Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, or their clothes, or the stores, or the books, or anything except for the insanity that the characters are about to suffer through…

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Uzumaki Naruto muttered under his breath as he punched a tree, shattering it and causing it to fall on him. Hyuuga Hinata was standing on the other side of the tree, but quickly ran off while Naruto tried to crawl out from under the tree. She couldn't let Naruto know she was watching him.

Naruto struggled under the gigantic tree, losing his oxygen as he tried to push the "stupid log" as he had decided to call it. For some reason he decided that insulting the tree would somehow help him. Naruto, still lying flat under the tree, had began pounding on the tree and trying to bite at it between curse words, to no avail. Hinata giggled from behind another tree and tiptoed over to the bottom of the trunk that held her love down. Naruto, meanwhile, was squirming as he was beginning to lose the last bits of oxygen he had.

"Baka-kun," Hinata whispered under her breath as she placed an exploding seal on the bottom of the tree. She quickly ran off and (A/N at this point I've decided it's gonna be a comedy, not a romantic comedy. Joy.) 3...2...1...BOOM! The tree flew at least 500 feet into the air before disintegrating into ash. Likewise, Naruto's orange jumpsuit had begun to burn up.

Naruto stood up and began to run around like a madman as his clothes disintegrated, only to end up running into another tree and setting it on fire as well. Hinata caught herself drooling as she stared at her love, revealing more and more of his body, unwillingly, every second.

Meanwhile...

Uchiha Sasuke was sitting in the Ichiraku Ramen shop, taking a sample of their newest ramen. "Oh damn I can see why Naruto likes this stuff so much."

"So you gonna pay for that, kid?"

"Put it on Uzumaki Naruto's tab."

"Uzumaki Naruto hasn't paid his tab in five years."

"Well the put it on Hatake Kakashi's tab."

"Or, how 'bout you pay me now? Seriously, what is it with you deadbeat ninjas?"

"Um, I could just kill you, then I wouldn't have to worry about paying you."

"Right, Hatake Kakashi's tab it is then. Actually the meal is free!"

"Damn straight." Sasuke smirked; he had always popped his collar, why not start acting ghetto too?

As the Uchiha stepped outside he saw the billowing clouds of black smoke that Uzumaki Naruto had caused. A small twitch, "f...," and another, "fi...," and another, "FIRE!"

Sasuke quickly ran off into the forest, focusing his chakra into his mouth. "FWEE!"

Meanwhile...again...

Kakashi was off sitting in a tree reading his favorite romance book; somehow porn in words works for him. While he was distracted (A/N Get your minds outta the gutters readers hides copy of Icha Icha Paradise) a small fire was evolving into a grand conflagration. Kakashi flipped another page as the tree burst into flames. Kakashi was so focused on his book; he fell straight down into the flames, only to lose his book to the fire. "...Paradise...Lost..." Kakashi's eyes burned dark red, this was his favorite copy, and he was going to kill whoever had disturbed his passionate reading time.

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Okay so, first chapter is done with. Not too good but it's just to set up the story. The hilarity will definitely be upped in the next chapter.