Readers,
This is a rewrite of Bella and Edward's return from Italy. I adore him, but frankly I thought she was too easy on him…I wouldn't have forgiven so easily. This is a little taste of how I would like to have seen the scene play out…
Bella had come. I knew she would, Alice had predicted it. Alice…she wasn't speaking to me when she'd left. She didn't like lying to Bella. She found this entire ruse childish and unnecessary. I found it equally as distasteful, but what choice did I have? I'd returned to Folks and I had no intention of living here without Bella. And I wasn't leaving again.
I watched her from an upstairs window. That ridiculous red truck she so fiercely defended. At least it protected her. Kept her safe in a way that I continually failed to do. She looked anxious and uncomfortable, like she'd rather be somewhere else. With someone else? No. No I simply could not entertain that thought. The very idea would unhinge me at a time when self control was paramount.
She looked more fragile than I remembered. It hurt to look at her. She'd become impossibly thin, even paler than before. Charlie should have done a better job while I was gone, forced her to eat. Eat, sleep, and not try to kill herself with cliffs and dirt bikes. That's it Edward, blame Charlie for her poor condition.
My breath caught as Bella looked up to find me watching from the window, our eyes connecting for the first time in days. Had it only been days? My fingers clenched and flexed with the need to touch her. God, but it felt like an eternity since I'd held her while she slept. Watched her dream, heard her sigh my name. Focus, Edward...all in due time.
I forced a casual stance while I tried to read her face. Her expression was serious, with purpose. Was she, at this moment, contemplating an escape? Would she leave to spite her promise to spend time with Alice? She'd never make it to the truck, I'd see to that.
I was on the front porch before she'd had a chance to make up her mind. I was careful not to stand too close, for her sake and mine. Heaven help me, her smell. Would I never cease wanting to taste her? This was impossible! Desperate to have her near me, aching to touch her, terrified of what would happen if I did. Say something, Edward.
"Thank you for coming, Bella…can we talk inside?" Not exactly an inspiring beginning.
"Where is Alice?" She crossed her arms over her chest in an unconsciously defensive gesture.
"Out…they're all out, I wanted to speak with you alone." I meant to sound apologetic, but it came out impatient.
Bella shifted uncomfortably and glanced towards the door. Her curiosity was the only thing keeping her from walking back to the truck. That and a misplaced need to protect those she cared about…storming out would have been unkind to me. I was careful to hide the pleasure I felt at knowing that. Knowing a small part of her still sought to please me. I didn't deserve it, but I would take it all the same.
"Please…this won't take long." Yet another lie. I was prepared to keep her here as long as it took.
I turned my back on her and walked into the house, not at all confident that she would follow. I sighed in relief when I heard her walking behind me. I had never felt so out of my element.
I gestured towards the couch, but she didn't move. She simply continued to look everywhere but at me. "We didn't get a chance to talk on the plane," I began, "there were things you needed to hear…from me."
"You're alive, that's all that matters, Edward." She looked as though she had more to say, so I waited. A small smile escaped me as I watched her fidget nervously with the zipper on her jacket. How eternally Bella, self-conscious and yet utterly unaware of her actions. How did I live this pointless existence without her? Impossible.
"Alive, thanks to you," I took a cautious step towards her. "The damsel rescues the villain," I said, trying for a lighter tone.
"You're not the villain, Edward…honestly," She looked at me now, her discomfort replaced by annoyance. "But you're welcome, anyway. And besides, you have Alice to thank for most of it."
Typical. How like her to take the focus from herself at every turn. She looked quickly at the door and I realized she thought our conversation was at an end. I felt a moment of panic at the thought of her leaving. Oh no, love…we aren't finished yet.
"Did you think I wanted you here so I could thank you for saving me?" I tried to keep the humor out of my voice, but the look on her face told me I'd failed miserably.
"You have something else to say?" Her tone was brisk. She was quite possibly the most precious when she was attempting to be assertive. I very much doubted this would be the right time to point that out.
I couldn't stand the distance between us any longer. I had to feel the heat from her body. Two steps closed the gap between us. Her hands went out in a gesture of self-protection and I gently pressed them to my chest to keep her near as I spoke.
"I have more to say, Bella. I'm sorry." I placed my hands on her shoulders and bent closer to her face. Her smell was beyond magnificent and I had to exhale before I could continue. "I'm sorry I didn't fight for us. I wish I'd never left."
"Me, too," she said softly. Her whispered words could not have caused a greater wave of emotion inside me had she screamed them! Pleasure, pain, fear…and victory. All human feelings that I both craved and detested. I was winning her over, I could feel it, and I'd never been more afraid of what that meant for us.
"I'm back…for good, Bella, and I swear to you I will never leave you again," I took a deep breath. I deserved the torture. "I can't be apart from you. I know you need time, and I can't always promise that I'll be patient…" This was sounding less and less like an apology. I had to make her hear me. I could not…would not go through the Hell of losing her again. The horror and pain of believing she was dead. The detestable monster I wanted so badly to become again when I imagined a world without her. No…never again.
"Look at me." I hissed. I wasn't above using all of my talents, so determined was I to never lose her again. She stared up at me; the same trusting, curious eyes I'd seen in other humans I'd…what had she called it…'dazzled'. "You belong to me, Isabella Swan. You will forever be mine. And you will love me again."
So be it if this is what it had come to. Tricking the only woman in the world I'd ever been truly honest with for the sake of winning her back. I couldn't help but smile as I felt her sway slightly in my arms, my confidence returning as she leaned into me. That's it, love…let me in. Her eyes closed, her pretty mouth parted as I leaned in for a long overdue reunion.
"Stop that," she sighed. I pulled back to look in her eyes, but they were still closed. "Just stop." She opened her eyes and looked at me. She was angrier than I've ever seen her. "I'm not a waitress in a restaurant…or one of your teachers…or any of the OTHER people you use that on."
I dropped my hands from her shoulders, but I didn't move away. "Bella, I only want…"
"Did you say 'I will love you again?'" It was as rhetorical question, so I waited. She took a step back, one hand going to the back of a nearby chair. She pinched the bridge of her nose with her other hand, a gesture I realized she'd adopted from me.
"Do…you…honestly…" She was so furious she could hardly speak. This was not going well at all. "Do you believe that I stopped loving you when you left?" Another rhetorical question. I was completely without words anyway. Utterly speechless for once in over one hundred years. What was I missing?
"Edward," Bella threw her hands up in surrender, "this is about trust! I don't trust you, Edward!" She was crying now, but I knew better than try and comfort her. I'd been drowning in her smell since she arrived, and now the pressing need to feel her against me might very well drive me to my knees.
"You left me broken," she sobbed, "broken on the forest floor, and you even had the nerve to make me promise not to…oh how did you put it? "Her hands fisted in her hair as she struggled to remember, "Right… not to 'do anything foolish'" At that she gave a humorless laugh. "But the real torture," she continued to my utter torment, "was staying alive. You knew it would hurt bad enough that I would want to die…and you left me anyway."
Her shoulders slumped. She looked as defeated as I felt. I had no idea what to say. In my arrogance I had failed to see any of this. Everything she'd said was true. She'd never stopped loving me. She never would. And I'd failed her. Given up on her, on us, just like she'd said.
"Bella, I was wrong to leave." I had no idea where this new speech was going, but maybe if I could make her see why I'd left, she could forgive me. "I honestly believed you were better off without me. Safer if we were apart." I wanted so badly to hold her while I said this. "Hear me when I tell you that I will never make the same mistake again. We are never better apart, I know that now." It was the truth. "Please."
She combed her fingers through her hair, and tucked what she could behind her ears. She was fighting for composure. She had no idea how fragile she was. Or how precious her human life was to my existence.
"I just don't know," she shook her head and hugged her arms around her chest. The gesture made me uncomfortable; I'd never seen her do this before. She looked utterly lost and vulnerable in that moment. "If I let you back in…really let you in…and you leave again…"
I was losing this battle. That's how I saw it. A battle for my very existence and I had no intention of losing again. This was beyond frustrating! Impotence born of my own doing, completely unable to simply make her do as I wished!
I was on her before either of us even knew what was happening. In a second I had her beneath me on the leather couch, her arms locked above her head with my own.
"I will never…ever…leave you again," I bit out through clenched teeth. "And you will never leave me." She didn't look afraid, though I felt her heart beating fast against my chest as I pressed her into the soft leather. "I could change you…right here…the Volturi would thank me…" An empty threat, but I needed some control over this situation.
"Do it," she challenged without conviction, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. "Do it so that the next time you decide to leave…" she paused to gage my reaction, "I'll be fast enough to chase you down."
Fury born of frustration rippled from my hands downward and I fought to keep from crushing the precious bones beneath my fingers. Maddening woman! Had she not heard a word I'd said? Was she truly that eager to meet the monster I'd so artfully hidden from her? Very well…so be it.
A choked sob of shock escaped her as I pressed my lips to the blood warmed skin of her neck. I spread my lips against the paper thin layer of tissue, her heat warming them as they lingered. My tongue snaked out to taste her and I shuddered as I felt her pulse pound wild and uneven against the tip. God help me. Had any woman, on any corner of this Earth, ever had a hold such as this on a man? A mortal man could not have endured.
I closed my eyes, letting my razor sharp teeth replace my tongue. Poised and ready to strike, I was a hundred, a thousand times more deadly than the most lethal predator. Made more so by the fact that unlike those creatures, I had a purpose. A reason for what I was about to do that went far beyond natural instinct. This was survival. My purpose was Bella…and I would not survive without her.
This close to her skin, the blood coursing just beneath the surface scalded my throat, so long had it been since we were this close. I could ease the pain so easily right now. Unbidden, an image of Bella, a changed Bella, entered my mind. She was…glorious. Luminous, ethereal…and deadly.
At once the anger vanished and I found myself more weary than I'd felt in forever. I swallowed hard, wincing as the venom that waited for my prey slid down my throat instead. My mouth closed against her neck as I rained featherlight kisses against her now moist skin.
If keeping her meant having to change her now, this instant, I couldn't do it. I would not stop her beautiful beating heart. I would not do this out of anger. She could distrust me. She could refuse to be mine again. She could choose to stop loving me after this day. But she would not take from me these last moments with her.
In that instance I committed every detail to memory. The smell of her damp hair at the nape of her neck. The course feel of her shirt against my arms. I noted how the skin just behind her ear felt different than the skin along her jaw. I traced every contour and curve of her face with my lips, my tongue darting out to memorize her taste. All five senses would be filled with her, overflowing with her.
It wasn't until I reached her collarbone that I realized two things: One, I'd released her arms at some point because my hands were now eagerly memorizing the shape of her thigh, the curve at her waist, the gentle dip in the small of her back. And two, her hands were now fisted in my hair.
So caught up in my own pursuits, I hadn't felt the frantic tug until that moment. I paused, my open mouth delivering one last searing kiss to the sensitive swell of muscles between her neck and her shoulder.
"Edward." The single word wasn't so much a name as it was a plea. A request for something yet unnamed. Her breathing was nearly as erratic as her heartbeat. "Edward," she repeated with no less need, her tiny fists determinedly pulling my head back to her face.
Was this forgiveness? I didn't know, but I would not question this blessed gift. Indeed I was undeserving. Unchivalrous. Unstoppable.
"Mine," I growled against her ivory skin.
She was frantic beneath me. A hand to her hip stilled her movement, my other hand capturing her face. Her breath was hot against my lips as I hovered just inches away from her mouth.
"Edward…" My name, quiet in its expression, seeped with desperation and need. It was my utter undoing.
I kissed her with all of the loneliness, longing and inexplicable fear I'd suffered these last few months. Her taste was indescribable. She was…simply Bella. My reason, my world. If we had ceased to exist in that instance, it would not have mattered me, so perfect was this reunion.
She held nothing back. No timidity, no self-conscious concerns for the wanton desire she so boldly displayed. She was a woman loving a man, magnificent in her femininity. I was drowning in her scent. Scorched by the heat and feel of her soft body against mine, and I could no longer control the need raging inside of me.
Higher and higher it spiraled as the kiss grew in intensity. I needed more. Bella whimpered in answer to my unspoken plea, her teeth nipping at my lower lip. My tongue slid between her parted lips, gliding over her smooth teeth, memorizing the taste of her. My control slipped further as her slight body ground against my hip, seeking relief from an ache I was certain she couldn't name.
Was it the man or the monster in me that selfishly urged me on, goaded me towards ultimate bliss. The release would be magnificent in its surrender, I was certain. But at what cost? No, my selfish need persisted, take what is yours!
"God help us, Bella...if we don't stop…" I growled, my voice unrecognizable even to my own ears. I couldn't bring myself to finish the thought.
"Yours," she whispered.
So be it, I thought for the second time.
My mouth crushed hers in a rough, near violent kiss. I was pitiless and unmerciful in my assault. Bella responded without fear or hesitation, ardent and encouraged by my aggression.
I would take her innocence…consequences be damned.
THE END…FOR NOW….