Pain.
Brutality.
Death.
Terezi Pyrope could remember it all. There wasn't a single reason why she was able to, after all, none of her friends did. They seemed to have no recollection of the past events that burned behind Terezi's sightless red eyes. The memories that she had, of their three year meteor journey, had not happened yet. And they would not happen.
Death.
Her friends' deaths. They happened in this timeline and the one she recalled in her mind. It looked as though that was inevitable, no matter how much she and John changed events, at least the previous 'her'. Some were preventable, like her Scourge Sister. The very troll she was relieved to see. The very troll she cried for. When the memories came flooding back to her, she couldn't help but weep into the spider's shoulder. No one but Terezi would ever know the regret she felt for killing her, the agony and guilt that plagued her heart. It stained her teal soul with a web of darkness. The two had their fights. And Vriska did wrong, oh she did so much wrong in her time. But Terezi wasn't the judge nor the jury, as much as considered herself to be, and she regretted the death of the Serket so much. With the rewritten timeline, Terezi had a second chance at their friendship, and she would make sure to do it right this time.
Brutality.
Her kismesissitude was full of fists and kicks. If she wasn't being forced to drink Faygo, she was being choked, or doing the choking. It was unhealthy, she knew. When your hate boyfriend grins because your fingers are cutting off his air supply, leaving purple indents in his throat, well.. You would realize, just like she did, that it was time to get out. But it was nearly impossible to do so. The clown would provoke her, prick her mind with the sharpness of his words. She would prepare a speech, like a legislacerator giving her case on why she was leaving. And he would always lead her back to his disgusting criminal trap with damaging kisses that left poison on her tongue and ice in her heart. He never gave her the chance to break it off. Stealing her cane, pull her hair, he did whatever it took to keep her wrapped around his heavy club. Sometimes, it wasn't so bad. They would be doing something simple and mundane, like laying in the vents, having a talk. But he would ruin the moment. Every time.
Pain.
He caused her pain.
Physical.
An uncapped Faygo bottle would be shoved past her lips and he'd hold her down so she'd be forced to drink it.
Emotional.
She wasn't good enough for Karkles. He didn't love her. She betrayed him with her relationship with Gamzee. She was a traitor to the Cool Kid. She was a pathetic example for justice.
The Highblood whispered these lies to her, and she believed him each time, drawing further and further away from the guys who cared about her and into the arms of the one who was hurting her.
Mental.
Her eyesight was stupid. Terezi was stupid. She was an idiot. Her blindness made her a poor excuse for a legislacerator, how could she fight for someone she couldn't see?
Gamzee had a way of getting to her. It resulted in her going to Aranea and making the biggest mistake of her life.
These memories.. These horrible memories of a time that no longer existed, were stuck with her now. And she hated him. She wanted him. She wanted a healthy blackrom, one where she wasn't tormented every second, one she didn't have to hide or be ashamed of.
But she couldn't take the risk.
The murderer pinned her to the wall, caging her in with a palm flat by either side of her head as he towered over her, smirking. He had that look. The look she recognized from her memories. The one he gave when he wanted to start something caliginous.
Her heart pounded inside her chest, and she wanted to reciprocate his feelings. Bite his lip, flirt in the hateful way they used to have.
But he didn't remember like she did. He didn't know the awful things she'd endured from him. There was no guarantee he wouldn't do it again. And she just wouldn't put herself through that torture again, the self loathing, the tears, the withdrawal from her friends. As much as she still hated Gamzee, and longed for him, she had to protect the both of them from their destructive relationship.
So she pushed him back, forcing him to fall flat on his back after tripping over Vriska, and went back to her spider sister. Her heart ached with the black feelings she had for the clown.
But this was best for everyone.