She had been his wife, and she was the person who'd seen the real him. And it had been a year, and what if she'd moved on? What if she had a boyfriend, or worse, a husband? He wouldn't be able to handle it. How could he stand there and not be affected by her? She even affected him when she wasn't around. Every time he thought about turning around and driving home, he remembered how badly he wanted to hear her voice. How much he'd missed her smile, and how just standing close to her sent volts of electricity in his bones. He'd been working so hard on getting over her, and going to Joe's that night would destroy everything he had been working towards.
He showed up late. He wouldn't speak of the inner debate he had for half an hour on whether or not he would go. 'There was traffic', he would tell everyone. He liked how familiar everything was once he was in Seattle; he knew exactly what street would take him where, and how to get anywhere he wanted. Everything was comfortable, and he missed living in a place that was so well-known to him.
He walked into the dimly-lit building and tried to spot where they were sitting. It was crowded, as usual, and a lot of the faces he saw were unfamiliar. He finally saw her from across the room, because she was the one that he was looking for. Izzie was sitting in between Cristina and Meredith. Her blonde hair was longer, now that she wasn't getting any chemo anymore. It was in soft curls that fell down to her shoulders. She looked different; there was something in her expression that he couldn't pinpoint. She always had a bright, happy appearance; it was one of the things he loved about her. When he saw her now, she still had same look, but more removed. As if her mind was in another place entirely. Most importantly, he realized that even though it had been almost a year and a half since he'd seen her, she looked more beautiful than he could ever remember.
Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here".
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year.
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows.
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go."
"Alex!" Meredith called, breaking up his thoughts. She stood up and walked closer to where he was standing, and gave him a small hug. "I'm so glad you came" she told him. "How are you doing?"
Meredith was the only person who knew about how Alex felt. She had tried countless times to get him and Izzie back together, and even went as far as calling Izzie and telling her that she needed her to come home. "What is this, Meredith? I thought you were done conspiring."
"This isn't a plan to get you two back together, I promise. This is a reunion. The five of us just haven't been together in so long. Everything always gets in the way, so I thought that we could just have one night where we can all just…have fun. And clearly, we can't do this without alcohol" she told him, with a small laugh.
One part of that statement caught his attention. "Mer… it's just the four of us now."
"Crap" she muttered under her breath. "Right. Sorry."
He shrugged. He didn't mind when people brought up the memory of George. In fact, he kind of liked it that nobody had forgotten about him. Sometimes it felt as if he was still around.
"Okay, listen to me. She has a job in Tacoma, and she's been in remission for almost two years. She had a scare a few months ago, but it was just false positive. She lives in an apartment that she rented out after she moved out of her mom's" she said, quickly. "Oh, and she's single."
Meredith walked him back to table, where they had saved an empty chair for him. It looked as if they had all, besides Cristina, had about one drink, so he knew he wasn't that late. He shook hands with Derek, who asked him about his job in Long View. He told him it was good, that he was working with some great residents and really learning a lot; his usual line.
Cristina was the next person to greet him. "Oh, come on, you invited evil spawn? This night officially sucks now."
He was glad to see that Cristina hadn't changed. "Good to see you too, Yang."
He moved on to the beautiful blonde sitting next to Cristina. He didn't know what to say; how do you greet your ex-wife who you still have feelings for? Fortunately, he didn't have to answer; she was the first one to speak. She kept his stare for a small amount of time before regaining composure. She looked up at him, and smiled. "Hi Alex."
It seemed as if, at that moment, any connection he had to getting over her was ripped to shreds. He felt like he was 16 years old again, pining over a girl who didn't even know he was alive. She was the prettiest girl in school, and he was the loser kid who grew up in a messed up family. "Hey Iz" he said as he took his seat.
They all started talking about different things; who had been caught in the on-call rooms with who, what it was like for Derek to be Chief, and how they all couldn't believe that in a year, they'd all be attendings. Cristina gushed over how brilliant Dr. Altman was, excluding the part about how she was in love with Owen. No one was surprised when she quickly left after being paged to the ER for a cardio patient.
After a few more drinks, Derek talked about how much paperwork he had to do, and how he figured he'd start heading home. Meredith agreed that it was late, when it was only 11:30 P.M.
Alex noticed that everyone leaving meant him and Izzie would be the last people sitting at the table. "I thought you said you were done scheming" Alex said quietly, as Meredith got up.
"I changed my mind" she replied with a small smirk. "Key's in the mailbox." She put her coat on, and said goodbye to both of them.
Silence took over, and built a wall in between the two of them. He certainly began to regret driving out there that night; he should have known. She started to make small talk with him; asking about his job, and what it was like to live so far away. He told her truth; he told her that Long View General Hospital wasn't anything like Seattle Grace, and nobody could confide in each other. People stole your surgeries from right under you if you weren't careful, and you'd find yourself getting warnings that you weren't spending enough time in the OR. The chief of surgery over there could barely keep himself together, and his hospital was always his second priority. He told her how he hadn't found himself one person he could say that he honestly trusted.
"So…if you really hate it there so much, why don't you come home?" she asked him.
"I couldn't do it" he shook his head. "I couldn't come back after everything had happened. I felt like I wasn't the same person anymore. Like I couldn't be the same doctor anymore. I didn't have authority; I was just as weak and vulnerable as the patient I was going to treat. And I knew that if I didn't feel as if I could help someone on a different level than they were on, then I couldn't practice medicine."
She nodded. "I know the feeling" she replied, quietly.
It was at that moment that he understood how she felt when she got fired from the hospital. He'd gotten mad at her for leaving after he'd opened up to her so much, but he never really took it from her perspective. After he'd gotten shot, he was always on his toes; not just because he was scared that he'd fall behind his peers, but also because of what had happened. It interfered with his job, and he couldn't be a doctor in that hospital if he was always worrying. When Izzie had gotten cancer, she'd heard that they were making staff cuts, so she had forced herself to come back to the hospital even if she wasn't ready. She stood in surgery for hours, because she was scared to lose her job, and more importantly, she was scared to lose the feeling of authority that came with becoming a doctor. And then she got fired for a mistake that anyone could have made; how could she stay in Seattle knowing that everything she'd been working towards for the past six years had been gone? He hadn't understood it when she left, and he'd been so angry that he couldn't see the reasoning behind her actions. But he realized that the reason she left Seattle and the reason he did was very similar.
He realized he needed to tell her how he felt. "Do you want to take a walk?" he asked.
People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl.
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world.
Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved.
Maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news.
And you'll come running to the corner, cause you'll know it's just for you.
She agreed, and he left some money on the table for the drinks. He walked with her towards the hospital across the street. Even after a year, he still knew the hospital perfectly, and he appreciated the fact that nothing had seemed to change about it.
He walked with her towards the end of a hallway, which was near the main lobby. They stopped, and he turned to her. "Close your eyes."
"What? Why? Where are we going?" she asked.
"Just trust me. Close your eyes."
She listened to him, and shut her eyes. He took her hand, and walked across the lobby before he finally reached his destination; the hospital auditorium. "Alex! Where are we going?" she said, with a small giggle after they entered the room.
Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street.
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,I'm not moving, I'm not moving.
He flipped on a switch, which illuminated the entire room. Of course, it looked completely different now than it had seven years before. The entire room had been renovated some time ago, and it was set up completely differently. It must have been arranged for some conference, or event, not a party. He walked her over to a spot near the back of the room, and turned to face her.
"We were standing right here the first time we met" he explained. "The night of the mixer. We were interns, and we didn't know each other that well. I thought you looked gorgeous, so I was cocky, and you thought I was a jerk. I told you I didn't think you'd make it as a surgeon. And I was stupid and I posted your pictures in the locker room and slept with Olivia. And I yelled at you for trying to look out for me when it came to Ava. And then we started over. And we were happy, Izzie, we were so happy. Everything was working out. But then you got cancer. And we got married, and then you got fired." He took a deep breath before speaking again. "And you left me, with a note. And I went crazy trying to find you, and when I did, I told you not to come back."
"I don't get it – why are you telling me all this?" she asked.
"Because right now, you're standing in front of me. Even after I told you not to come back, you're here. And I think that might mean something."
She looked pretty speechless, which he was expecting. "Alex…we haven't spoken in a year and half, since we signed away our divorce papers. I…I think all these feelings just came rushing back. Do you realize what you're asking?"
He took a step closer to her. "I'm not asking, Izzie, I'm telling you. I'm telling you that in a year and half, I've been dying to pick up a phone and talk to you. I'm telling you that you're the only girl who's ever made me feel like this. I'm telling you that every time I see you, I get a little bit happier. And I'm telling you that coming here tonight wasn't easy, because I think I still might be in love with you."
She looked at him with reluctance, but he saw that part of what he said was really getting to her.
"I really have missed you. I know you might not believe it, but leaving you, with just a note, was hard. But I knew it would be harder if I had to say goodbye to you in person. I wouldn't be able to do it, you know that" she told him. "And the last time I saw you, you said that you loved me so much that you almost hated me. So what makes it any different, now that we're living farther away from each other?"
He placed a hand on the side of her face. "Because now I know what it's like to lose you, and I don't want to do it anymore. I don't think I can live without you, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life figuring out if I can."
She looked up at him, and then smiled. "We always find a way back to each other."
He smiled as well, and nodded slightly. "We always do."