So I wanted to post something to let you guys on here know that I didn't die XD

I haven't had time to read much fanfiction lately =( or write, DX so I haven't been on too often.

Well, I decided a couple things recently.

One...His Eyes is not going to be finished on here unless in gets more reviews.

Two... I'm not gonna post any more of Mr. Todd Do You Believe in Ghosts? Until I am finished writing that one.

And Three...to keep myself writing, I'm posting these drabbles every once in a while.

These are called, "Lover Letters to my Unborn Child". They are based off a short inspirational story I read in "Stories for a teens heart"

This has nothing to do with any of my other fanfics, I just wanted to try something that I haven't really thought about...that you'll find out about later.

I will be updating this whenever I get the chance to write, edit it (kinda, I've told you before I can't edit well) and post it.

So yay!

Now that my note is longer then the drabble, enjoy!

December 18th

Today… I found out you are there.

It's surreal, really when you think about it.

I never figured it would happened. I had wished and even prayed…but I never figured it really would.

Here…I'm sorry…let's start over.

My love.

My little tiny, miraculous, baby, growing inside of me…strange to think about.

You are strange to think about. I can't feel you physically yet. But I feel you in my heart. You're warming it already. I can already picture you. You're so perfect, how else could you be?

Well...Let's see...

My name is Eleanor Lovett. But you won't know me as that, you'll know me as your mother, hopefully. (Course, I went through a time in my childhood when I wanted to call my mother by her first name, perhaps you will too!)

In seven short months, I'll be your mother...wow

I'm sorry…but I do have to tell you something, love. Might as well get it out there...

Your father…doesn't want you.

It's too soon for you to know, and I wish you could live happily oblivious for the rest of your days like you do right now. But I'm afraid that it'll only get harder and harder for you as time goes on…for the both of us, I suppose.

I don't want to tell him.

I'm sorry…but I don't want to tell him you're here…with me.

I don't know if I can stand in front of him, look him in the eyes, and tell him I'm with-child.

I can already hear his words. I can already feel them piecing right through me as he blames me and tries to make me think that all you are is a huge mistake. I already feel the tears running down my cheeks. I can already hear the constant nagging that kills me slowly inside…and will eventually kill you too.

I guess that's just what he wants. Will want? Already wants...if he knew...

So what can waiting a few months do?

Someday I'll tell him…

Someday when I'm stronger... Someday when we are both stronger.

Maybe by some miraculous way, he'll react in the way that Mr. Barker did.

Or…Benjamin. I suppose. If that's what he really wants me to call him. "Oh no, call me Benjamin" he says. Oh…it makes me blush like a child. Can you feel the butterflies that take flight in my stomach whenever he walks by?

You'll like him love…when you meet him. He'll probably act more like a father to you then your actual father.

Don't ever tell them about this, but I was there when Lucy told him about Johanna. Musta been about a year ago now.

And your father will not react in the same way.

He won't hang his mouth open in disbelief (well…ha…he might) but it won't be as a smile slowly curls on his lips. He won't have his breath taken away by the thought…by the thought of having a child. Not like Benjamin. He won't wrap his arms around me and crush me into a hug, and then quickly pull away with shame coating his features as he apologies for fear that he's hurt you!

And he won't cry in joy. He won't laugh. He won't start talking about where the cradle will go and if we should repaint the walls to make it cheerier (yellow and green…perhaps)
I'm sorry, love...but he won't…because he's Albert…he's your father.

So I'm not gonna tell him.

God knows if he'll even notice anything different about me as you grow.

My mum always said I should name my first born boy after my husband to show my love and devotion for him.

I'd rather die then have another Albert in the house.

review please! I'm feeling rather review deprived!