"I look in your eyes and I can see, we've loved so dangerously
You're not trusting your heart to anyone
You tell me you're gonna play it smart, we're through before we start
But I believe that we've only just begun
When it's this good, there's no saying no
I want you so, I'm ready to go
Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For a chance to be with you, I'd gladly risk it all
Through the fire, through whatever, come what may
For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way
Right down to the wire, even through the fire"
— "Through The Fire", sung by Chaka Khan, written by Gary Wright
We've entered into something dangerous. We both know that, and honestly, I don't know how it came about, or what driving force brought us together. It's something mysterious I can't figure out - something even my Hawk Eye cannot pin point. Though here we are, both scared - scared of the "what will be", the implications of this relationship, and the consequences that we will have to face together.
That is, if you want to.
I know you want to handle things on your own, and I regret that sometimes… I let you do as you wish even though I want to be the person to shoulder - even just a little - the weight you are carrying. You may not be the one to openly express it, but I know that you take it upon yourself if someone dear to you is having a hard time. You feel for them, even if just secretly. You hide, because I know that you perceive it as a weakness to show others your vulnerability.
Did you know, Shin-chan… that vulnerability of yours is my strength?
The moment I had my eyes on you, I instantly knew that I wanted to take care of you. In an instant, I knew you were keeping things to yourself, afraid that others will look at you differently if you chose to do otherwise. You act strong because you want others to have faith in you - faith that you are dependable. You don't want others to worry about you, and instead, you worry for everyone else - you just refuse show it. Rather, you don't want to express it because it might come across as pity. You simply do not want to hurt their feelings because of that and simply remain silent, even though your entire being is screaming of concern for others.
This time, Shin-chan, let me be the one to worry about you.
Let me be the one who knows you inside and out - the one who understands why you are doing what you are doing. I know this is a selfish request, but give me a chance - a chance to prove myself to you - an opportunity to prove that I'm not one of them - they who are oblivious to what you are going through. You need not even say a word, and I already know what you are thinking. You say the opposite of what you mean, but I know exactly what you are trying to say. There's no need for an explanation - I just… know.
But then, why won't you fight this battle with me?
Is there too much to risk? Is there too much at stake? Am I not worth the sacrifice? Is the relationship only a burden to you? There's so many questions, but no answers coming from you. I haven't even asked them, and yet I already know that you won't be able to answer most of them. Rather, you'd chose not to answer them… for my sake - for the sake of my sanity. You would rather chose to protect my vulnerability than your own. It's how you are - it's how you've always been, and I don't blame you. You just care about people… me - too much - and it's painful to see that you'd rather suffer alone than include me in the picture.
Just to let you know, Shin-chan… I'm still standing in the middle of the war zone - waiting for you - patiently.
Anytime, bullets and grenades may be sent flying toward me, but I'd still be standing here to defend our ground. It may be in ruins now, but I am still here defending it - defending what was left of it. The remains of what we had has become the meaning of what I was destined to do. Even if it will be the cause of my downfall, I'd rather risk everything than not doing everything in my power to protect our bond - our connection.
Shin-chan, I will never abandon what we have - right down to the wire, even through the fire.
[[ END. ]]