Author's Note: Sorry, I have very short chapters as I have only just started writing this fic. Please give reviews, it would be much appreciated!
Each soul is constructed in a certain way. An angel's grace is built in a similar manner, only a great deal more complicated. However, the base is the same – the inner working of any human or angel's soul or grace represents their true being, and if one were strip them down to the core, they would find that they were exactly alike.
One of the things that they have in common is this:
Each soul or grace is made with a perfect partner, meant to fit together in every possible way, and once they meet, they're near impossible to separate – in fact, a special place is reserved for each pair in heaven. Some never find their "soul mate." One could live their entire life and never meet their partner. If someone is lucky enough to find their partner, sometimes they realize it only in their heart, refusing to accept it with their mind. And sometimes, sometimes, a strange thing occurs – one partner has grace while the other has a soul. These pairings are legendary, told to be the strongest and most profound of bonds. The reason that angel and human pairings are forbidden is because, if they are not soul mates, the child will be corrupted in some way or another. However, if they are soul mates, they are very near holy, and although it isn't a well known fact, this is the only way that angel and human can be together and it is not forbidden.
This isn't a story about love. It's a story about two people finding each other when it seems impossible.
Profound bond, he had called it. He didn't quite realize the extent of that bond when he had said it, but now he's wondering if there's something a bit deeper than a bond of friendship between himself and Dean. He had known it for a while, but now Castiel thinks that perhaps it's further even than love. What it is, exactly, he has yet to discover, but he can't help but think that it can't be a bad thing.
When Cas's grace was taken, he had been awarded with a brand new soul. It was imbued with the exact same core as his grace, and somehow, this, he knew for a fact, because he did not feel empty nor very different, exempting the fact that he was human and now had emotions stronger than he ever thought was possible. These feelings were unpredictable and annoying at times. He never thought that a man taking too long in front of him at the supermarket would ever cause him such anger, or that his mistake in Nora's true intentions would ever cause him so much hurt.
He never thought that he would feel such doubt at leaving Dean in the car, or such mixed emotions at the thought of going inside the house. A part of him had wished that Dean had come with him, though he wasn't quite sure why that thought had popped into his mind.
Now, Cas is on the floor wondering what the hell happened. The angel is gone, and Dean is hovering over him, pulling him to his feet, a strange, caring, relieved light in his eyes. Cas winces as his hurt hand is jostled, and once they've gotten the house back in order, Dean shows Cas what to give to the baby (it just needed some acetaminophen) and then they wait for Nora.
There is a sort of companionable silence as they sit together on the sofa, simply watching over the finally sleeping infant. Cas feels something within him stir as he gazes at the caring warmth in Dean's eyes. He can almost feel Dean's hidden need for a more simplistic life, with a normal home and a child and job that actually pays and doesn't require fake ID's. Cas wishes that he could help in this endeavor, but Dean is at least mostly content with his current lifestyle and the world would probably collapse without the Winchesters, so he says and does nothing. Besides, there isn't much Cas can do as a human, besides be there for Dean.
"Dean."
"Yeah?" Dean's eyes flicker over to meet Cas's and he shifts his attention fully.
"Nora will be here soon. What should we tell her?" What Cas really wanted to ask, was 'Can I please stay with you?' and 'are you really alright' and 'what can I do to help,' but he doesn't.
"You panicked and called me asking for help. It'll be fine." Dean gives him a smile that is so happy that says a bit more than just "it'll be fine."
"Okay." There is more silence until five minutes later, when a key turns the doorknob and Nora arrives home. It all goes smoothly and as they're driving, Dean turns to Cas again.
"Hey Cas, buddy, where to?"
"Oh. I, um… I had a sleeping bag and, uh, toothpaste, at the Gas N' Slip." Cas looks at his hands, fiddling nervously with his bottom shirt button.
"Dude!" Dean pulls the Impala over, staring at Cas incredulously. "You can't just sleep in the store! You have to live somewhere! Come on, we're finding you a motel!"
Before he can protest, the other man starts up again. "No, Cas! Here this should do for the week, and I can get you an ID by then." Dean shoves a thick wad of fifty-dollar bills in Castiel's face and the former angel is forced to accept them.
"I really do not need it, but I appreciate your help, Dean. Thank you."
"And, uh," Dean says, clearing his throat excessively, "I hope you don't mind if I share the bed for a night? I've got to get my four hours, eh?"
"Yes, of course, you're more than welcome." The pause extends for a second too long, and then Dean starts the car again. They arrive at a slightly nicer-than-average motel in a few more minutes, and then they rent out a room with a king sized bed.
Once Dean has set down his duffel bag and pulled on a shirt for sleeping, Cas remains in his clothes, unsure what to do.
"Cas, buddy, aren't you tired?" Dean looks slightly concerned.
"I… I don't have anything to sleep in."
"Have you been wearing the same clothes?"
"Well, I have another shirt and pair of pants, but those are for work." Cas avoids eye contact, but he can clearly see Dean's exasperation and sympathy, an odd combination.
"Cas, you need to take care of yourself a bit better. Make good use of the money I gave you, okay? Oh, and here." Dean walks over to Cas and hands him a gray shirt and dark red sweatpants. Before he can take his hand away, Castiel pulls the taller man towards him and kisses him tentatively. It was so unexpected that Dean doesn't seem to know what to do, but after a moment, he kisses back, setting the clothes on the bed and placing a tentative hand on Cas's waist.
Dean pulls away, his eyes soft and green, and murmurs, "What was that for?"
Cas laughs faintly. "I don't know. A thank you."
"Yeah, I don't know either, but I can't say I didn't like it." With that, Dean presses their lips back together and chuckles as Cas nearly falls over despite the tiny amount of pressure he'd pushed onto him. Castiel looks at him and starts to apologize, but it ends in a yawn.
"We've got to get you to bed. Come on, just change, okay?" Dean's fingers linger on his skin just a bit longer than necessary and then turns away to brush his teeth in the bathroom, careful to close the door in order to let Cas change in the bedroom privately.
Cas changes as quickly as he can, eager to sleep in a real bed for the first time since he left the bunker. He switches off all but Dean's bedside lamp (he's decided that Dean should get the side closest to the window for some reason.) and then clambers under the covers. Dean emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later.
"Hey," Dean murmurs.
"Hello, Dean." Cas can't keep the smile from reaching his voice as he faces Dean in the bed. He leans forward for a kiss, and Dean gives it to him, but instead of on the lips like he expected, he gets one on his nose.
"Buddy, we're just starting out, whatever this is. You should sleep, anyway; who knows how little sleep you've been getting!"
"You get less on a normal basis," Cas points out somewhat mournfully.
"Yeah, well, I'm used to it. You're newly human, you need it!"
"So do you!"
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just sleep, okay?" Dean laughs softly and turns over. He's asleep in minutes. Cas follows within seconds, comforted by the rise and fall of Dean's breaths as he lies with his back facing the former angel.
~Dean's POV~
Dean wakes up feeling oddly good. He doesn't feel as exhausted or worn down as usual, and strangely, he's warm. Too warm, almost. He stiffens as he realizes that there's someone else in the bed. There's an arm draped around his waist and a hand pressed to his back, breath brushing against his neck and a nose buried in his hair. He relaxes as he realizes that it's Cas.
He doesn't move as he sees that Cas is still sleeping, snoring slightly. Dean smiles, remembering the night before. He isn't sure why, but it wasn't all that strange to him. If Dean has kissed Castiel a few years ago (had it really been that long since Cas raised him from hell?), he would have immediately had a "gay crisis" and freaked out. Now, however, he's beginning to realize that it isn't such a bad thing. After, Cas is one of the few guys he's ever been attracted to – although "attracted to" is a major understatement here.
For another ten minutes or so, despite the fact that it's almost 6AM and Cas needs to get to work, Dean closes his eyes again and simply basks in the warmth of his embrace.
Cas wakes up at around 6:05 with a full body stretch, and he nuzzles against Dean's neck for a moment before getting up and pulling on his uniform. Dean pulls himself up a moment later and follows Castiel out the door after dressing and picking up his duffel bag. They don't really talk much on the car ride, but instead, Dean just rests his hand on Castiel's for the whole time, rubbing circles on the skin between his thumb and forefinger. Dean wishes that Cas could come back more than anything, but Ezekiel had been very insistent. Not that Dean trusts him more than he does Cas or his brother, but it seemed to be Sam's only chance.
He sends Cas an ID in the morning.