I'm really loving how Magic Kaito and Detective Conan on the Anime page of Fanfiction are right across from each other. Well at least they were when I checked, idk if anyone's going to be adding new categories anytime soon.
Well then, enough nonsense. Here comes the drabble.
Enjoy.
She worked on the antidote every day, as diligently as possible.
Her heart desired otherwise. She'd rather be stuck in this form forever, forget the memories of her former life and replace it with childhood happiness and live worry free.
She could be with him too.
Shinichi.
She knew she shouldn't be thinking about him at all. Their lives were supposed to be disconnected, not intertwined so heavily like they were right now.
They met by complete coincidence and she had shrugged off the notion that he understood anything to the extent that she did about the underlying problem they were immersed in.
But he did know, and he often outsmarted her, something she had been amazed at over and over again. And only when she was thinking on par with him would he be satisfied enough to believe that maybe she was worthy enough for him.
Most of the time however, she would only put the knowledgeable facade on, so well that he often thought she knew completely what was going on when in reality her smile was one of discomfort and question. She couldn't understand why he even trusted her like that-did he really think that she could keep up with his mind?
She thought she knew him well enough but time and again he would trump her and his instincts, she would predict completely off. She'd be back at ground zero then, trying to figure him out like a puzzle.
And as a great sleuth as he was, sometimes she worried that she had completely figured her out, even when she couldn't even admit that fact to herself.
Love was irrational, she'd chide herself.
But the fact remained that she had found herself falling for him, that she wanted time to last forever when she was with him, that she regarded him closer than anyone else she met, and that she valued him more than herself sometimes.
She knew that she wasn't the only one with those emotions for him though.
And she knew that the other one at least had her feelings reciprocated while hers was supported by her, and her alone, perhaps.
She couldn't say that she was envious, that this was all a race, a competition for Ran and her to run-Ran being very far ahead of her, but she couldn't help but feel that way, that Ran had the early start.
She could always try to catch up and pass Ran, but that felt so wrong.
Watching him watch her was a strange experience. Sometimes she'd pretend that when she wasn't looking, that he watched her in the same way, and sometimes she'd pretend she was Ran herself. A desire to be desired. And other times, she found herself attempting to distract him from her, telling him that if he wanted to protect her, he had to stay as far away from her as possible.
And while this was true, she couldn't help but think about a subtle ulterior motive she could have in driving him away from Ran and closer to her.
But it was unethical.
Ran deserved him. Herself? Shiho Miyano? She didn't know. She thought she did but if she was looking overhead she knew she was far from it.
Or maybe she was?
Sometimes she was in trouble, and he would save her, screaming her name in the exact same manner he would for Ran. If she went missing, he'd worry just the same. If she wanted to talk, he'd listen. If she was being bothered, he'd protect her. If she had to lie, he'd back her up. If she wanted company, he'd support her. If she needed him, he was there.
But if she was falling for him, would he catch her?
Perhaps he did like her. Maybe she was putting herself too far down.
And people change, right?
Maybe her feelings could be returned?
But she talked herself out of it.
It couldn't be true, and the illusion couldn't last forever.
She didn't know what she'd do when she was reverted.
And without him.
Perhaps she'd run away forever? Run from the Organization? Run from her feelings? Run from him?
Run to him?
If there was a way to cure herself, she'd take it as willingly as the way she took the pill to let her research choose her fate in death or youth.
In and out of love by science, she'd laugh.
God, she had to let him go.
Sometimes when she got this far in her thoughts during late nights working on the fix, she'd have to change the water in the beaker, because some impure tear fell into it.
:( Well there's the angst for you. Maybe I'll work on an actual fic where he will catch her when she falls. :)
(PS-Reviews are great.)
thir13enth
