Best Friends

Snowflakes slowly drifted to the ground and landed in their silent harmony. It was December and the night was cold, yet peaceful. The Digidestined were planning a get-together in the park that very next day. Some people were to bring music, others food, drinks, or games. But, Takeru wasn't sure if he wanted to go or not. He had been feeling ill the past couple days. It was nothing serious… Or so he thought. The illness wasn't a fever, nor the flu, or a stomachache… Maybe it was the way he was thinking. He had been doubting the fact of his life. Why was he brought into the world to be parted from his brother? And to be played with in the game of love?

Takeru turned in his bed, the lights were off and his radio was playing gently on his favorite station. Dark circles were under his eyes and his hands were always cold. Whenever someone asked if he was okay, he'd say the same thing: "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. It's probably just a cold." He had been saying that for the past week and a half… Nothing cheered him up. Not even the sight of Hikari; the one whom the boy loved, or seemingly loved, made him smile. Utter confusion was absorbing the poor boy's soul and it showed. What was wrong with him?

Again, he shifted to try to make himself comfortable. Every time he'd move, he felt weaker. It was as if his life was giving up on him. This wasn't like Takeru; he was usually the one who cheered others up. He rarely ever took pity from people. But he engulfed the sorrow he had brought upon himself. He felt a lump in his throat as he thought about this.

"Why must I think this?" He asked himself, "Why am I acting this way? Why is it so hard for me to get sleep at night? Why is everything so dark to me? Why do I feel alone when so many people are around?" He had so many questions to ask. But he couldn't talk to anyone. His mind kept telling him to be strong, to hide his feelings, to keep this a secret. It pained him more to keep it locked up. He didn't know what was wrong with himself. Why would anyone else?

Finally, he sat up and rubbed his head, his hands were trembling. When he first tried to stand on his feet, he fell back down, but he urged himself to stand up again. Stepping towards the window, he caught a reflection in the mirror. He turned to face it and he stared in silence for a little while. His arms were unusually thin, the same with the rest of his body. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to stand out even more. He hung his head, ashamed of himself and started to cry, his blond hair falling over his forehead.

The young man knew he had to change himself. He had to change back into his cheerful disposition. But he couldn't! He couldn't pull himself together! Not alone, not by himself! His body collapsed onto the dresser in front of him, he was shaking unwillingly. He didn't want to be like this… Who would?

He managed to pull himself up and made his way to the door, grabbing his heavy jacket before he left. He walked silently down the hall, slowly, but silently. Takeru opened the front door and left, not sure of where he was going. Perhaps he would find his death spot. He smiled weakly to himself. Yes, that's what he wanted to do, he wanted to die. If it were his decision… he'd die on the spot. That would rid the pressure on his self and the worry of others.

The snow kept falling from the heavens as the frail boy walked down the street. His coat was pulled tightly around himself and his boots were already getting wet from the snow. With each step, his breath got heavier and the lump in his throat seemed to grow. He thought that if he didn't do something about it, he'd choke. The path that he chose was lighted with streetlights and the snow on the ground made it look brighter. To Takeru, it was still dark. Everything seemed so dark to him…

He found himself on his friend's street. Glancing up at the apartments, he stood there in the falling snow. Thoughts raced through his mind. Should he go and talk with his friend? Get it off his chest? Or should he keep walking? Takeru stood with his eyes set on a balcony. A faint smile crossed his face when he saw that the light was on. It was the only thing in his mind that was bright.

Unhurriedly, the boy walked up the flight of stairs. He didn't bother taking the elevator, he wanted to prove to himself that he was still okay. His eyes were still filled with tears, making his crystal blue eyes shine even more. Before his hand could reach up and knock on the door, it opened. The two people stared at each other, one well rested, the other looking very cold and ill.

"Takeru…" the person whispered, "come on in…"

Takeru followed his friend into a bedroom silently. There the computer screen was on, as well as the radio. It was on the station that Takeru liked.

"So what were you doing out so late at night?" his friend asked.

Takeru looked down, his damp hair starting to drip from the melting snow. "Well," he started, "I wasn't really doing anything. I just couldn't get any sleep tonight. So I decided to go for a walk."

"When it was snowing? And when you are ailing?" the voice of his friend seemed to calm him.

He smiled faintly, "Everyone does crazy things once in a while. Were you planning to go somewhere?" Takeru looked at his friend, dressed in a warm coat, basically ready to go outside.

"Yeah," the friend admitted, "but at least I had a destination."

Takeru sighed deeply.

"Have a seat if you want." The friend said, "I can apprise that something is tormenting you."

Takeru removed his coat and fell onto a chair, "Such big words." He chuckled, "I don't want to bother you with my stories."

"Friends are to help friends, aren't they?"

"Yeah…"

"Then, tell me. Maybe I could help."

The blonde set his chin on the back of the chair, his eyes were still filled with tears and the lump in his throat didn't shrink any. He gulped it and started to reveal his feelings, "I've been feeling really bad. You could tell it, I know. But it's nothing like an illness. More or less… I'm just depressed. About what, I wonder? I don't know… I never did. At first, I thought it was because I had the flu or something. But… I figured out that it wasn't. It was like something or someone was gripping my heart in their hand and they didn't let go. They didn't even let up. They just keep getting tighter and tighter to cause me pain. I can't explain it like I think it… It's not like me. It seems as though I--"

"Do you love somebody?"

Takeru blinked. He thought about Hikari. The girl who he had expressed his feelings to in so many ways, but he didn't have the actual courage to tell her to the face. He thought of any other possibilities. No… he couldn't think about anyone else but Hikari. "I…" Takeru stuttered, "I don't know if I-I love Hikari… But…"

"Is it just because of your past memories?" His friend lowered his own head, remembering his own past, and beginning to feel upset.

"Possibly." Takeru closed his eyes. "If I could… I would die right now."

"You wouldn't die."

"Yes I would. I feel so hurt, but I don't know why. Why! Why am I cursed with all this torture?"

"Everyone has dismal stories in their lives."

"But I seem to have the add-ons! The simple things that other people can't possibly come across." Takeru rubbed his eyes, "I used to be good in school. And in basketball. Now look at me… I can't dribble, I can't shoot… I can't tell the difference between similes and metaphors. I can't divide, I can't multiply, and I can't find the square root of sixteen! I've been falling down a steep, painful hill ever since I told Hikari how I felt. She didn't do anything! Did you know that? She just told me to think about what I said. I did… So many nights I thought about what I said. I thought I did the right thing! And I did! Didn't I?"

"Sure you did…"

"Then why is it coming back to haunt me? I've been falling apart. My appetite has dropped to barely a cup of water, my pain keeps increasing every time I move, and my mind keeps repeating the words I said."

"What did you say?"

Takeru thought for a moment. "I said: Hikari, you've been a great friend to me. And I know I may be starting too early, but I'd like to ask if you'd be mine.-- She said for me to think about it! What is there to think about? Seriously! Loving her isn't enough?"

"Maybe you don't love her, Takeru."

Silence filled the room. Not love Hikari? But he's been thinking about this for so long. He had come to the conclusion that he did love her.

"What do you mean?" Takeru asked carefully.

"Maybe," the friend explained, "she told you to think about such things because she knows you cannot love her. She knows you belong to another. Maybe… Maybe you don't love her, Takeru. Perhaps that is what she wanted you to think about."

Takeru felt his chin start to quiver. He didn't want to cry. But it happened… His friend walked over to him and gave him a friendly hug to calm him down. Together they talked about problems. And together they figured out what was wrong. Together they stayed for the night. In fact, they stayed up all night, whether talking, or listening, or watching the snow fall… they remained together as friends… Best friends.

Uhkay. o.o Guess who Takeru is talking to! o.o; I know, this sounds really off right now…. But I'm feeling depressed and I had to write this 'cause I was bored. If you dun' like it, I'm sorry. ~_~ But review if you want. Or go read other stuff. G'bye. Hikari T.