Story title: The Sunrise

Rating: M, mature readers

Warning: Sexual references, slash (MxM), angst

Pairing(s)/Characters : Jack/Ianto, Lisa/Ianto, (team mentioned)

Disclaimer: I am not getting paid for this; if I were, I would be a PRETTY happy girl. But, alas, I am not ;) I do not have anything to do with Torchwood, nor do I own Jack Harkness, Ianto or any of the characters. I am just playing with them; I will put them back when I'm done. Okay? ^_^(u guessed it, eh? I'm Canadian). The idea of the situation came from my imagination (obviously) and was a bit inspired by The Paris Letter's Sandy Sonnenburg's (sp?) therapy session. If you haven't listened to/watched the play, it's an amazing play, written by Jon Robin Baitz. :) Okay, that's all. Enjoy!

Author's Note: Chapter inspired by the song "He Dreams He's Awake" by the band, Stars. They are AMAZING! Canadians rule

The Sunrise

Chapter 1 – Prologue
'It Won't Let Me Go'

I lay in the darkness, staring up at the dim blue light creeping out from the outer Hub. I can feel the warm, but thin, white sheets – now a pale blue from the lighting – over my legs. I can feel the heat from the warm body next to me.
His muscular arm drapes across my chest, his hot breathe running down my neck. I take in a sobbing breath, trying to keep as silent as possible. I don't want him to wake.
I never want to be here. My skin feels as if it burns at his touch. I feel dirty, lying here night after night. Fuck after fuck. It makes my skin crawl thinking of what each night brought.

But I endure. For her. Only for her. To keep her alive. I would do anything.

I admit – I get shivers when the sun sets. The rest of the team go home. They leave me alone. With him. I'm glad no one knows.

I feel Jack kiss the crook of my neck. It burns, I flinch. He's awake. Oh no.

When the night falls, Jack takes me. In the shadows of the Hub. The places he makes me have sex with him in. I insist that I'm not having sex with him; he is with me. He is the one fucking me.

I tell her that. She is the only one I love. One day, I will find a way to help her.

It is only when the sun rises; in the morning. When the team comes back from their peaceful nights, I do the walk of shame. Not that anyone would notice me, though. They're too busy for that.
I use Jack's shower in the mornings. I practically scald myself with the hot water; trying to get him off of me. Off of my body, out of my skin. It rarely helps, though. He's there. He's everywhere. He haunts me.

"Ianto." He whispers. I quickly close my eyes, trying pathetically to pass off as asleep. Jack rests his head against my chest, pressing against my heart.

It's the night that truly scares me. I rarely actually go out. I stay; paranoid of the chance of someone finding her. Especially Jack. He knows the first person to go to. Me, of course.
But, it still puzzles me; why me? He probably thinks of me as one of the most unstable members of Torchwood. Why let me, of all people, down to his compartment under his office? Let me see his weaknesses, his faults...
Usually, when I go off on these endless questions in my mind, I just resolve it temporarily, thinking to myself that Jack is just a pervert. A perverted man who just does what he wants.
I remember the first time Jack had come to me. In the night, the darkness takes over even the Hub. Jack came up behind me. I didn't know he was there. I suddenly felt two hands rest on either side of my waist. I spun around, pulling my gun out, aiming. Jack smiled and took the gun out of my hand. He kissed me. I didn't know what to do. I let it happen. It was a month into my employment at Torchwood. Still a panicky mess; worried about every glance from anyone; scared that they knew about her. After that night, I was worried that the team knew about Jack and I.

She accuses me of not loving her. She tells me to kill her; that she has nothing to live for. I tell her I do it for her. It's the only way to get on his good side quickly. She understands.

I think of the past. Times with her. Love; true love, it seemed. But, in Torchwood, true love seems destined to fail. No one in Torchwood lives to have lives outside of it. The relationship is complicated – systematical, even. But, as the person I am, I appreciated the order in which things went. I loved the reassurance that everything will be alright.

Jack. Jack. Jack.
It hurts to think of him. The craziness of not knowing what is going to happen. It makes my head spin.
The sex – It's crazy. It's intoxicating; the deliriousness of it. Not knowing what is going to happen. It makes my heart pound in my chest. It makes my skin burn at his touch. The excitement of every night, it's terrifying.
He holds me afterward, every night. He says nothing. Just wraps his arms around me, holding me close. Until we fall asleep.
This warmth; this comfort he has... I wonder where it comes from. His warm, soft breathing on my neck; his beautiful body against mine, holding me in his arms. It seems to envelope me in a dream of peacefulness.
I think, for the first time in my life, I may be beginning to be happy.

I remember where I am, and relax my breathing.
"I'm sorry." Jack whispers.
I open my eyes.
He's gone.
I'm in my bed.
I hear my front door shut through my open bedroom door.
I sigh and roll over.
I hear a crumple.
I pick up the paper I rolled over.

'I found Lisa'