Episode 106 a/b: Romancing the Tim
Written by Dither
Scene 1
Fade In
Opening Credits Roll
Title: Romancing the Tim
Camera follows a small Voot as it flies to the Massive and docks. Camera pans up the side of the Massive, until it reaches a window. Camera pushes in through the window, and we see Purple and Red
Red: I can't believe he called us for that.
Purple: This is horrible.
Red: When we sent him to Earth, he was supposed to die. He didn't. When we sent him the malfunctioning SIRS, he was supposed to die. He didn't.
Purple: Poor, poor Invader Tenn ...
Red: We sent him to Hobo 13. He was supposed to DIE!
Purple: He got everyone ELSE killed!
Red: We haven't had anyone with such a willingness to ... not ... die. EVER.
Purple: Well, there was that one ...
Red: No, she wasn't as bad.
Purple: Well, there was that other ...
Red: No, he got eaten eventually.
Purple: purses lips and thinks hard Y'know, ... you're RIGHT! Zim IS the worst.
Red: We can't banish him. We can't kill him. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!
Purple: TRY HARDER!
Red: Actually, ... that's not a bad thought. Zim IS a danger so long as he's alive ...
Purple picks up a bag of chips and starts munching
Red: We haven't been taking this matter seriously enough. We need Zim GONE!
Purple: mouth full Mmm-yeah! chokes Hah hack yeah.
Red: The question is, who're we going to get to do it.
Purple: Mmmr, good question. MMMmmm. munch Mmmmmm.
Red: subconsciously grabs some chips out of Purple's bag and munches Who ...
Purple: Hey! Get yer MMMmmm munch own!
Red looks at Purple, then grabs the chips and munches
Purple: Hey! Gimme those back!
Red pulls another bag out of a recess of his uniform and tosses them to Purple
Purple: catches bag and opens Well, these better be just as good ... munch munch Okay, you got lucky ...
Red and Purple stand and stare in silence for several moments, only the sounds of their chewing can be heard
Red: startling Purple I've GOT it! That a ... Tim fellow!
Purple: AH! The one that tried to kill us?
Red: Yeah ... him.
Pause
Purple: ... what about him?
Red: smacks Purple We can hire him to kill Zim!
Purple thinks about this, chewing slowly
Purple: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhh ... okay! How much could one little assassination be?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transmission between Tallest and Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim
Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim: I'll do it.
Purple: Really? That's fantas-
Red shoves him out of the way
Red: How much is this going to cost the empire, exactly?
FJST: I ask for nothing more than the honor of destroying the Irken who slaughtered my master.
Red: Oh, I see, excellent. Well, he's on earth, you can, uh, go and, er, ... get him now.
FJST: As it is commanded, so shall-
Transmission appears fuzzy, as another cuts in. The Irken appears fuzzy, but after several moments, Tak appears
Tak: Through static My -zzzergt- lest! You gave Zim -bbbbbbbbzrrt- me to destroy!
Purple (OS): You took too long Tak. Zim is irritating NOW.
Red: Yeah, you had your chance. Now, we're trying someone else.
Tak: Static But -bzzzzrp- ission. You GAVE m -zzzzzrrrrb- is mission!
Red: You can have earth for whatever ... you were going to do ... before.
Tak: Static But -zzzzzrt- venge! What abou -zzzzzzrrrbbb- ainst Zim?
Red: We don't -
FJST: Tallests, if I may.
Purple (OS): Whadda'you want? You get to kill Zim!
FJST: Yes, but I have fought Zim before. He is very strong. If this, ... Tak has qualms with Zim as well, I propose we seek him together.
Red and Purple consider this
Purple (OS): I don't li-
Red socks Purple OS
Red: Agreed. Tim? You'll have to swing by the Ginormous and pick up Tak. She's there working off the Reclaiming fee.
FJST: Understood, Tallest Red. Tim, out.
Tak: Static Who WAS th -zzzzzzrt- ? I didn't -
Red: Either you work with Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim, or you don't get a shot at Zim at all.
Tak: Static My -zzzzzaaaaart- !
Red: Transmission, ended.
Transmission cuts from Tak's view. She stands at a console in the back of a smoke-filled room
Tak: Curse them! They gave Zim to ME! MEEE! He ruined MY life!
Tak turns around and shuffles towards the bar where she's been working, trying to pay off her Reclaiming fee
Camera pans around the room. Bizarre-looking aliens sit amongst Irkens in the dark setting. Strategically placed around the bar are several buckets of dry ice, and in one corner, a dilapidated-looking fog machine
The camera returns to Tak, who sits at the bar and waves to a very wide Irken, who isn't much taller than the counter
Tak: Jezo, a drink; anything with bubbles. And some dihydrogen oxide.
Jezo: grunting You look blue Tak, and that's not meant as a compliment.
Jezo slides a glass a water towards her
Jezo: You know that stuff'll kill you, right?
Tak: Mm-hmm. downs the glass of water Gah! How pure is this?
Jezo: You may be flying soon, it's only 20 percent.
Tak: Thanks Jezo, you're the best. Once I get rid of Zim and become a full Invader, I'll have to have you transferred to me.
Jezo: Hey! You're forgetting your place here! You work for me!
Tak: I'm leaving with some Filthy Tim to kill the Irken joke spitting the name Zim.
Jezo: Who says?
Tak: The Tallest.
Jezo pales
Jezo: Jeez! Okay! Sorry I asked. Okay, if the Tallest are sending you, you're free to go. But I'll want the rest of the Reclaiming fee for finding your sorry carcass floating dead in space.
Tak: It's bad enough I had to scrap Mimi for munnies, AND my pod. a pause How much do I still owe?
Jezo: Twelve thousand.
Tak cringed
Tak: Don't make me reconsider my comment before. C'mon, haven't I worked hard?
Jezo considers a moment
Jezo: Ten thousand. Nice round number. Now don't go out and die. I would be very disappointed.
Tak: smiling All right Jezo. See you around sometime.
Tak leaves the bar, and the camera pans by a sign reading "Indigo Rain"
Camera follows Tak down corridors to the docking bay, where she waits for Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim
Fade Out
End of Scene 1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A/N: I like Tak. I like Tim. And Tallest Red and Purple. They were all in this scene. I like. ^.^
Written by Dither
Scene 1
Fade In
Opening Credits Roll
Title: Romancing the Tim
Camera follows a small Voot as it flies to the Massive and docks. Camera pans up the side of the Massive, until it reaches a window. Camera pushes in through the window, and we see Purple and Red
Red: I can't believe he called us for that.
Purple: This is horrible.
Red: When we sent him to Earth, he was supposed to die. He didn't. When we sent him the malfunctioning SIRS, he was supposed to die. He didn't.
Purple: Poor, poor Invader Tenn ...
Red: We sent him to Hobo 13. He was supposed to DIE!
Purple: He got everyone ELSE killed!
Red: We haven't had anyone with such a willingness to ... not ... die. EVER.
Purple: Well, there was that one ...
Red: No, she wasn't as bad.
Purple: Well, there was that other ...
Red: No, he got eaten eventually.
Purple: purses lips and thinks hard Y'know, ... you're RIGHT! Zim IS the worst.
Red: We can't banish him. We can't kill him. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!
Purple: TRY HARDER!
Red: Actually, ... that's not a bad thought. Zim IS a danger so long as he's alive ...
Purple picks up a bag of chips and starts munching
Red: We haven't been taking this matter seriously enough. We need Zim GONE!
Purple: mouth full Mmm-yeah! chokes Hah hack yeah.
Red: The question is, who're we going to get to do it.
Purple: Mmmr, good question. MMMmmm. munch Mmmmmm.
Red: subconsciously grabs some chips out of Purple's bag and munches Who ...
Purple: Hey! Get yer MMMmmm munch own!
Red looks at Purple, then grabs the chips and munches
Purple: Hey! Gimme those back!
Red pulls another bag out of a recess of his uniform and tosses them to Purple
Purple: catches bag and opens Well, these better be just as good ... munch munch Okay, you got lucky ...
Red and Purple stand and stare in silence for several moments, only the sounds of their chewing can be heard
Red: startling Purple I've GOT it! That a ... Tim fellow!
Purple: AH! The one that tried to kill us?
Red: Yeah ... him.
Pause
Purple: ... what about him?
Red: smacks Purple We can hire him to kill Zim!
Purple thinks about this, chewing slowly
Purple: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhh ... okay! How much could one little assassination be?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Transmission between Tallest and Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim
Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim: I'll do it.
Purple: Really? That's fantas-
Red shoves him out of the way
Red: How much is this going to cost the empire, exactly?
FJST: I ask for nothing more than the honor of destroying the Irken who slaughtered my master.
Red: Oh, I see, excellent. Well, he's on earth, you can, uh, go and, er, ... get him now.
FJST: As it is commanded, so shall-
Transmission appears fuzzy, as another cuts in. The Irken appears fuzzy, but after several moments, Tak appears
Tak: Through static My -zzzergt- lest! You gave Zim -bbbbbbbbzrrt- me to destroy!
Purple (OS): You took too long Tak. Zim is irritating NOW.
Red: Yeah, you had your chance. Now, we're trying someone else.
Tak: Static But -bzzzzrp- ission. You GAVE m -zzzzzrrrrb- is mission!
Red: You can have earth for whatever ... you were going to do ... before.
Tak: Static But -zzzzzrt- venge! What abou -zzzzzzrrrbbb- ainst Zim?
Red: We don't -
FJST: Tallests, if I may.
Purple (OS): Whadda'you want? You get to kill Zim!
FJST: Yes, but I have fought Zim before. He is very strong. If this, ... Tak has qualms with Zim as well, I propose we seek him together.
Red and Purple consider this
Purple (OS): I don't li-
Red socks Purple OS
Red: Agreed. Tim? You'll have to swing by the Ginormous and pick up Tak. She's there working off the Reclaiming fee.
FJST: Understood, Tallest Red. Tim, out.
Tak: Static Who WAS th -zzzzzzrt- ? I didn't -
Red: Either you work with Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim, or you don't get a shot at Zim at all.
Tak: Static My -zzzzzaaaaart- !
Red: Transmission, ended.
Transmission cuts from Tak's view. She stands at a console in the back of a smoke-filled room
Tak: Curse them! They gave Zim to ME! MEEE! He ruined MY life!
Tak turns around and shuffles towards the bar where she's been working, trying to pay off her Reclaiming fee
Camera pans around the room. Bizarre-looking aliens sit amongst Irkens in the dark setting. Strategically placed around the bar are several buckets of dry ice, and in one corner, a dilapidated-looking fog machine
The camera returns to Tak, who sits at the bar and waves to a very wide Irken, who isn't much taller than the counter
Tak: Jezo, a drink; anything with bubbles. And some dihydrogen oxide.
Jezo: grunting You look blue Tak, and that's not meant as a compliment.
Jezo slides a glass a water towards her
Jezo: You know that stuff'll kill you, right?
Tak: Mm-hmm. downs the glass of water Gah! How pure is this?
Jezo: You may be flying soon, it's only 20 percent.
Tak: Thanks Jezo, you're the best. Once I get rid of Zim and become a full Invader, I'll have to have you transferred to me.
Jezo: Hey! You're forgetting your place here! You work for me!
Tak: I'm leaving with some Filthy Tim to kill the Irken joke spitting the name Zim.
Jezo: Who says?
Tak: The Tallest.
Jezo pales
Jezo: Jeez! Okay! Sorry I asked. Okay, if the Tallest are sending you, you're free to go. But I'll want the rest of the Reclaiming fee for finding your sorry carcass floating dead in space.
Tak: It's bad enough I had to scrap Mimi for munnies, AND my pod. a pause How much do I still owe?
Jezo: Twelve thousand.
Tak cringed
Tak: Don't make me reconsider my comment before. C'mon, haven't I worked hard?
Jezo considers a moment
Jezo: Ten thousand. Nice round number. Now don't go out and die. I would be very disappointed.
Tak: smiling All right Jezo. See you around sometime.
Tak leaves the bar, and the camera pans by a sign reading "Indigo Rain"
Camera follows Tak down corridors to the docking bay, where she waits for Filthy Juice-Sucker Tim
Fade Out
End of Scene 1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A/N: I like Tak. I like Tim. And Tallest Red and Purple. They were all in this scene. I like. ^.^