Curtain Opens.
A young woman with blonde hair steps onto the stage.
"Hello." She bows quickly. "I'm not part of the story. Nor am I really important. If you want to be honest, I'm only here because the author thinks it weird for authors to refer to themselves in their stories."
"Get to the point!" An angry man in the crowd yells.
"Moving on, my name is Linda. I'm here to interject when necessary ,narrate, and provide conext, I suppose. I'm also here to warn you. What you are about to read will make absolutely no f*cking sense- Hey, wait a minute! I can't swear? Isn't this story rated M anyway?"
Well, no. A lot of KH fans aren't that old so I figured…
"Why are you talking? Isn't that the exact same reason you created me?"
Yeah, but I figured people like blondes more anyway, so….
"Why are you telling the audiences this? They don't care. They came here to laugh, not listen to the author have a conversation with himself."
You know what Linda, why don't you shut the fuck up and do what I tell- write, whatever- you to do, okay?
"So you can swear, but I can't?" Linda stares at the sky and puts her hands on her hips. "That's not fair."
Linda I swear to God, I will backspace you out of existence.Linda shrugs. "Touchy, touchy. Where was I? Oh right. What you are about to read will make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Dimensions will be broken, Milk will spill, and maybe Riku will finally come out of the closet. Who knows? We're pretty much making this up as we go."
Linda bows one more time before exiting the stage. "Enjoy the show, tip your waitresses, and prepare to have your childhoods destroyed."
Curtain Closes.