A/N: This is dedicated to my good friend, Claire. One of her favorite couples are James and Lily [mine too!], and it was her birthday a little while ago!
Happy [extremely late] Birthday, Claire!
xD
Here ya go. xD
Disclaimer: My name is Rachel. Not J.K. Rowling.
Duh.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
.:James:.
My hands shake as I run one of them through my thick, jet-black hair, ruffling it. I watch Lily as her tongue pokes out of the side of her mouth and eyebrows scrunch in concentration as her quill moves meticulously across the parchment in front of her. Not that I'm a stalker or anything, but I notice things about her. Like how if she's nervous, she wrings her hands together.
Or how she absentmindedly chews on her fingernails when she stares off to space.
Or how she's always singing or humming to herself whenever she's not in class.
Or how her smile is so wide it can light up all of England when she conquers an impossible Transfiguration spell.
Or how she's as graceful as a doe at times, but at others, she's about as graceful as a drunken Hagrid riding a Hippogriff with a sledgehammer in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.
Yeah, don't ask me how I come up with these things.
But my favorite thing about her, easily, is how she flushes so easily.
I would say blushes, but the correct term is flushes.
Because I don't think people blush when they get mad.
I know, I know. It's not right of me to make her mad just to see her flush. She's just so beautiful that I can't help it.
Padfoot has been rambling on about something that happened today in Transfiguration to a few fifth year girls that I have chose to tune out, but I start to listen to him.
"-and finally McGonagall blows her casket, and-"
And that's it. I've heard this story about a thousand times.
No. Scratch that.
A million times.
So now back to my Lily staring.
We had gotten slightly closer this past year, us being Heads together and all. I'd like to actually think that we're friends-no-best friends. Well, as best of friends Lily and I could get. As in, we talk to each other about our problems, joke around with each other, flirt with each other, and are each other's shoulder to cry on when the other's heart-broken.
I decide to go over to talk to her. About what, I have no clue. But I know I want to talk to her.
Talk to my best friend.
I just wish that we were a little more than best friends.
See, that's the thing. I wantto be more than friends, I just don't know if she does. And I certainly don't want to be rejected if she doesn't. That would break my heart even further, and this time, I don't know if a Repairo charm would fix it.
.:Lily:.
I can feel his penetrating gaze on me as I finish up my Potions Essay. I'm used to this, of course. He's been staring at me ever since First Year, for Heaven's sake! But now, it feels… different.
I mean, it doesn't feel different. It is different.
Because I kind of like it.
I kind of like the way he always stares at me.
And I kind of like the way that he claims he's in love with me.
And I kind of like the way he's so protective of me.
And I kind of like the way he ruffles his jet-black hair, giving it a bed head look.
And I kind of like the way he taps when he's nervous.
And I kind of like the way I get tingles when he hugs me.
And I kind of like the way his arrogance has toned down a little, but is still somewhat there.
And I kind of like the way he calls me "love".
And I kind of like the way he's sort of my best friend.
And I kind of like James Potter.
I know, I know. Lily! How could you do that? Well, the truth is, I don't know. It just happened. I remember it like it was yesterday….
I was walking around the school after the Slytherin/Gryffindor game, making sure nobody was pulling any shenanigans. Then I heard his voice. It's not that I didn't like him. Heck, we were even friends. It's just… I don't even know.
He chuckled. "No, no, no. Swish and flick."
Rage encased me. He was pulling pranks on the Slytherins-after Gryffindor won, may I add-and he had to teach Peter how to do the correct wand work? We were in Seventh year! Merlin's Beard!
I hear a frustrated groan. "It won't work!"
That didn't sound like any of the Maruauders...
It kind of sounded like Chase Creevey, that First year in Gryffindor who's older brother was in the year below James and I. I gracefully slithered around the corner and sneaked a peek into the abandoned Transfiguration classroom. What I saw made my heart melt.
James Potter was teaching a First year how to do Transfiguration.
When he could have been partying in the Gryffindor Common Room, when he could've been hoisted onto people's shoulders cheering how great he was, when he could've been getting drunk out of his mind, he wasn't.
He was tutoring a First year because he needed help with Transfiguration.
I thought back to the Quidditch game, and realized that right after James caught the Snitch he raced off the field unnoticed.
I tuned back into their conversation. "Come on, Chase. You can do this. I know you can. Here, I'll help you," I remember James saying.
"N-n-no I can't! I can't do it, James! I'm not going to get this, and I'm going to fail all of my exams…"
And then he did the most perfect thing a guy could do.
He gathered Chase up in a hug, whispering reassuring things in his ear.
"Come on. Let's try this again."
And then he did the second most perfect thing a guy could do.
He got on his knees behind Chase, grabbed his hand with the wand, and helped Chase do the correct motion. The toothpick turned into a safety-pin.
"J-J-James! I did it! I did it, James!"
"Yes you did, Chase. I'm proud of you."
And while Chase was thanking and hugging James, I left.
"-ly, are you even listening?" asks my best friend, Marlene.
"Oh. Yeah..." I say distractedly.
"Okay, well anyway, I was talking to Sirius about us, and he sai-" she starts to say, but I zone out again.
I've heard this story a thousand times.
No. Scratch that.
A million times.
Back to James thinking.
We had gotten closer this year. A lot closer, actually. I would even dare to say we're kind of… best friends now. Well, he's my best guy friend, and I'd like to think I was his best girl friend. I mean… girl that's a friend. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to be his best girlfriend, no space in between, but I mean I wouldn't be opposed to not being his girlfriend, like… I wouldn't mind having the space between those two words…
Oi. Who am I kidding?
I really like James Potter.
But that's just the thing. I don't know if James Potter really likes me. Yes, he still stares at me. And yes, we flirt all the time. But I don't know if that's a "really-good-friends" thing… or an "I like you" thing.
And the staring… It might be that he still likes-or loves-me, but it might just him going into big-brother-protection mode. I have no clue. But what I do have a clue about is that I certainly hope it's not the latter.
See, I don't want to ask him out, because what if I get rejected? What would I do? I'd be completely and utterly heartbroken. Maybe I could talk to him about it…
And then I hear his voice, and my mind turns to jelly.
"Hey, Lily."
.:James:.
"Hey, Lily."
She looks up at me with a blush and immediately looks down.
"Hey, Jay," she mutters quietly.
I inadvertently smile at her nickname for me. She's the only one who can call me that.
"Listen-" we both start.
"You go first," we say again.
We laugh.
"James, seriously. You can go first," she tells me. I sit down.
"Alright, Lils. Please don't interrupt me. You have no idea how hard it is for me to say this," I manage to get out.
"Okay, well, we're pretty close, yeah?" She nods. I ruffle my hair nervously. "Well… I want to be… closer."
I take a deep breath.
"Listen, Lil. I know it's crazy for me to think that I even have a miniscule chance to be with you, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I still really like you Lily, and I always will. I know it's crazy, but will you go with me on the next Hogsmeade visit?" I ask her, all in a rush.
She sits there, stunned and not talking. I take that as a no.
"Oh, well. Um… Okay… I'm just going to go over there before I ruin this friendship even more than I just did…" I trail off, hurt and embarrassed. My back gets turned to Lily as I start to walk off, muttering to myself.
"Wait! Jay!" she calls to me. I turn around.
"I get it, Lil. You don't feel the same way about me. Don't-" I start, but get cut off.
"No! No! I… I like you," Lily finishes in a mumble.
I look at her in shock. "You, Lily Evans,… like… me, James Potter?
She nods meekly.
I walk up to her and squat in front of her chair. She looks me in the eye, and my breathing hitches. They're so green. It's officially my favorite color.
My hand reaches up on its own accord and brushes a piece of hair behind her hair that fell out of her messy bun that lies on the top of her head in a mop of glorious red. I reach down and grab her hands.
"I like you, too, Lil. Now, I have a question for you," I tell her.
"You do?" she questions, a small smile on her face.
"Yep," I say matter-of-factly.
"And what would that be?" She squeezes my hands.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" I ask her, hope shining in my eyes.
"Hmm… I'll have to think about that…" I freeze. She winks at me. I relax.
"Of course, James," she replies honestly.
I gather her up in a hug, kissing her head softly.
"Thank you, Lil. Thank you."
.:Lily:.
"Hey, Lily."
I look up at his masculine face, immediately blushing. My face quickly diverts downward.
"Hey, Jay," I whisper, embarrassed by my actions.
I fleetingly wonder why I'm the only one who calls him that.
"Listen-" I say, along with him.
"You go first," we chorus again.
James laughs with me.
"James, seriously. You can go first," I tell him, curious.
"Alright, Lils. Please don't interrupt me. You have no idea how hard it is for me to say this," he says, sounding nervous. I look at him in shock and curiosity.
What's he going to say?
"Okay, well, we're pretty close, yeah?" I nod. Yes, we are. We're very close if I do say so myself. He ruffles his hair, a nervous habit I know he has. I smile, liking the affect it has on his hair. "Well… I want to be… closer."
My breathing stops.
My heart stops.
My hands stop wringing together.
Does he mean…?
"Listen, Lil. I know it's crazy for me to think that I even have a miniscule chance to be with you," James. You have no idea the chance you have of being with me… "But that doesn't stop me from trying. I still really like you Lily, and I always will."
I gape at him. Is he joking? Because if he is, this is a really cruel joke. He still likes me? After I was a total git to him for seven years? Seven years?
He continues on, "I know it's crazy, but will you go with me on the next Hogsmeade visit?"
I stare at him in shock. Is he serious? If he is, I'm the giddiest girl on the planet right now. But if not…
He takes my silence the wrong way, his face contorting into hurt and rejection. "Oh, well. Um… Okay… I'm just going to go over there before I ruin this friendship even more than I just did…" James seems embarrassed.
"Wait! Jay!" I holler at him after he turns to walk away. James stops and turns around.
"I get it, Lil. You don't feel the same way about me. Don't-" he starts stupidly. I cut him off abruptly.
"No! No! I… I like you," I state, finishing barely louder than a mumble.
He looks at me like I belong in the loony bin. "You, Lily Evans,… like… me, James Potter?" he asks me.
I smirk somewhat and nod shyly.
He swiftly jaunts up to my chair and squats in front of it. I look him in the eye, and I get dizzy. His hazel eyes are so gorgeous… It could easily be him favorite color.
His hand reaches up to brush back a piece of hair that fell from my messy bun. It softly traces down my cheek bone and ends up lying in my hands. They're rough from handling a broom, but still soft. It baffles me.
"I like you, too, Lil," my breathing quickens at his confession. "Now, I have a question for you,"
"You do?" I tease, playing with his fingers.
"Yep," he states seriously, gazing into my eyes.
"And what would that be?" He hesitates. I give his hand a squeeze, encouraging him.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asks me, hopefully. My mind whirs with giddiness.
"Hmm… I'll have to think about that…" I tease once again. I feel his hands tense under mine, so I throw him a wink.
"Of course, James," I reply.
He hugs me, and I press my face into his chest. It smells so good. Like the woods, and trees, and just something purely James that I never want to leave this position.
Ever.
In my life.
I feel his lips touch the top of my head as soft as a feather touching the ground.
"Thank you, Lil. Thank you," I hear him mutter before my mind wanders off into blissful oblivion.
